giggirl

HeidiHi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > And I think on here people should stop acting like > a lynch mob and stop being extremely rude when > someone says something that they do not agree > with.It is possible to disagree with someone > without restorting to playground name calling. I > see it happening time and time again on this > forum. Sorry HH but I think it's a bit rich. I'm not having a go about your comment yesterday because you have already explained that and I genuinely think you misunderstood what I wrote (or maybe I wasn't clear enough) - but your comment on my (miss-quoted) comment was to call it childish. See: I like all the posts saying things like 'my mum smoked, I am alive' 'I would rather have a mother who smoked then a psycho' etc so childish. Now how is that not "playground name calling"? Like I said, sorry to have a go because you did already explain, it's just the name calling comment you made today that I find a bit rich. Just to clarify (before anyone has a pop); I was born in the 60s and that was WAY before Joe Public knew about the hazards of smoking so pregnant woman who were smokers weren't advised to give up. My comment was simply that my mother smoked through her pregnancies and her children were born healthy. BUT IT IS NOT OK THAT SHE SMOKED. OK - DOES EVERYONE GET THAT I'M NOT SAYING IT'S OK THAT MY MOTHER SMOKED? IF ANYONE THINKS I'M SAYING THAT IT'S OK THAT MY MOTHER SMOKED THEN PLEASE PM ME AND I'LL KNOCK UP A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION WITH BULLET POINTS AND A PIE CHART AND THE WHOLE SCHABANG. SMOKING IS BAD. OK. Anyway, it was a throw-away post really and I wasn't making any specific scientific or medical point, I was just stating a fact - that pregnant women smoked in the 60s. I don't think I should have been called childish though. For the record, and to muddy the waters even further, my mother was injected with morphine every day when she was carrying me. Probably went into my bloodstream. Was that OK? No it wasn't. But it was the 60s and it happened and I was a healthy baby. HH - I do think stepping up to someone who was kicking a child was very brave though.

The Libertines are doing a night at The Forum.

Jah Lush Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Tell 'em you're meeting some clients for lunch and > take yourself off with a friend and go to a very > expensive restaurant and get smashed, not > forgetting of course to put it all on the > company's expenses. Jah - you're having flashbacks to the 80s honey. I'd lay off the gear if I were you.

prdarling Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "This woman and her friend were twice my size and > looked quite Vicky Pollard-esque." > > She was probably rendered speechless because she > wasn't even pregnant.... PRDarling - DO YOU MIND! PLEASE! I'm trying to look like I'm working and now I've spat coffee on my keyboard and I'm getting "a look".

I have a filter that sits on my screen. Ostensibly this is to cut out glare but it means you can't see the screen from across the room; only if you're right on top of it. Everyone should have one. Practice really hard at minimising all your screens at once (it's the windows key and M at the same time). Turn the volume to mute on your PC - and keep it that way. As someone has already said, learn off my heart everyone's footfall so you don't need to turn around. Position opposite you a shiny object - a window, or somethind reflective, but not a mirror (which is too obvious). A quick glance in your shiny object will tell you what's happening behind you. There's nothing more furtive than someone keep turning round. Occasionally tut and massage your temples, to look as if you're struggling with some huge corporate problem. Good luck.

What a brilliant thread. Unfortunately I'm too busy to post right now (oh, the irony), but I'll be right back Rosie. Px

Huggers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > I think you should take your health mission down > Rye lane saturday and talk to some of the mothers > in waiting outside macdonalds. I'm sure you'd get > more than 'speechlessness' and a livelier debate > would ensue. That's a fabulous idea Huggers. I, for one, have been parading up and down past the Co-Op all morning with a cushion up my jumper and a roll-up, waiting for a ruck. Nobody even glanced sideways at me. I think they've all been reading this thread. I'm loving Keef's posts. Made me smile.

HeidiHi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The fact that the woman and her burly friend said > nothing indicates that they knew the OP was right, > because most people like myself re above would > defend ourselves if we feel we are in the right. That's very interesting HeidiHi. Especially as I'm still waiting for you to answer the question that I asked after your post yesterday: Do me a favour, would you mind please showing me where someone on this thread has said "my mum smoked so that makes it ok".

LittleED - I understand what you're saying but the problem is, that's not how the OP described it. She reports that the woman was rendered speechless (or words to that effect). I've never seen a Jeremy Kyle programme but I'm guessing nobody on there is rendered speechless.

I just read this: However, just find it amusing to be referred to in such vitriolic terms such as psycho etc. Hilarious!! Why do people pretend to find things amusing which are evidently not amusing at all? Being called psycho is not funny so why pretend it's hilarious? Why not be honest and say something like "someone called me psycho and I was upset by that remark - it was uncalled for". I would. What's wrong with a bit of honesty?

I disagree - I think you were aggressive. You instigated a confrontation with a pregnant woman. That's aggressive. I see also that you've toned down your reporting of the event and what you said since your original post. I don't think people have shown anger towards you; I just think people are quite horrified by what you did. It makes my blood boil that some people can be so selfish for just 9 months. Once again, let me say, we know NOTHING about this woman. NOTHING. Do you know for a fact that she has been smoking for 9 months? You know NOTHING. The only thing you know is that you saw her have one cigarette. Anything over and above that you're just making up to serve your argument. Call me judgemental? Ha! I am indeed. Nobody is arguing with you about the smoking thing, the issue that several posters seem to have is with you being so judgemental. And yet you seem so very proud of it. You are not a perfect person and you are not a perfect mother. Remember that and be more thoughtful before judging other people.

Just to clarify, nobody on this thread has suggested that smoking is OK. Nobody has suggested that it's OK for a pregnant woman to smoke. It's not a good thing. That's a no brainer. Again, just to clarify, we know NOTHING about this smoking pregnant lady or her circumstances. What we do know of the incident is the OP's report which was this: Just saw a woman brazenly smoking whilst heavily pregnant. I could not help but give her a filthy look, which she reciprocated...and then I let loose and told her how selfish she was and how disgusting is was to be smoking whilst pregnant, and so publically. I told her she should be ashamed of herself as well. This woman was rendered speechless but I am glad I said all this. My husband says I was wrong to say anything and should have minded my own business but I was left so mad by what I saw I couldn't help myself. What do others think?!! Now, call me old fashioned, but I do not read this as a passer by interceding in order to protect an innocent child/foetus, I see it instead as someone simply venting spleen. She probably made herself feel a whole lot better by venting, but so what? LittleEDfamily raises some interesting points though about when it?s appropriate to step in, and the Brighton incident is certainly a good example. But passing judgement on someone and giving them a piece of your mind ? serving no purpose but to vent spleen ? that?s not a good thing.

Ligaturiosity Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- How do you know that the woman in question only smoked a couple of cigarettes? How do you know that the woman in question didn't only smoke a couple of cigarettes? Or even just the one? What exactly do you know about this woman? The woman who you choose to publicly "let loose" on (I would say "letting loose" on someone is the same as "attacking" them, but hey, that's just me and my opinion). The sight of a pregnant woman smoking is shocking. Smoking is bad for all of us (pregnant or not). I?m going to assume that the woman wasn?t stupid and would therefore know this. If I saw a pregnant woman smoking my train of thought would be a little bit like this?.. is she OK? is she stressed out ? has something happened to make her spark up (bad news, or maybe she's just not coping) ? does she have someone to talk to ..... I hope she gets whatever she needs from someone somewhere (or at least from that cigarette). Oh, and this from the OP: I could not help but give her a filthy look, which she reciprocated. Well that was always going to end badly wasn't it? Personally, I would have gone out of my way to catch the woman's eye and to smile at her. Why - because if she was having a shit day from hell she might need a little bit of compassion.

HeidiHi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I also think everyone is judgemental to a point, > it is normal since we all have different views and > opinions. > I DO think it is childish to call her pyscho and > to say my mum smoked so that makes it ok. HeidiHi, Are you referring to me? If so, here's what I wrote (unedited, of course) I was born in the 60s and my mother smoked throughout her pregnancies. We were all born healthy. I'm not saying it's good for anyone to smoke (obviously), I'm just saying that one cigarette is not the end of the world as we know it. Do me a favour, would you mind please showing me where someone on this thread has said "my mum smoked so that makes it ok".

HeidiHi, I think the biggest problem that posters are having with the OP, is just how judgemental she comes across. My issue isn't "should a pregnant women be smoking", more "should a pregnant woman be publicly attacked for smoking". Bottom line - judgemental people - not very nice to be around - no compassion. This is a public forum and people post their opinions. This is also a tad judgemental, isn't it: HeidiHi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > I like all the posts saying things like 'my mum > smoked, I am alive' 'I would rather have a mother > who smoked then a psycho' etc so childish.

Money for Nothing - Dire Straits

KLF - money to burn

YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS OK. But they look good whilst they sound rubbish. If someone is following me around I'll go for eye candy over artistic merit. Those are my terms.

Well I wasn't suggesting JLS on artistic merit (obviously). I was merely saying that if I had to be followed round by a band, I would like something easy on the eye. If Joey Ramone (or lookey likey) starts following me anywhere I shall run off screaming blue murder and probably start a thread about "undesirables lurking in ED" on this very forum.

Brendan - get with the programme honey - the Ramones are brown bread. So I'm guessing JLS was a no. Shame. They seem like nice boys and there are so many jobs around the house I could get them to do.

Brendan, I'm with you in theory on this one. I don't want dead people though. Could I have those nice JLS boys to follow me everywhere? Do you think they might help with carrying shopping from the Co-Op and such? If I asked nicely?

S P A M

Is that the Ramones Brendan? Aren't they (mostly) dead?

Nobody is perfect. Next time you want to rush in and judge someone for doing something you don't approve of, just imagine for a moment the spotlight being trained on you, your 24/7 parenting skills, your loved ones. Are you perfect? No? So show some compassion then. "Sigh"

I was born in the 60s and my mother smoked throughout her pregnancies. We were all born healthy. I'm not saying it's good for anyone to smoke (obviously), I'm just saying that one cigarette is not the end of the world as we know it.