Our cat - the Merciless Killer of Doom

[*Bob*]

Our cat is a merciless killer. Her sadistic pleasures know no bounds. Many have succumbed to her evil clutches.

I'm new to cats.

The mice thing is great. Not particularly happy about the bird. The frog was a particularly low point.

What's the done thing to do? Get a bell for the cat and poison the mice?

Leave her to her evil sport, with a shrug whilst mumbling something about instinct and nature blah blah?

(no twaddle about humane traps or sonic repellers please)

[daizie]

my yorkshire ( norfolk/australian, maybe) terrier, has killed mice, a bird, and a few toads , apparently it IS instinct/nature, not sure what to suggest :-S

[Ted Max]

I hope you find your cat soon, *Bob*. Have you considered clubbing her feet?

[????]

Is your cat any good with Foxes? If so, can I borrow it?

[Asset]

mice fine, birds not so good although cats don't often get them. Try a bell.

frogs make a hell of a noise though don't they? I usually try and rescue them from the cats' evil clutches.

[*Bob*]

The other down-side with a bell is that, being a notoriously light sleeper, I'll get continually awoken by jingling.

I mean, I like birds and all that, but given the choice between a world with birds but no sleep, or no birds and sleep, the birds can shove it up their beaks.

[bigbadwolf]

*Bob* I feel for you.....no I really do.

In light of your cats campaign of terror against the local wildlife coupled with your lilly livered self may I make a small suggestion.

Dictate the entire works of Sun Tzu's 'The art of war' onto a cassette or similar delivery system and play it to your cat whilst it's locked in your green house.

I'll even share the film rights with you.

[red devil]

I'm plagued by cats, so following the nature/instinct mantra, I'll be investing in a cat chasing pooch...

http://wildernessstar.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/mean-dog.jpg

[bigbadwolf]

See that *Bob* all your worries can be solved by buying an SS guard dog.

[*Bob*]

That would certainly go well with my Nazi memorabilia.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Bastard cats. I spent half an hour this morning coaxing a frog in the kitchen onto a sheet of plastic while holding a bowl over it - I was too squeamish to pick it up.

[*Bob*]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> Bastard cats. I spent half an hour this morning

> coaxing a frog in the kitchen onto a sheet of

> plastic while holding a bowl over it - I was too

> squeamish to pick it up.

What you do with frogs in your own free time is up to you.. but I can't see what this has to do with cats?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Silly *Bob*. The little minx brought it in of course.

[Moos]

Our cat only ever brings in dead frogs, which is less of a problem.

Those of you that don't live within cat-hunting distance of the wildlife garden won't have this problem, of course.

[*Bob*]

Where is 'the wildlife garden'?

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The *Bob* That Bleated

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Two streets behind my house! Pretty gruesome when cat has obviously carried him by his head - one eye down.

[Moos]

It's near Ted's house, PGC's house and my house, do keep up *Bob*. Do you need some coffee, or something? I think there may be some left in the Quiet Room, although God knows what Muley will have done to it by now.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Beware the 'demerera' sugar bowl, Moos, I'm sure I detected nutmeg shavings.

[Muley]

Moos, don't you drag me into this, with your cross-thread postings, cast-iron constitution and haunted marmelade...

Bob, organise an underground clown/cat fight and get yourself a piece of the betting action- ker-ching!

[Brendan]

If you wanted all the hassle with noise and hunting animals why didn?t you just have a son? I believe you get tax credits for them.

[*Bob*]

Brendan Wrote:

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> If you wanted all the hassle with noise and

> hunting animals why didn?t you just have a son? I

> believe you get tax credits for them.

We've got one of those already, Brendan - and it's paying-off nicely, which is great. We're nearly at the top of the council house list too, so soon we can retire and live off benefits.

The kid hunts the cat, to be fair, so it's not lke Puss has it all her own way.

[hellosailor]

My cat used to bring in frogs on a daily basis - and I agree the screaming noise the frogs make is horrendous. In my experience a frog can be rescued from the jaws or paws of a cat and hop away (with your help) relatively unscarred, even if the cat has been 'playing with them' for quite a long time.

Sometimes I successfully rescued birds which seemed unscathed and flew away, so I think it's worth intervening. It's totally natural for cats to prey on these animals but I think if it isn't too late to intervene then it's good to have a bash at saving the victim..

[HonaloochieB]

Eeh my pussy wouldn't have no truck with frogs. Over my dead body.

Molly Sugden

Beyond The Vale.

[legalbeagle]

Bob - I was once told by a vet that cats bring dead things back to the house because they are providing food for their family. The theory then goes that if you feed the cat at the same time that the family is eating, so that the cat sees its family has had food, it is less likely to feel the need to bring stuff back for them to eat.

I have never tested this theory, and frankly it sounds a bit psycho-babble to me, but that's what I was told!

[*Bob*]

I wouldn't rule anything out.

However, I'm beginning to suspect that our cat, and possibly all cats, might actually just be intrinsically evil.

Satan with fur.