annaj

My goodness it takes me a long time to post, so much happened while I was typing. So... ps What *Bob* said - the word Paki would never just slip out, because I've never used it (outside of discussions like this, before some smart arse says "you just did") So, Du Beke's "I don't use rascist language" sounds a bit hollow to me. As an aside isn't his partner, Lalia, just one of the most beautiful women you have ever seen? And what Keef said - which was, in fact, what I was saying, but much more concisely.

The thing is, Mick Mac, that Scot is (in my opinion) a neutral term for someone of Scottish naitonality and the phrase is only made rude by the addition of the adjective dour. You could also describe someone as a jolly Scot or a stubborn Scot or a witty Scot or a gregarious Scot, or, well, anything really. The term Scot doesn't imply any particular characteristic, the preceeding adjective does. So, almost by definition, it's not rascist, because rascisim is about prejudices and assumptions based on race alone. The term Paki (again in my opinion, obviously) is offensive for the reasons already mentioned and "But everyone said it when we were kids" is no defence. Everything said about intent is true, but for some people, for various reasons to do with what they themselves or those connected to them have exerienced, some words will always be hurtful and so should not be used lightly.

Inspired by Atila on the nasty slapping thread, I've dredged this thread up for some much needed positivity. Tiny things that have caused me joy in the last few days... The string quartet in Covent Garden playing an inspired version of The Final Countdown by Europe. Browsing in a bookshop and seeing new books out by two authors whose first books I loved. Getting a copy of the first nursery picture of my 18 month old niece and nephew through the post. My dad making me giggle over dinner in a very nice french dining club. Anyone else?

I'm glad to hear no-one was hurt. Our building has three flats with linked smoke alarms, so if one is triggered they all go off. Annoying when the neighbours burn the toast on a Sunday morning, but well worth it if they were ever needed and I'd recommend them for flats.

The irony of your definitions of dull post is priceless, Ladymuck.

Go. Is this the tour where they're playing all of one of their albums including all the B sides of the singles?

Carrie, this story makes me furious on your behalf. The emergency department should never have discharged your aunt without services in place or a follow-up so see what services she needed. Older people injuring themselves in a way that renders them unable to cope at home is a common problem and every emergency department should have the links and services to deal with it. Her GPs response is also completely unacceptable. My advice would be first to try again with the council as it is them who are responsible for provide care at home. If that fails, or if at any point you think your aunt's health is suffering or she is in danger of hurting herself trying manage at home, take her back to the emergency department. I should make it very clear that going back to the ED with what is essentially a community problem is not something I advocate lightly, but in this case the department who discharged her also have a duty of care and carry some responsibility. If you (or another family member or friend) do take her to the ED, to get the best response go in the morning (not because it's less busy, but because it gives a whole working day for something to get sorted out) and be polite and calm at all times. Explain that your aunt was discharged with an injury that leaves her unable to perform her basic activities of daily living, with no social services support or follow-up, and has been unable to cope at home. If at any point you meet resistance or an unhelpful attitude ask, still smiling politely, for the nurse in charge or the duty consultant and explain the situation to them. Once all of this is sorted out for your aunt I would also recommend that she, or you on her behalf with her consent, write a letter of complaint. Not out of spite or revenge, but to improve the services. Winter, the season of falls and fractures, is fast approaching and this department needs to know that it's services are failing. Good luck.

I would class that as mild homophobia, although not from you I hastened to add, I've only quoted your post to give context as it was what HAL was responding to. I like a bit of humour to and I don't at all mind the odd tit/knob/bum joke, but it's not the odd one or two, it's all over the place and it's dull.

I know you're both joking and I'm taking this waaaay too seriously, but there is a grain of truth in there (not the babies driving bit, obviously) County living is completely car dependant, which, quite apart from not being very green, I would imagine could be quite isolating for a new mother.

Sorry if you find me too worthy BBW, but I find it tedious and frustrating that a simple question about whether we should dress up a bit for December drinks and make it a bit of a Christmas party (as has happened previous years)can descend so quickly into bum jokes and mild homophobia. And Ladymuck there was no suggestion of anyone having to glam up, I asked what people thought, that's all, and the answer is perfectly clear.

Do the people who say that London is a terrible place to raise children not realise how rude that is to those of us who were raised here? We moved half way through my childhood from South London to the supposedly idyllic countryside where I was bullied for being from That London and drugs, drink, petty crime, self harm and teenage pregnancy were all common through sheer boredom and frustration. And yet I ended up a fairly functional adult, because it's your parents that bring you up not the town you live in and good parents can live anywhere.

This thread seems to be turning into a home birth versus hospital debate and I can't help feeling it's because my post has been misunderstood. Just to be clear, I was absolutely not saying that I'm against homebirths and think everyone should be hospitalised, or that hospital births a safer for everyone, because I'm not and I don't and they're not. All I was trying to say was that women making this important decision need to be given full information with which to make it and that high rates of serious complications should be investigated to see if there are causative factors. That's all.

Giggirl, have a look at this place which might be more your cup of tea. It's a yoga holiday without all the rules (bit wacky in places and lots of woo, but a really lovely couple run it and the villa is fab) Maybe more nudging your boundaries than really pushing them, but the en-suite bathrooms are lovely!

Well if this is the standard of "witty" banter I can expect at the drinks, I might just find that I'm working after all...

I'm sorry you feel I've misrepresented you, but I don't think my post was aggresive or defensive. A little sensitive in the last paragraph, perhaps, but I admitted that myself. Your post read as if you were dismissing the need for an investigation, I've just read it back and it still reads like that to me. Phrases like "it's so rubbish" and "little grey men at work" sound dismissive to me, so that is what I responded to. And I didn't infer that you were I doctor hating radical. I said that I feel there is something of an anti-doctor vibe in this section, which I do. If you read that as referring specifically to you then maybe it's you who's reading "through the lens of your own attitude". Come to think of it don't we all see everything through the lens of our own attitude? Anyway, I've been up all night and need to go to bed, so I'll leave this one there I think.

Absolutely, buggie. If any healthcare service has a consistently higher rate of complications than other comparable services, then of course it has to be investigated. In the case of serious complications, such as deaths, then it may be that the service needs to be suspended until an investigation has been carried out. It's not about "grey men", it's about preventing avoidable deaths. You may well be right, silly woman, that the mortality rate is higher, because of the type of cases that Albany take on, but that can't be assumed it has to be demonstrated and that is what an investigation is for. Also, if their accepting high risk women for home birth is resulting in significantly higher mortality, perhaps they shouldn't be accepting them. This isn't trivia, it is about neonatal deaths which may be avoidable. I can't really believe that anyone would think it shouldn't be investigated. As for the case linked earlier and continuous monitoring, it's really a question of informed consent. If a woman has the risks of not being monitored clearly explained to her and understands them, but chooses not to be monitored for whatever reason, that's fine. We're all entitled to make our own choices. If, however, the risks are not explained by the person the woman is trusting to guide and advise her, as is alleged in the case linked earlier, then she doesn't have all the information she needs to make that choice. As medical practitioners it is part of our duty of care to fully inform patients, so that they can make informed decisions. Perhaps I'm a bit senstive, but I often feel there's a bit of an anti-doctor and anti-medicine vibe in this section. I think it's worth pointing out that NICE is not some shadowy, sinister organisation designed to control us all or take away anyones right to choose. The purpose of NICE is to review medical research and produce guidelines based on that research to try to ensure that everyone receives the best possible standard of care and prevent harm. It also helps to eliminate inequalities in care by setting standards to be followed nationwide. I realise that a lot of people on here have had great experiences with Albany and I don't want to detract at all from that, but to my mind, hypothetically speaking (because we really don't know all the facts here) a midwife who encourages homebirth, without fully explaining the risks, is no better (possibly worse)than a doctor who pushes for intervention.

PR, don't get upest, no-one is suggesting that you need to apologies or have the thread deleted. I was just trying to point out why you were receiving such a luke warm response as it was clear that it hadn't occured to you, but there have also been plenty of helpful suggestions, including Woof's above, so I don't think you need to feel criticised or that the thread was a waste of time. As I said, I'm sorry your cousin is unwell and I can well imagine the stress it must be causing you.

Oh, yes and yes to November and December dates. Hurrah! Ladies, what do we think about glamming up the dress code a bit for December drinks....?

Great minds, Quids.

PeckhamRose, I'm sure you're entirely sincere and I'm sorry that your cousin is unwell, but what I think Quids and Red Devil are implying with their "Mmmmmmmmmm"s is that no-one in their right mind would carry a wrapped parcel across the US border for a stranger from an internet forum. You know that part at check-in where they ask if you packed your bag yourself and if you're carrying anything for anyone else? Well the point of that is that it's, well, kind of against the rules to carry stuff for other people. I think your only options are to trust the post or, as TedMax suggested, order something for direct delivery online.

Good for you. Enjoy the break, you deserve it. (and I have more exams so could do with the lack of distraction)

About to leave for the night shift. Have fun drinkers.

If you've really never exercised before and you're overweight, you're absolutely right to start slowly and carefully to avoid damaging your joints or getting frustrated and giving up. BBW's 2 hours a day is way more than you need to do to start with and unrealistic to fit around a busy life. I would also be very cautious about the idea of carrying a weighted rucksack as it might just put unnecessary pressure on your back. My advice, if you're just starting out, would be to get some professional help. Liz, who posts on the forum as Goodliz, does running courses and personal training at very reasonable rates. I've met her socially and she's lovely and although I've never trained with her, I do know someone who has and the results (fitter, slimmer, more confident, happier) are amazing. Have a look at this thread and see what you think.

As if Buffy wasn't soft porn towards the end. Surely you remember the Buffy and Spike go at it and the house falls down scene?

No, for full laughs you have to follow the link and read the chapter. It's just too awful. Oh and Mockney, ignore mean Sean, that review made me giggle too. Nowhere near as good as my favourite ever Guardian review though. Can't for the life of me remember who it was a review of, but it was a single line... "Piss off indie band, go back to smelling of snails"