Ideas on how to dump someone!!!

[Maryana]

Any advice/idea welcomed! The deed will take place this weekend...

Ps. Not sure if this thread should have been posted else where....

[HonaloochieB]

Just slip out the back Jack.

[Moos]

Not by text, letter or phone. In person is the only civilised way to do it.

[Ladygooner]

Make a new plan Stan

[*Bob*]

Surely it depends on your age?

If you're thirteen, then text message is almost de rigueur these days. Or get a friend to simply phone and say "you're dumped" whilst you giggle in the background, high on solvents and cider.

Angst-ridden teenagers dumping their longer-term partners would be best to go with a letter. This way you can spill your guts in an ill-advised emotional missive - one you're sure to regret writing almost the instant you've sent it.

Anything over the age of thirty and cohabiting: my advice would be to gradually become cold and detached over a long period of time until it finally dawns on your partner that you haven't had sex for two years and you always delete text messages the instant you receive them.

[Cassius]

Dump them in the way you would find least painful if you were the dumpee.

[HonaloochieB]

No need to be coy, Roy.

[HonaloochieB]

Get them to line up with a group of other people and bellow

"EVERYONE WHO'S GOING OUT WITH MARYANA, ONE STEP FORWARD"

Pause.

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING 'XXXX'?"

It's not subtle, but you'll get the message across.

[Ladygooner]

Just drop off the key Lee, and set yourself free

[Ladygooner]

or one of the following excuses -

"its not you its me"

"I just need more space"

"I'm not ready for a big commitment"

[Moos]

How about that, Ladygooner, I always thought it was quay.

*hops on bus (without Gus)*

[Jah Lush]

Depends if there is anyone else involved. Is there? Have you met someone else?

[Ted Max]

I think a visit to the EDF drinks is in order. Ask the organisers for two name badges: "Maryana" and "Maryana's ex".

Keep a print out of this thread handy if you think further explanation might be required.

[ratty]

Fake your own death!

[*Bob*]

Whatever you do, don't do anything before you've squirrelled-away any items of value.

Making them cry like a baby doesn't mean they're entitled to your CD collection.

[Dulwich_ Park_ Fairy]

If you're thirteen, then text message is almost de rigueur these days. Or get a friend to simply phone and say "you're dumped" whilst you giggle in the background, high on solvents and cider.

Angst-ridden teenagers dumping their longer-term partners would be best to go with a letter. This way you can spill your guts in an ill-advised emotional missive - one you're sure to regret writing almost the instant you've sent it.

See, thats why I always end relationships by fax, it has the emotion of a letter coupled with the detatchment of the text. It just seems to work. Voicemail is another good way but just check that you can leave more than a 20sec message at one time or else you keep having to call back, which becomes tedious.

[macker]

Dulwich_ Park_ Fairy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> See, thats why I always end relationships by fax,

> it has the emotion of a letter coupled with the

> detatchment of the text. It just seems to work.

> Voicemail is another good way but just check that

> you can leave more than a 20sec message at one

> time or else you keep having to call back which

> becomes tedious.

DPF, one message is sufficient. After all,

there's no need to discuss much.

[LuvSnailz]

This is ridiculous and uncalled for Maryana. Im so sorry.

[Dulwich_ Park_ Fairy]

DPF, one message is sufficient. After all,

there's no need to discuss much.

But 20 seconds barely gives you time to explain how "its not you, its me", I think you should allocate 1 minute of phone message per year that you dated.

[HonaloochieB]

Moos Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> How about that, Ladygooner, I always thought it

> was quay.

>

> *hops on bus (without Gus)*

So Moos you thought Lee was being invited to drown himself as opposed to handing back his doorkey.

It works though.

[Keef]

This is a joke right? If not, then plant some lipstick on his collar and some knickers in his car and dump him for cheating on you. That'll mess with his head as well as breaking his heart. Then show him that you've asked for advise on an internet forum and hand him the gun with which to shoot himself in the head.

[Moos]

Oh HonaloochieB, I thought you loved me. How could you misunderstand me so.

Of course not, I envisaged Lee (or Leigh) leaping athletically onto a motorboat and vrooming off into the sunset a la Bacardi ad.

[Annasfield]

Text message usually does the trick, however do expect to be stalked for the next 6 months whilst the dumped tries to find out "why?". ;-)

[capt_birdseye]

Act like a complete arse in the hope that they will dump you.

[indiepanda]

Depends how long you've been seeing them for, why you want to dump them and if you ever want to have a hope of being friends. Only kind way if it's been a serious relationship is in person and in private. And don't feel tempted to do anything silly like tell the truth about why. No good can come of disecting the end of a relationship to death. The only thing people need to know is you don't want to be in it anymore.

But if they have done something seriously rotten to deserve to be dumped.... maybe less kindness is called for!