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I get loads of invitations to improve my love organ - here's a selection received in July, and I promise I'm not making any of these up:-


Three girls? Or 4? It is not a limit for a man with a pack of this male vitamin.

If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument. (eh?)

Feeling useless worthless in bedroom? We can change it to opposite feeling. (ahhhhhhhh)

This really works ask lots of happy owners of big penises.

- I'm sure you'll agree that was not such a good one, but the text in the email is fantastic "Did you notice that arrogant look on some men?s faces but couldn?t understand where it was coming from? Well, we will open you the secret ? that is the big monster in his pants and you can have one like that very easily"

And slightly more bizarrely:

Stars' twats in focus


I think the filter will take out the second word of the last email title, but rest assured that it wasn't spats or cats.


For those of you thinking, Oh I thought Moos was a woman, I am. But using the miracle of internet technology, I too can have a big monster in my pants. Hoo-rah.

Ok I had to open previously mentioned email (twas from a subscribed source - no not of THAT kind - afterall)...


"Have you found the standard methods of meeting men are becoming rather stale, not to mention fruitless? Why not ditch those tired techniques and explore new ways of finding true love"


HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

I receive a few of these literary masterpieces every day, have to admit some of them make me snigger!


Here's a selection of goodies from the last week:


Every woman will appreciate the big pleasure you give them inch by inch

Girls will drop underwear for you

Be a carnal maniac!

Good shells for your love-gun!

Your tremendous weapon will always be on her mind

If you want to upgrade your masculinity, start from your penis size

Make your rod amazingly huge

From now you will be able to please every size-queen


And one of my favourites arrived this morning, the text is brilliant:


Hello handsome man!!!

How are you doing? I have in a random way found your profile, he has very much liked me, and I have decided to write you the letter. With my letter I apply my photo. I hope to you to like it! I search for serious relations and possibility to create a family. I hope, you too search for the woman for creation of serious relations. I will wait your letter with the big impatience.

Tell to me about itself. I hope I will like you ?

I look forward to hearing to my small letter, yours new friend Tasha.

  • 3 weeks later...

"You may be entitled to 6000 pounds compensation for the Accident you had. To claim for free reply with YES to this msg. To opt out text stop. JLXA"


has anyone else been inundated with phone spam since that mobile directory came out?

I understand email spam be as it's free, this

must cost spammers a fortune meaning people must be a reet gullible bunch for it to be financially viable.

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