Free market excess and the credit crunch

[dulwichdoll]

I'm quite aware that the global banking system has let us all down dramatically, my interpretation is that it seems very similar to what I appear to be going through with MY staff at the moment, and their expectations of me.

Most of my staff have been with me for quite a considerable length of time and under normal circumstances everything would be "hunky-dory"; however, these are extraordinary circumstances in which most small businesses find themselves, mine included. Over the last few years we have been inundated with red tape, Mr. Brown's "stealth" taxes and Mr. Darling's obvious hatred of the licensed trade and the ongoing taxes inflicted by him; changes in the law; changes in all aspects of the taxation structure; increases in employers' National Insurance contributions and corporation tax; increases in rent, business rates, council tax, gas, electricity, water rates, telephone charges, credit card commission, refuse collection, waste oil collection, laundry for chefs' whites; disposal of light bulbs, fluorescent strip lights and batteries and anything considered toxic! (When I say increases, I mean, for example, my electricity has gone up by over 25%...!). Legal requirements to change all existing fire extinguishers to RED ONES (nothing wrong with the others, just the colour needed to be changed!), install grease-traps, and gas safety interlocking devices, (the latter over ?2,000), the alternative fines would put us out of business - Health & Safety has truly gone mad - I can be sued for virtually anything. Insurance policies (compulsory ones) gone bananas. I spend one day a week, every week, going round the entire building with a clip-board ticking boxes! Brown's & Darling's next trick after the smoking ban? To make it compulsory for pubs to lower the measures of spirits and wine, which means that I've now got to fork out for new optics at ?6 a go and new, extra, wine glasses at about ?1 a hit............plusssssss V.A.T. not forgetting that the duty on alcohol will go up ...... again .....by 4% in the not too distant future and all of this, under this government has got f*** all to do with banking...!!

Increases on all janitorial supplies - that's toilet rolls, hand-soap, washing up liquid, lavatory cleaner, floor cleaner, soap powder, sanitiser etc., etc., etc. And when some scroat up-chucks in the urinal and it gets blocked or when some daft bint uses half of a toilet roll to dry her hands instead of an electric dryer and then tries to flush it down the toilet and blocks that as well and I have to call out a plumber - and of course this always goes wrong on the weekend when the rates are doubled, plus, guess what, their rates have gone up too.....! And when some lazy little shit can't be bothered to clean out the glass washer properly and it gets scaled up with our wonderful (hard) London water and I need to call out the engineer @ sixty-five effin' quid a pop, excluding parts & labour after 30 minutes and excluding V.A.T.; Oh! - wait a minute - this wonderful government of ours, (Labour or Conservative, don't give a big rat's arse which at the moment) has just given us a two & a half percent reduction on that haven't they? What you and everyone else don't reafuckinlise is that this is only for 12 months! The 4% hike in the duty on alcohol is permafuckinent....! So next year or the year after, they'll increase the V.A.T. to 20% and some, then they'll get it back - from poor a****holes like me! Not forgetting how much it cost everybody to change their tills, accounting procedures, paper goods etc., etc., to accommodate this V.A.T. change in the first place and then we're all going to have to change back...!

I have to pay out for off-site training, e.g. all food handlers to go on a training course @ ?120 a hit plus V.A.T. ( I could train them myself but they must receive a recognised certificate!), and when you consider that the average life span of a waiter or K.P. (that's kitchen porter to the uninitiated) is about six months, if you're lucky, that's a lot of dough to pay out.

When there are increases on every conceivable cost line, like food and beverages; increases in the minimum wage (not a bad thing, but along with all the other increases, I have had to cut recruitment and lose staff to "natural wastage") this means that I have to work more hours, work harder and try and be in two even three places at once. It means that my staff aren't getting a pay rise this year and they didn't get one last year either, and when they start bitching and griping about not getting a pay rise or "why can't they eat me out of house and home, while they are on duty", claiming it is their right to do so, and when one guy in particular said his paternity leave didn't pay enough so he would tack it on to the end of his holiday allowance, and when I say "well, actually, I can't afford to give you a pay rise and I can't afford to feed you three meals a day when you're on duty and I can't afford any more staff at the moment because I'm paying long term sick pay to someone who is undergoing a fourth bout of chemotherapy", over a period of three years (and believe you me this person would be the last one on God's Earth to whinge about anything) and when I say, "so, if you don't like it, you know where the door is."........ they take me to a trifuckinbunal and do me for "constructive dismissal"... and because I've used those exact words... the bastards win and clean me out to the tune of ?10,000 or more and it's easier to not fight it and settle out of court and pay them off because the lawyers cost you three times that amount.....!!!! Add on to that the amount of stress, anxiety, and downright misery, not to say how much it costs you in drink....!

To add insult to injury, the majority of my customers come from the "Square Mile - The City" and "Canary Wharf" the other City, so consequently my turnover, at present, has dropped by between 17% - 20%, I can't "lay-off" any of my full time staff and I can't afford to make anyone redundant, so, I cut my own wages.... I'm on ?500 per month with no hope of a dividend for the forseeable future!

Regardless of what has happened in "the banking world", the publicity surrounding its situation has only succeeded in alerting the "run-of-the-mill-workforce" to the fact that their jobs may just be under threat; that's when they look at me and say "you're supposed to look after meeeee....!" Unfortunately, because of the global banking cock-up, I can't find anyone who would pay me the right price for this place, so I'll just hang on in here like I've always done, like the bloke in the bedsit with the beat-up old car - hoping that things will improve and that I'll be able to get my own snout in the trough before the whole world goes tits-up.

That's just a little bit of my "back story" and if that makes me guilty of "being a wally who craves a bit of free-market excess" - then I put my hands up.

Anybody want to buy a pub?

[dulwichmum]

"Increases on all janitorial supplies - that's toilet rolls, hand-soap, washing up liquid, lavatory cleaner, floor cleaner, soap powder, sanitiser etc., etc., etc. And when some scroat up-chucks in the urinal and it gets blocked or when some daft bint uses half of a toilet roll to dry her hands instead of an electric dryer and then tries to flush it down the toilet and blocks that as well and I have to call out a plumber - and of course this always goes wrong on the weekend when the rates are doubled, plus, guess what, their rates have gone up too.....! And when some lazy little shit can't be bothered to clean out the glass washer properly and it gets scaled up with our wonderful (hard) London water and I need to call out the engineer @ sixty-five effin' quid a pop, excluding parts & labour after 30 minutes and excluding V.A.T.;"

Oh sweetie, I fear you have completely overshared. Have you tried salsa? I hear that it is great for clearing the mind...

[????]

Get yourself a nice big drink and all will seem a bit better

[dulwichmum]

Indeed darling, let me pour it for you... Vodka? In a pint glass?

[macroban]

dulwichmum has lost her touch. Again.

[dulwichdoll]

Out of touch more like or in bubble wrap perhaps.

[Marmora Man]

DD - you have described very thoroughly the excesses of big government - which has long been Labour's and New Labour's failing.

I have long championed small government (ie minimal interference and red tape), low taxes (so the average man / woman can choose how to spend their money rather than the government) and strong defence (so we can protect Britain's interests when they are threatened). This current government, and even more so Brown's version of it, is the compete antithesis of my desires.

We must vote them out at the earliest opportunity.

[SeanMacGabhann]

And again I have to ask - where on the planet is this vision of small government working?

The OP spent rather more time complaining about his lot and lazy staff than "big government". Prices are rising everywhere and it has rather more to do with global events than it does this government (which sounds like I'm pro this government, when I'm not - but fairs fair)

[dulwichdoll]

I wonder if Dulwichmum would like to add her analysis of alternative governmental systems globally? Maybe not. But both of the last two posts have a point.

[Jeremy]

I am all for minimal interference and red tape. But I can't say I necessarily agree with tax cuts - unless there are cutbacks in defence and bureaucracy, therefore maintaining spending in education, healthcare, public services, infrastructure, welfare, etc. But I don't see it adding up, not in this country.

Anyway... don't wish to hijack the original thread with politics. I do have sympathy for your plight dulwichdoll, but basically telling a staff member "if you don't like it, you know where the door is"... well, that's kind of asking for trouble. Also, how will your employees feel if they read this, and you are calling them "lazy little shits" and the like? You could have another similar case on your hands.

And one suggestion... instead of paying for new wine glasses, why not get the bar staff to pour it using a measure?

[charliecharlie]

Dulwichdoll... you are going through truly tough times, thank you for sharing it with us. A hard story to tell and a hard story to read, especially as it is, no doubt, just one of thousands of similar stories from small businesses across the UK. And, of course, there will be more to come... Hard to be sure that there is 'light at the end of the tunnel' in the current 'recession' (amazing how much resistance there has been to using this word) or should we now be calling it 'collapse'???

[hislordship]

Would it not be great if you could just wash the cooking oil down the sink, throw light bulbs and batteries in the trash and onwards to a landfill in Wales - hey, why not even just dump it all in Peckham, which is, after all, a toilet?

I sympathize on some of the points you raise - it must be very frustrating. But you you sound like you resent dealing with batteries properly - most people would chuck them if allowed. Sadly, it takes stiff regulation and a nanny to make us behave.

[giggirl]

Marmora Man Wrote:

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This current government, and even more so Brown's version of

> it, is the compete antithesis of my desires.

>

> We must vote them out at the earliest opportunity.

Voting this government out is the easy bit. Who do we vote in?

[Jeremy]

Take a wild guess...

[david_carnell]

An excellent article from today's Guardian, that is close to my own beliefs on these matters and more eloquent than I could be.

How Britain Lost Its Way

All of a sudden the "flawed" Gallic model looks oh-so appealing.

[karter]

Hey DD, well done for sharing. So we are now officially in a recession. Catering outlets in the city have seen a drop in turnover as you too have confirmed. I was having a drink in the cherry the other day with a manager of a top city restaurant, they certainly have noticed a drop. Their function room remains empty this year. I wouldn't say it's a collapse just yet though to answer charliecharlie. I would say stay competitive look at your costs and stay varied to keep those punters coming back.

[lozzyloz]

DD have you tried launching a credit crunch loss leader on drinks or food to pull in punters?

[karter]

lozzyloz Wrote:

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> DD have you tried launching a credit crunch loss

> leader on drinks or food to pull in punters?

Good idea lozzy, that would certainly pull punters in, you still owe me a loss leading cappuccino. :p

[Jeremy]

Maybe time to start offering more simple snacks at a cheaper price to get punters through the door!

[SeanMacGabhann]

some of us always did

[david_carnell]

That's Gallic not Gaelic, my Irish friend.

[SeanMacGabhann]

oh don't get me wrong - the Gaelic model is in appalling shape

But I have always had a thing for your more european Franco-Germanic models

[Brendan]

I prefer the poise of Mediterraneans but each to their own.

[Ted Max]

Oooh, we're fat, stabbing each other, eat shit, racist, fat, greedy, amoral, broke and we had it coming.

Give it to us Johnny Frog, we love it, thrash us with your centrally controlled economic virtues and happy racial situation. Nothing beats a spanking on the bare bottom by those French maitres, does it?

[Brendan]

Juxtaposing ones failing against those of your critics does not absolve one of them.