Trapped in lift with a 'Celebrity' Chef?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

You wait til Ted gets hold of 48 quails ...

[Nero]

Hello *

I think Worrall would be the worst option.

He looks like he smells a bit.(#)

Also, I can imagine strands of gammon sticking in between his teeth and flakes of egg yolk adhering to his beard, in a warped take on lamb's wool on a briar. Alround grubby, if you ahsk me.

(#) My mate Peter's stepdad always used to say that Anthea Redfern looked like she would really pong of BO. He was quite adamant about it and would let his family know this often.

[woofmarkthedog]

Gary Rhodes.....errrrghh

I used to love Masterchef with Lloyd Grossman " Lets see what's going on in the pistachio green corner of the kitchen" and all that, but as soon as that smarmy arse Gary Rhodes got involved I really wanted to brand him with a heated knife each bloody week & pull his stupid "Tate & Lyled" hair through a pasta making machine whilst rubbing cayenne pepper into his eyes the bast*rd.

"Oh ...Ahem...what came over me"

* smoothes down hair & unscrunches fists*

I once did some work on Franc Roddams kitchen which was great fun, he told me he made more money from Masterchef than he ever did from directing Quadrophenia which tickled me.

As for the twits now on there, I just can't bear more than 10 torturous minutes with out kicking the set.

Lastly is that Micheal Roux on board now ? he looks like one of the Babyshambles ...........Sheeeez

W**F

[*Bob*]

I'm with you on Rhodes on the whole - but he has at least provided us with some television gold, in the form of his toe-curling performance on Strictly.

Wozza has given us nothing - save perhaps the occasional orange pube in the sorbet.

[Asset]

What about that geezer who does Saturday Morning Kitchen ahahahahahahaha. What a ding. Not sure if he's even a cook and he tucks his shirt in.

[daizie]

(#) My mate Peter's stepdad always used to say that Anthea Redfern looked like she would really pong of BO. He was quite adamant about it and would let his family know this often.

My dad used to say something very similar about Chrissy Hynde and fag butts ..

[woofmarkthedog]

daizie Wrote:

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> (#) My mate Peter's stepdad always used to say

> that Anthea Redfern looked like she would really

> pong of BO. He was quite adamant about it and

> would let his family know this often.

>

> My dad used to say something very similar about

> Chrissy Hynde and fag butts ..

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Ol' lolly pop head Victoria Beckham must have breath that smells of farts ! All skinny ketosis girls like her do.

Meow.....I mean W**F

[Ted Max]

Speechless.

 

[bigbadwolf]

There's no need to lie to us Teddy. We all know you wrote, sung and shamelessly promoted it.

You're just bitter that the dragons wouldn't back you.

[giggirl]

I would like to be stuck in a lift with George Clooney. I'm sure he must cook some time so he qualifies.

[*Bob*]

Ted Max Wrote:

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> Speechless.

Aw c'mon Ted, it could have been worse. He could have blacked-up for it.

[Jeremy]

Asset Wrote:

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> What about that geezer who does Saturday Morning

> Kitchen ahahahahahahaha. What a ding. Not sure

> if he's even a cook and he tucks his shirt in.

Good call. James Martin... an A grade tosser.

I read today that he writes a column in the mail, in which he recently bragged about forcing a group of cyclists into a hedge.

[SeanMacGabhann]

but the grannies love him!

[SeanMacGabhann]

But if I had to be trapped in a lift with a chef, I'm choosing Anthony Bourdain. Ocassionally obnoxious but willing to hold his hands up, plus some great stories

[*Bob*]

Jeremy Wrote:

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> I read today that he writes a column in the mail,

> in which he recently bragged about forcing a group

> of cyclists into a hedge.

Urgh.. and then what did he do with them?

[Ted Max]

Early on in the recent wave of TV chefdom - say early to mid 1990s? - there was a grumpy bloke called Kevin who never seemed to grasp that you had to at least pretend to be likeable, and to like other people. He had a programme called "Can't Coook, Woern't Coook" in which his exasperation with the bovine contestants was outshone only by the naked flame of his ambition.

I'm sure he had some early gigs on Ready Steady Cook, as well, probably in a dream duo of grumpiness with the enormous, yet strangely preening, Brian Turner. No doubt Fern had him shipped off to some cruise ship to cook paella for the rest of his life for retired policemen from Braintree.

This made room on the programme for Fern's husband (a small reedy man called Phil), Ross Somebody who looked like a down-on-his-luck Riviera gigolo, and, of course, Ainsley himself.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Simon Rimmer is decent enough as well. For a Liverpool fan

[Ted Max]

Kevin Woodford - in standard "contract assassin" pose.

http://uktv.co.uk/images/standarditem/L1/530682_L1.jpg

Ross Burden - possibly doing him a dis-service with the gigolo remark. Second lead in BBC soap Eldorado, perhaps.

http://www.ownersperspective.com/images/reviews/rossburden1.jpg

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Jean Christophe would do me.

[Jeremy]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> Jean Christophe would do me.

Really? Have you asked him?

[Muley]

Whereas Marco Pierre White would probably do you in...

[Ted Max]

A Brian Turner lookalike. Ye Gods. He's not bad - he's even trapped the look of mournful missed opportunity, the sense of being born a decade too early. Like those ex-footballers forced to carve out a living commentating on their vastly inferior but vastly more wealthy successors.

http://www.fakefaces.co.uk/images/lookalikes/fullsize/54-1163.jpg

[bigbadwolf]

I think judging by the Ross Burden, soft lighting picture you've provided us with Ted, he'd be more at home on the cast of Sunset Beach or The Bold And The Beuatiful.

Don't you?

[bigbadwolf]

"A Brian Turner lookalike. Ye Gods. He's not bad - he's even trapped the look of mournful missed opportunity, the sense of being born a decade too early. Like those ex-footballers forced to carve out a living commentating on their vastly inferio but vastly more wealthy successors."

He looks like Rene from 'Allo Allo'. A bit.

http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/images/reviews/190/1168903970.jpg

[Ted Max]

Anyone got any other pics of men with moustaches?