Is this it?

[Jah Lush]

I'm thinking of converting to Islam and blowing myself up in the name of Allah just so I can get to those 40 vestal virgins waiting for me up there. Jeez what a reward. I'm going to heaven because I've spent my time in hell.

[mockney piers]

"yet not eternal as that implies a liner passage of time"

Talking of which, what's that classic black & white film about the characters on a passenger liner, each of which rather unsure as to why they're there, tells each other their life story, and it soon turns out they're all dead (and presumably in purgatory) and not until each resolves their issues are they allowed to walk through a door to their respective fates.

I watched it when very very young and I believed in god, and I had an issue with the plot about the recently married sailor (I guess sunk, it was during the war) had to come to terms with the fact that he couldn't go back to his wife to tell her he's ok, but don't worry you'll be reunited again in heaven, she'll wait for you.

I couldn't help but think that everyone would actually be telling her that she has to move on as he'd want her to live her life in full. No he doesn't, he's gutted from Ilford love and horrified at the thought of your getting some!!

Anyway, it was one of the first times I questioned the logic of the tenants(sic) of the faith I'd been (rather half-heartedly) brought up with, and it pretty soon all came crashing down the moment I started applying any analysis (BUT WHY MUMMY?) to it.

[mockney piers]

careful jah, it's open to interpretation that one.

raisins not virgins

Who'd have thought misunderstandings could arise from ancient mistranslations eh?

[SeanMacGabhann]

Jah - that sounds like a lot of hand-holding and reassuring....

[Jah Lush]

Oh Christ! 72 virgins! I'd never get any peace and quiet. I think I'll stick to smoking weed and being a Rastafarian.

[Brendan]

Right so this is paradise. Looks nice but I have some questions. Firstly, why the 72 raisins and what am I supposed to do with a 12 inch pianist?

[Cassius]

Animals live, animals die - we are animals. End of................

[Ted Max]

And that's all she wrote folks, all wrapped up in time for tea.

What can we thrash out tomorrow? I say either an equitable restructuring of the world's financial system, or else something about why people put sugar on popcorn.

[Jah Lush]

Nothing too taxing please. I'm planning a hangover for tomorrow.

[Ted Max]

World's finances it is, then. Sugar on popcorn might take a whole weekend, even for the Forum's finest.

[JimmyD]

how about....

is this it?

good album or bad album?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

You'll have to give up bacon sarnies, Jah.

[Jah Lush]

I'm not having that. A man can't live without bacon in the morning.

[Keef]

I think we live on through what we do, be it have kids, make good art, play great music, or generally just be nice to people so they say "suchandsuch was a top fella wasn't he" whilst chatting about you in the pub.

Other than that, I guess death is death.

[Ted Max]

Death is death - Opus' bitter come-back single?

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Keef Wrote:

I think we live on through what we do, be it have kids, make good art, play great music, or generally just be nice to people so they say "suchandsuch was a top fella wasn't he" whilst chatting about you in the pub. Other than that, I guess death is death.

I think your being optimistic Keef.At best down the Pub it will probably be:

"Have you heard?"

"Heard what M8?"

"Billy Fry!-Dead!"

"Whaaat!! No!"

"Yeah! Brown Bread! Last night-sudden heart attack!"

"Cor-Blimey,who would have thought,eh? He was a good egg,was Billy."

"Just shows yer.."

PAUSE...

"Anywayz who is up for a game of pool?"

"I'll join you,

"Charlie,2 Pints please me old M8!"....

The End.

[Keef]

That's more than I ever could have hoped for!

[SteveT]

The one consistant thing we have, you live until you die...........................and that is the end of the story.

[shoshntosh]

WHAT IF.... we go where we think we are going to go? like, self-directed?? so... you catholic boy over there, you are going to heaven or hell or purgatory (based on how many times you masturbated, etc) and you heathen over there, you are going into the great big void... and me... well, i've so far been happy to just "let the mystery be" but now i'm thinking that maybe mauritius would be a good afterlife.

well, so long as the people i love are there.

and therein lies the rub.

[HonaloochieB]

I recall falling into conversation once with a couple of people who told me that the only certainties in life are death and taxis.

I upbraided them with no little vigour and pointed out the confusion they'd made between taxis and hearses. I left them with fleas in their ears and damned and cursed them for jackanapes. But maybe I was hasty.

On reflection perhaps the pub we were in was playing The Sugababes louder than was necessary.

Maybe their diction wasn't all it might have been.

I may also have taken on board more strong continental-style lager than was wise on an empty stomach.

Whichever it might have been I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise without reservation to both Paul and Barry Chuckle.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

I recall falling into conversation once with a couple of people who told me that the only certainties in life are death and taxis.

Leave It Right Out!

THAT was always my lil joke!(6)

Plagirism is rife. I simply MUST have been the first living person to have thought of that...B)

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Remember:Every 24 hours is a deposit God makes into the bank account of your life to see what you will do with it.....

Me?..I'm off to ma bed...

[Asset]

.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

What Asset said.

[HonaloochieB]

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> I recall falling into conversation once with a

> couple of people who told me that the only

> certainties in life are death and taxis.

>

> Leave It Right Out!

> THAT was always my lil joke!(6)

> Plagirism is rife. I simply MUST have been the

> first living person to have thought of that...B)

I'd like to think of it as great minds thinking alike TLS.

Definitely not fools seldom differing.

Nosiree Jack.