How much to spend on a wedding gift???

[dbboy]

Oh the joys of weedings, seriously as an uncle I've got one to go to in January as well, smack bang in the middle of nowhere.

[daizie]

there is usually so much underlying resentment at weddings i fail to see the romance

[Brendan]

Really? Or is that just you daze?

[????]

A wedding, when you're single, is a gift from god. If you can't pull at a wedding, well, you may as well give up.

[bubblensqueek]

i have done it. they'll enjoy it. bottom line.

[*Bob*]

Your name will be MUD.

The best man will have a section in his speech where the lights go down and a spotlight hovers over you whilst those guests decent enough to spend the standard amount? give you a slow hand clap and chant "shame on you" repeatedly.

[bubblensqueek]

huh??

[Narnia]

dbboy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh the joys of weedings, seriously as an uncle

> I've got one to go to in January as well, smack

> bang in the middle of nowhere.

I think you'll find weedings are quite inexpensive where ever you are! My boy was invited to a kids birthday party some years ago, it was an overnight stay. I was amazed and not too impressed to find that the boy's mother had them all weeding the following day. Bit like washing the dishes if you can't pay for your meal I suppose. Maybe the present he brought wasn't good enough.......

[Sue]

Yeh and it's very therapeutic, weeding

[Mick Mac]

well done sue. I thought declan had killed that thread.

To get back on topic i an surprised at the lack of will to buy a nice wedding present. Its maybe the only time you will buy that person a present and they are themselves spending a lot of money on the day.

[Pickle]

I've got no problems spending money on wedding presents, or with wedding lists (figure at least you know they want the item you're buying them), but have a BIG problem with wedding lists where ?50 buys you one side plate! Had "friends" who got married a few years ago, the cheapest item on their list was ?75.

[*Bob*]

The 'wedding list' is a throwback to an age gone-by when couples were usually setting-up home together for the first time and actually 'needed' useful and practical stuff because they didn't have it and could afford to buy it all, especially after laying-on the wedding. It was a good thing to do.

Now it's just an excuse for people to wander through a department store with a clipboard and pen, like Michael Jackson in Harrods, ticking things off, like spoilt children who've been given a blank cheque.

Practical items do not include a bumper-edition Sopranos box set, a Satnav or a LCD television for the bedroom.

It's totally impersonal and actually a wee bit depressing.

Whether or not you've spent a fortune on the wedding is neither here nor there. It's your wedding. You chose it. You could have had it down the Reg office and then back to the pub if you wanted, but if you simply must have every chair in some tiresome conference centre adorned with a peach bow, then that's your lookout.

[????]

You old romantic *Bob*...I will.

Edited; what's a romatic?

[Moos]

I dunno, *Bob*. Many people are glad to be given guidance on getting something that you actually do want. I agree completely with Pickle about keeping prices reasonable though.

We had a wedding list but a number of our friends decided that wedding lists are boring and bought us presents offlist. Fair enough, but we were given the silver candlesticks that we had chosen on our list from one set of friends, some more silver candlesticks that were not on the list, some wooden candlesticks that were not on the list and 3 fruitbowls, none of which were on the list because we already have a fruitbowl. Most of these offlist friends had been very generous and got us something that they thought we would really like, and it's embarrassing and a bit sad secretly to be wishing that they hadn't.

[*Bob*]

There's nothing romantic about emailing a list of 200 items which can be bought from John Lewis, listed in order of price and sent with a photocopied covering letter.

You might as well just dispense with the charade of 'buying a gift' and just charge on the door instead.

[Moos]

Only if you insist on getting a gift!

[*Bob*]

Should "Mrs" *Bob* and I be unfortunate enough to be required (due to a current imbalance in UK tax law which favours wedded couples etc etc) then I quite like the idea of 'bring a bottle'.

It's honest, practical and has a certain charm that you just won't get from receiving a Magimix from Argos Home Delivery that isn't even wrapped.

[Brendan]

Did they find it boring or offensive Moos?

We specifically asked that people didn?t bring gifts but they conspired against us and all put money together that we were told to use towards our honeymoon.

Which was kinda nice considering we paid for their knees up out of our own pockets whereas most of our friends who were there have parents who paid for their weddings and honeymoons, bequeathed them deposits for their first homes etc. etc.

Arseholes!

Not that I?m a jealous, biter little man or anything.

[Mick Mac]

I used to be completely averse to the wedding list idea (20 years ago) until a friend of mine - who chose not to have a list - showed me a cupboard full of sheets, irons, saucepans etc that he had received as wedding presents and did not need.

Often people already have the basics, but that, *bob*, does not get you off the hook in buying them a present.

Surely most wedding lists have the option of buying vouchers and the couple can then combine them with others to buy something they need.

We received a number of cheques, that just said "to spend as you wish" - people just want to help you get something you want or need - mostly they don't mind if all that you need is a widescreed tv.

[*Bob*]

I didn't realise I was 'on a hook', Mick.

I thought I was going to a party.

..and.. "Vouchers". Jeez.

[Ted Max]

When you get married, *Bob*, I shall buy you a rug. If the claret at the wake is a decent vintage I'll make sure it's a square one.

[*Bob*]

I've changed my mind.

New drafts for the front of our wedding invitations will now be feature a picture of a 16th century church in Rutland, with a sort code and account number underneath.

[Mick Mac]

I'm sure *Bob*, you would find it in your heart to buy this couple a decent present....

Russian Bride

[????]

As a compromise how about when you've bought the wedding gift the sum spent gets credited on a credit card that can then be used to purchase food and beverages on the big day before you have to switch to cash?

[LordshipLovely]

Monetarily, ?50 per guest seems about the going rate at the moment (wedding number 5 this year tomorrow). More if you're direct family etc.

Wedding lists/honeymoon funds certainly make life easier and help out people who have absolutely no imagination (like me), however there is definitely nowhere to hide when it comes to finding out how generous you are.