teenage girls bedrooms

[sillywoman]

Teenage daughters bedroom is worse than a pit - it's a swamp. Mr S takes this as a personal affront. A sign that she has no manners, morals, respect etc.etc. - in essence that we've failed. I have a more laid back approach, in part I think because I was a teenage girl and have a vague recollection that my room looked very similar. I think it's a 'learning stage' & have faith that she'll emerge as a functioning tidyish person. Who is right? Is daughter normal?

[Pickle]

My mother used to despair at the state of my room... she was (in my teenage words) a "clean freak", and I fully admit that my room was a disgrace. These days I (in my husband's words) am a "clean freak", and my Mum laughs at me always stressing about winning the battle against the kid's mess. Apparently the fact that I feel compelled to iron muslins makes me even worse than my Mum was.

So don't worry, chances are she'll emerge as a lovely clean and tidy adult!

[Moos]

Pickle, you iron muslins?!

I thought I was quite clean and tidy (though was also a slobby teenager and young woman) but Pickle puts me to shame.

[Ann]

Sillywoman I have the exact same problem, my daughter goes for the 'scatter effect'. My attempts to tidy up are futile as the room reverts to norm almost instantly I can only hope like you that she will change in time.

On a brighter note her standard of personal hygiene is high and she likes clean laundry; she just had no qualms about dirty laundry lying all around!

[sillywoman]

yeah, what is that about? SHe had a laundry basket, but mostly uses it to store her school bag in! When she remembers to take it upstairs from the hallway that is grrrrrrr.

[Clazza]

I frequently had my mum say your room is a tip. General mess, never filth as liked me to be clean, but stuff all over. As soon as I moved out to go to Uni, have been tidy from then on. Guess as soon as you know friends will judge you then things get better!

[Ann]

I hope so Clazza, I hope so.

[KalamityKel]

I used to use the excuse "it's a creative mess and therefore excusable". My parents gave up especially as my brothers room was even worse. These days it's not so bad... I've just taken it to work... No seriously I'm sure she'll grow out of it... soon!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

At least one saves on the wear and tear of carpet.

[lorraineliyanage]

My teenage bedroom was a mess and I still live in chaos, so nothing's really changed!

[TillieTrotter]

My daughter was incredibly messy, you couldn't see the carpet for dirty clothes. I visited her in her new uni house a week or so ago......it was spotless and she keeps her housemates on their toes re; cleaning. I was amazed, peeved but ultimately delighted that I hadn't been a complete failure.

[gwod]

When I was growing up and my room was nasty my parents did not hassle me about the mess but did insist that I always close the door so that they did not have to look at it.

No more arguments and a fast lesson in the cause and effect of mess - Genius!

[SianandTony]

thats a good approach gwod. i remember my parents going mental at me about my room and it was pretty gross looking back. now ive gone the other way and am probably cleaner than my folks house!

[Smiler]

My brother's room was a pit, and there were years and years of arguments and parental stress about it. Reckon best to shut the door as gwod suggests - peer pressure likely to sort it out at some point, though it may take years!

A friend's parents decided that her room could be in whatever state she wanted, but that they wouldn't pick up any washing / crockery etc. that was in there, or hoover / dust / change sheets - left it all to her.

[Carrie]

I was so messy as a teenager that when I was at university in hall I popped to the bathroom and left my bedroom door open, I was not gone long but found that someone had called security whilst I was gone to report that my room had been burgled because there was stuff everywhere! I was too embarrassed to admit that was how I lived normally so just reassured everyone that nothing had been stolen!!

I am now (reasonably) tidy at home but one of my daughters is as bad as I was - the thing that pains me most is the endless recycling of clothes - an item of clothing will come out of the drawer she will then decide not to wear it drop it on the floor eventually tidy up and put it in the washing basket whereupon it is washed and ironed only to go through the same cycle again never having been worn.

Her twin sister is tidier but operates the beach system where everything just washes up against the wall to leave the centre of floor clear so that the room looks superficially tidy.

I have faith that they will eventually become tidy - if I could anyone can - but my husband tends to think they are both mentally ill!!

[The Nappy Lady]

Apparently the fact that I feel

> compelled to iron muslins makes me even worse than

> my Mum was.

Ahhh Pickle, thank god it isn't just me. I did cave in for a while when baby 2 was little and life was just too overwhelming, but they are all ironed and put away neatly now, with only the odd one in use.

We are sad, sad women....I do know that....

Molly

[The Nappy Lady]

Not read the entire thread, but I've heard people say they have a rule to only wash clothes that are in the laundry basket (sorry if this has already been suggested).

Knowing most teenagers they will soon get the message when they start to find their favourite jeans etc. are not ready for the next 'big day or night' out they have planned.

I already despair at the state of my daughter's room and she is only 5, so have little hope for the future!

Molly

[womanofdulwich]

i have had 3 nieces staying from australia in the past 3 years- all between 22 and 25- they are gross- room a real tip- makes my teenage boys not look too bad. i now have a 23 year old italian girl staying and she is also terrible. yet they all emerge beautifully coiffed and made up. all i notice is that the more space they have the messier they are!! i have to confess that whilst the rest of my house is tidy there is a chair in my room that is 2ft deep in clothes / bank statements/ Christmas lists......

[sillywoman]

Thanks everyone for the reassurance. I thought she wasn't alone! I guess my main difficulty is balancing Mr S's expectations of what constitutes normal, and what really is 'normal' for a teenage girl in order to attempt to maintain some semblence of household harmony (getting increasingly difficult).

[The Nappy Lady]

Maybe get some photos of other teenage bedrooms sent to you to show him?!!!

[Ann]

That can be arranged! SW, there is a lot of conflict in our house between my husband and daughter. I find myself constantly in the middle. I think perhaps men have little concept of the mindset of teenage girls having never been one themselves.

Would be interested to know if others have had this experience?

[sillywoman]

Yes, Somehow I was expecting it between husband and sons (young buck establishing himself etc,etc) wasn't really expecting to be piggy in the middle with daughter. Don't like it at all . . . .

Any photo's gratefully received!