Jump to content

Love response won't be weak

Ted Max

By Ted Max
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

Moos

Moos

Posted
Posted

I get loads of invitations to improve my love organ - here's a selection received in July, and I promise I'm not making any of these up:-


Three girls? Or 4? It is not a limit for a man with a pack of this male vitamin.

If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument. (eh?)

Feeling useless worthless in bedroom? We can change it to opposite feeling. (ahhhhhhhh)

This really works ask lots of happy owners of big penises.

- I'm sure you'll agree that was not such a good one, but the text in the email is fantastic "Did you notice that arrogant look on some men?s faces but couldn?t understand where it was coming from? Well, we will open you the secret ? that is the big monster in his pants and you can have one like that very easily"

And slightly more bizarrely:

Stars' twats in focus


I think the filter will take out the second word of the last email title, but rest assured that it wasn't spats or cats.


For those of you thinking, Oh I thought Moos was a woman, I am. But using the miracle of internet technology, I too can have a big monster in my pants. Hoo-rah.

KalamityKel

KalamityKel

Posted
Posted

Ok I had to open previously mentioned email (twas from a subscribed source - no not of THAT kind - afterall)...


"Have you found the standard methods of meeting men are becoming rather stale, not to mention fruitless? Why not ditch those tired techniques and explore new ways of finding true love"


HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

gugs69

gugs69

Posted
Posted

I receive a few of these literary masterpieces every day, have to admit some of them make me snigger!


Here's a selection of goodies from the last week:


Every woman will appreciate the big pleasure you give them inch by inch

Girls will drop underwear for you

Be a carnal maniac!

Good shells for your love-gun!

Your tremendous weapon will always be on her mind

If you want to upgrade your masculinity, start from your penis size

Make your rod amazingly huge

From now you will be able to please every size-queen


And one of my favourites arrived this morning, the text is brilliant:


Hello handsome man!!!

How are you doing? I have in a random way found your profile, he has very much liked me, and I have decided to write you the letter. With my letter I apply my photo. I hope to you to like it! I search for serious relations and possibility to create a family. I hope, you too search for the woman for creation of serious relations. I will wait your letter with the big impatience.

Tell to me about itself. I hope I will like you ?

I look forward to hearing to my small letter, yours new friend Tasha.

  • 3 weeks later...
mockney piers

mockney piers

Posted
Posted

"You may be entitled to 6000 pounds compensation for the Accident you had. To claim for free reply with YES to this msg. To opt out text stop. JLXA"


has anyone else been inundated with phone spam since that mobile directory came out?

I understand email spam be as it's free, this

must cost spammers a fortune meaning people must be a reet gullible bunch for it to be financially viable.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
  • Advertise Here

  • Latest Discussions

    • Enable
      Anyone found small purple earring?

      By Enable · Posted

      Lost morning of 5th November between Archdale Road  and Denmark Hill station via Lordship Lane.
    • thfc2001
      All go on Lordship Lane..

      By thfc2001 · Posted

      Was planning to come on here to ask if anyone might know which celeb/royal came through Lordship Lane yesterday - was on my way up to Spurs, on bus at the roundabout by the EDT when some whistling police cyclists pulled the traffic to the side of the road to allow a biggish range rover to shoot past, on the way up towards Dog Kennel Hill. Could only make out two, maybe middle-aged, men in the front before it passed. Mildly hysterical lady on pavement was laughing/screeching with her friend that they were desperately trying to find out who it was. Had more reason to post after this lunchtime's experience. Had just got to bus stop opposite the M&S by the station when some mini cooper thing bombed through the traffic, swerving across to cut up another car to get up the hill, before two or three police cars followed about 20 seconds behind. Said mini cooper thing then reappeared coming the other way, beeping its horn to get other cars out the way before it bombed up what I think was Elsie Road, with police cars now on both sides of the road by Maxin trying to stop traffic getting in the way/half the speeding car. Bit more than I had bargained for when I set out/want in local area! Stay careful out there folks, this place is getting scarier...
    • ctovey
      Is the Choumert Road bus stop open yet following the ending of pavement works. Thanks

      By ctovey · Posted

      The stop outside the chippy was still closed earlier today, although the barriers I saw yesterday have been removed, so no need for the closure.  The stop outside the church across the road is now uncovered and open
    • CPR Dave
      Advice on dealing with a solicitor who will not use modern means of communication

      By CPR Dave · Posted

      You all have different and conflicting interests though. It isn't necessarily appropriate for him to communicate with all of you at the same time about the same issues.    You're giving more away with each post as to how these difficulties probably arose. 

East Dulwich Forum

Established in 2006, we are an online community discussion forum for people who live, work in and visit SE22.

Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...