Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I went swimming the other day and caught a female fellow swimmer giving me the eye. I checked to make sure nothing was hanging out or that there were no other reasons for her attention, but all was tucked in. I caught her glancing a few more times, but in the end I swam my lengths, got out and went home. I would have taken the opportunity to chat her up but a swimming pool felt like the wrong place to do this. Maybe the 'no petting' warning on the swimming pool walls of my youth have left their mark, though I guess I could be getting a little ahead of myself on that.

Hmmm


Jimmy I can see your problem here, but you could have said to her that you need a Tea/Coffee/Bovril and Packet of Crisps after a swim and did she care to join you?


At which point she may well have told you that your ultra tight white speedos are see through when wet (ultimate put down from my youth) but at least you had tried


Luv

Sadly - the only one I can think of for you Jeremy is


"Do you fancy getting your lips around something really meaty (mid length pause) like a cup of Bovril"


Tillie - I am worried about you, to do that implies it is 'nude night' at the baths....



Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Well at least you now have an incentive to go

> swimming more often. Definitely ask her if she

> fancies a bovril next time, or a game of Double

> Dragon.

>

> Trying to think of an amusing bovril-based

> innuendo...

LuvPeckham Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Sadly - the only one I can think of for you Jeremy

> is

>

> "Do you fancy getting your lips around something

> really meaty (mid length pause) like a cup of

> Bovril"

>


Ha ha! That was good Peckham.

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LuvPeckham Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Sadly - the only one I can think of for you

> Jeremy

> > is

> >

> > "Do you fancy getting your lips around

> something

> > really meaty (mid length pause) like a cup of

> > Bovril"

> >

>

> Ha ha! That was good Peckham.



Sid the Sexist taught me all I know !!!

Hmmm


If you are looking for examples


How about the policewoman arresting you at the time.... for some reason it doesn't seem get you a better cell for the night


Or your best mate whilst you are comforting her, after she has just split up from her boyfriend of 6 years


Or your girlfriends best mate whilst your girlfriend is asleep in bed in the next room



No Idea why but the last two just failed to get me anywhere !!!

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • We are the only specialist floor insulation company on the market to focus on insulating from below – meaning almost zero mess, disruption or noise! Warmdwell is extremely proud to receive the highest reviews for our professionalism, reliability, commitment and the all-round ease of doing business with us: we draw our team from professional, creative, educated backgrounds to provide a friendly, problem-solving team with the deepest integrity. We take real care of your home and aim to leave it as spotless as possible. Please check our Google Reviews to speak for us: "We were really pleased with their quote, communication, and with having the job done perfectly with almost zero disruption. We think they left the space cleaner than when they arrived, and we are definitely already getting the effects of a warmer room" – Miriam & Abed, Sevenoaks, Oct 2025 "Laurence and his team were extremely polite & helpful, and the work was performed over just 2 days with minimal disruption. It was absolutely the most relaxed work I have ever had performed on the house!" – Alistair, Cambridge, July 2025 "Extremely friendly, polite and efficient" – Diane, Forest Hill, June 2025 We are always keen to chat through your floor insulation options and provide as much free advice as we can, as well as free quotes and surveys – so why not ask us today about what is possible to protect your floors from the cold ventilation air blowing underneath, keep your heat in and warm up your home? We use high-performance mineral wool slabs, never foam, for so many reasons: it is the ideal flexible material for the irregularities of old floors; is breathable, working with the way your floor has successfully performed for perhaps 100 years or more; can easily be removed to access pipes and cables; and is completely non-combustible. A local business based in Crystal Palace, we work extensively around Dulwich, Herne Hill, Forest Hill, Lewisham, Tooting, Balham and across the south East of England. Please ask us about your floor insulation options or for local project case studies today! Phone Number: 02080792793 Email Address: [email protected] Website: https://warmdwell.co.uk/ View full listing
    • I would recommend the Dulwich Test and Service centre that used to be in Hindemanns road and then moved to the little Trading Estate off Tyrrel Road. I've used them very happily for nearly 40 years. Paul and Reg Shires. 
    • Such a shame as Dells is fantastic - a decent local business providing a great service to residents.
    • Ha ha that's hilarious - how wonderfully embarrassing for Reform!
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...