Love response won't be weak

[Ted Max]

A thread to record the best spam email subject lines. The above is one I got through this morning.

And just now I had, "Your banana will raise!"

Any others?

[Ted Max]

"Repair your passion motor"

[Ted Max]

"Your manhood is important to her"

Do you think they have a team of people sitting round thinking these up? I like to think so.

[KalamityKel]

Thought you mind find this amusing :p

[Keef]

Thread here that I started last year because I got one with the Subject line

Win ?500 vouchers to spend in Primark!

I'm just not sure anyone could spend ?500 in Primark!

[KalamityKel]

oooo great minds

[Keef]

Great minds Kel.

[Keef]

Spooky!!!

[KalamityKel]

stop it! :p

[mockney piers]

I'm tempted to rename this thread 'proof of collective unconscious discovered'

cooool!!!

[Peckwich]

Those three 5:00pm posts made me chuckle.

[Peckwich]

A quick check of my junk mail box reveals:

'Perm.Peni1eGrowth`

Not very creative.

[Peckwich]

Sounds painfull too.

[bigbadwolf]

The only spam I get is people offering me payday loans.

[HonaloochieB]

"Your knob's all well and good, but being a baldy-slaphead you won't get any action to speak of. Cotact us NOW for more details. Plenty details"

Admiring the chutzpah I filled in the form.

I'll let you know. Perhaps.

[KalamityKel]

"unusual places to meet men"

!!!!OMG!!!!

[Moos]

I get loads of invitations to improve my love organ - here's a selection received in July, and I promise I'm not making any of these up:-

Three girls? Or 4? It is not a limit for a man with a pack of this male vitamin.

If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument. (eh?)

Feeling useless worthless in bedroom? We can change it to opposite feeling. (ahhhhhhhh)

This really works ask lots of happy owners of big penises.

- I'm sure you'll agree that was not such a good one, but the text in the email is fantastic "Did you notice that arrogant look on some men?s faces but couldn?t understand where it was coming from? Well, we will open you the secret ? that is the big monster in his pants and you can have one like that very easily"

And slightly more bizarrely:

Stars' twats in focus

I think the filter will take out the second word of the last email title, but rest assured that it wasn't spats or cats.

For those of you thinking, Oh I thought Moos was a woman, I am. But using the miracle of internet technology, I too can have a big monster in my pants. Hoo-rah.

[KalamityKel]

Ok I had to open previously mentioned email (twas from a subscribed source - no not of THAT kind - afterall)...

"Have you found the standard methods of meeting men are becoming rather stale, not to mention fruitless? Why not ditch those tired techniques and explore new ways of finding true love"

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

[gugs69]

I receive a few of these literary masterpieces every day, have to admit some of them make me snigger!

Here's a selection of goodies from the last week:

Every woman will appreciate the big pleasure you give them inch by inch

Girls will drop underwear for you

Be a carnal maniac!

Good shells for your love-gun!

Your tremendous weapon will always be on her mind

If you want to upgrade your masculinity, start from your penis size

Make your rod amazingly huge

From now you will be able to please every size-queen

And one of my favourites arrived this morning, the text is brilliant:

Hello handsome man!!!

How are you doing? I have in a random way found your profile, he has very much liked me, and I have decided to write you the letter. With my letter I apply my photo. I hope to you to like it! I search for serious relations and possibility to create a family. I hope, you too search for the woman for creation of serious relations. I will wait your letter with the big impatience.

Tell to me about itself. I hope I will like you ?

I look forward to hearing to my small letter, yours new friend Tasha.

[jaybee82]

I got one that said 'Faulty Love Eggs? Read on...'

[jaybee82]

but looking back a while I found this gem!

'Harness full penis pontential (thats right, pontential) with BS plastic love pump and keep her begging'

Good that they've taken the trouble to get it tested to BS Standard!

[jaybee82]

This has taken off around the office! A colleague got this:

"Dr Kyle Babcock advises that your wife does not admire to had jazzed it with you for reason of of your jang size.?

Another got:

"RE: Penelope and fungus" (Its the adventures of...)

[sophiesofa]

"Until at last the king commanded" that's the one i just got. I think it's going for discerning types?

[OutOfFocus]

I like it false positives -.eg I am on a mailing list for software patches. These are often marked as spam

[mockney piers]

"You may be entitled to 6000 pounds compensation for the Accident you had. To claim for free reply with YES to this msg. To opt out text stop. JLXA"

has anyone else been inundated with phone spam since that mobile directory came out?

I understand email spam be as it's free, this

must cost spammers a fortune meaning people must be a reet gullible bunch for it to be financially viable.