reneet

Saila Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > i'm living in the hope that, yes our generation > has to work hard as we are in a transition from > the past to the future. But it's our generation > that's bringing up the next generation of Dads. > Let's hope we succeed in passing on the right > messages. > > We reap what we sow? I really don't think its only the Dad's that need to change, its us as well. Why do we feel guilty about wanting to work, its perfectly normal that we want to be something else as well as being mums. Its interesting how the government is now claiming that they are trying to help women ( the 1 in 4 in the boardroom aspiration), don't get me wrong i don't think its a crap idea. I am currently very bitter that I might miss a promotion I have been working on for a whole year just because the post is coming up a month before I go on maternity leave. I know they should not refuse to promote me on that basis but they will and I will not be able to prove that that why they did it. I guess I feel that if I am successful in my career then I can justify leaving my daughter in childcare for so long. Yes if Mr. R and I both worked part time, then we could live a happier life, but that will mean downgrading on our lifestyle no more music, drama and swimming lessons and all the other unnecessary things i sign my daughter up for no more organic meat whatever. I might sound shallow right now but I am trying to be realistic, I mean someone has to take care of the child and if it was both of us then our lifestyle will definitely take a hit. Funny thing is when we will be comfortable enough to make that step then they will be all grown up and don't really need us any more. I do not believe there ever will be equality, the only time we can achieve equality is if men can carry the pregnancy and can breastfeed. Sorry for ranting and going seriously off topic, again.

Princess/Livebait - Its technically not a refresher but 'old' (don't want to say 2nd time and currently have placenta memory) mums are welcome as well. Its I think over 3 days from 10am to 4pm somewhere in East Dulwich. I am yet to get the details (or maybe i have got the details but due to placenta memory, i forgot). Should be a mixed group. Could not find an appropriate refresher that fit my needs and after all I have forgotten everything, 3.5 years is a long time.

Hello, Due 10th August. Booked NCT classes for july doing the intensive course (Only way I could ensure that Mr. R attends), don't want a replica of last time of him reading his notes trying to catch up on pain relief position while I am in full swing labour,or an enactment of him with a book trying to instruct me on breast feeding positions just a few hours after the birth while I am struggling to breast feed. I am with lanes and I find them laid back and fantastic, I am booked and fully intending on a hospital birth unless i cant make it there on time. Can anyone give me information on the yoga classes. What time are the Jag ones and what time are the kings ones.

lpool Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Unable to go along last night but interested to > hear of any comments made. > > At the moment the application appears to have been > pulled from the website. I've emailed Adrian > Dennis to suggest letters go out addressed to > "Owner" as so many houses in Abbotswood and > surrounding roads are rented. At the moment they > simply send them out addressed to "Occupier" so > may never get seen by person who has a legal > interest. Seems its back and letters are still to Occupier.

Sorry to bring this up again. Anyone knows what goes on with lessons at Dulwich Leisure centre? Called them last week and I was told that I have to go there in March and they will give me the information but she warned me that there is a waiting list. Just wondering, if I cannot pre book, how is there a waiting list, is this from last term? I have read about the confusion, but its the closed pool to us and have no time to travel further. Looking for lessons for a 3.5 year old.

supergolden88 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Before I got pregnant the first time I was Art > Director of a small magazine publishing company. I > was working 8am to 8pm and I was not working I was > constantly thinking about work. When I got > pregnant a year into the job thing got worse as we > were launching new magazines etc. My stress levels > were through the roof. After I had my daughter I > decided not to go back to my job partly because I > had concerns about the company but mostly because > I knew that I would not be able to fit work around > childcare (ironic that both bosses were women). > > I went freelance when baby was 8 months and at > nursery. Working freelance is brilliant as you can > work from home but what happens of course is that > you work twice as hard turning no work down and > doing all house related chores as well as nursery > pick ups (hubby did drop offs). If I was given > more options at work I would not necessarily > choose to stay home because of illness/childcare > issues. Edited to add here that my husband does > all he can to share childcare but he hates leaving > early or going in late because of school/nursery > closures or illness etc. Hates it because he will > get no understanding and will have to work insane > hours at home to make up for it - something he > does frequently staying up till 3-4am. > > Now I have a new baby boy I was so concerned about > telling my clients I was pregnant and therefore > unable to take on work for a time that I never > told them about it and continued to work through > it all. I was laying out a book three days after > the birth. Now I realise this is extreme and quite > possibly insane but I do want it all. I love my > baby to bits but I love working as well and > balancing the two has been very hard at times. I think we should not blame partners, my hubby is "happy" to stay home and take care of out daughter when she is ill, but he will have to make up the time, he has to work from home. When I do it, everyone is very understanding and I even have childcare breakdown leave/ or carers leave. And endure a bi hourly call from me checking up on them. With the Job thing, I have to go on maternity leave in a few months, I am currently involved in a big project and getting someone up to speed on my role on the project will be very hard and to make it worse my leave cover will not start until i leave meaning I have to handover to one of the team members who already have a heavy workload. I am confused and not making my point here. I think we cannot have it all, something will have to give.

I surprisingly agree with Keef just a little bit. I hate not being there when my daughter is ill. I had to share chidcare with Mr. Reneet when she was recently ill as i had a deadline that i could not miss. We did alternate days and I absolutely hated it. I felt that she needed me not him when she was ill, he is the fun one. I am the carer. I guess i feel confused, on the one hand I want to be there for my children and on the other hand I love what i do professionally. Unfortunately for me, my profession is not a half house, i cannot just drop everything. Mr. Reneet has offered several times to share the pick ups and drop off but I will not let him. In my opinion its ridiculous for him to do it as its opposite direction from where he needs to go while its next door to my work. I agree with Beagle, when Mr. Reneet, cleans I criticise his efforts and sometimes redo his work, which must be frustrating for him. So when I am run down and completely frustrated i have no one to blame my myself or probably my mother as well. I was raised by a nanny and because of that my children will never be closer to another person than they are to me (in short I am never (never say never) getting a nanny). Not that her spending an average of 10hours a day in nursery is any better.

Thanks all for the support as this has become a meaningfull discussion rather than my whining i'll move it here

Ruth_Baldock Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It'll get easier, thats what I keep telling > myself. It has to, or I shall be going away on > holiday by myself for 4 months. Will leave a > postcard on my side of the bed saying 'Gone > fishing'. Had to laugh at that. The long hours are temporary as its the end of the financial year and our new year begins in April and so we have to be ready by then. Thing is, i left the private sector and moved to the public to cut pressure and hopefully work less and spend more time with my daughter, but now she spends far more time in nursery than she should and i feel guilty. I tried cooking and freezing and hubby does a bit over the weekend but there are some weeks like this one when we never did anything over the weekend and it has turned out to be a crappy week. Sorry I am now rumbling while I should be getting some much needed sleep. Maybe I should go fishing.

You can Rent 'Rug Doctor' from Morrisons in Camberwell, they have a red stain remover which works wonders. I think its about 20pounds for 24 hour. Not sure about the price. And you have to buy the cleaners the stain remover, I think. Cheaper than a carpet cleaner

I am very desperate at the moment and would like to know if any mums out there are in a similar situation and how they are coping. I work full time, my job is very high pressure, now more than usually, so generally doing 9-10 hour days. I have an active preschooler who I have to take to nursery and pick up. And to top it all I am 15 weeks pregnant. I actually feel like I am 9 months, I am exhausted and nauseated all the time. I know I need to rest but when I get home I have to attend to my daughter and cook dinner before hubby gets home. He then takes over and I can relax but I can't because I am too tired. Starting to think I am just a sissy, don't remember it being this difficult last time and I was working full time and the job was more high pressure. Just want reassurance that I am not alone.

Hospitals just have to charge for extra services given that funding has been cut. Its not only staff time but the paper and toner too. Sounds petty, but sum it all up, per patient, and could come to a fair bit. "As someone here ones said it will be a beautiful day when the military has to have a cake sale for a new aircraft and a hospital gets all the equipment they need" or in this case toner and paper.

I think Townley road is closed now. I moved from my former surgery to DMC mainly because of contraception issues, (the surgery was pretty useless as well). I needed to have an implant removed but camberwell sexual health centre where I was referred was impossible. I visited them 3 times and each time I was told it would be a 4hr+ wait. I was advised to make sure that I was first one in, which is not possible with a preschooler to feed and drop off. I finally gave up and joined DMC who had a doctor qualified to do the procedure.

samstopit Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I agree with toast. What are these parents > thinking of? I can't be alone as a concerned mum > whose child who will be starting school in > September, reading these posts and thinking that > maybe I should not have put Goodrich on our > application form for Southwark. Is that helpful to > your situation? Surely you would be better off > getting behind the school and promoting it to > other families who care about their kids' > education, as the goose green contingent have done > so successfully over the past couple of years. Agree. As a parent who will very soon be making applications, this is worrying. All I am getting is don't take you child to Goodrich. This seems to be a continuing thread in EDF ask a question and all you get are arguments that do not really help. Seems like everyone is part of the problem and no one is a part or even willing to be a part of a solution.

I have the same concerns. Was lucky enough to go private with my first and the care was first class. Monthly appointments and all, but then again I was in a foreign country with the company footing all the bills. Now with my 2nd. Went for my booking appointment at 12 weeks where tests were taken. To date i have not heard anything about the results so assuming no news is good news. I had my 12 week scan a week after the booking appointment. At the booking appointment I was told that my next appointment will be in 5 weeks and that someone will call me, no one has called (although its now 3 weeks so maybe in the next 2 weeks....). I was told that Lanes are slightly short staffed at the moment and things should get back to normal soon, but since I have no idea what normal is...... I was given the list of appointments and they are 16 weeks, 25 weeks (i think) then every 3 weeks after. Had a normal delivery first time round and things seem OK this time as well so not at risk (touch wood). I thought that I was spoilt by my first care and trying not to complain, but if everyone is feeling as displeased with the care as I am then....

Curious http://www.findaproperty.com/displayprop.aspx?edid=00&salerent=0&pid=7057506 not quite 330k Alex K Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The next road over in the St Francis estate had a > three-bedroom (well, yes, the third is admittedly > bijou) end-of-terrace sell for ?330K, recorded as > of 28 November. No idea of its condition inside; > its garden is heavily shadowed by the plane trees > along the road between the Hamlet grounds and the > estate boundary; noise and night-lights might be a > problem. (Not to mention gunplay at Sainsbo's.) > > But it's nearer and cheaper than Honor Oak. And I > reckon there will be others, are others, in that > price range in that estate.

I think its that expensive. When I was in school (not in England), we paid very little for trips abroad, we always found a school that would offer us accommodation mostly we would live with local parent and we would offer accommodation to the same school when the students visited our country. It drove the costs down and plane tickets for students travelling in a group are always cheaper. I also know for fact that they subsidise the teachers, my friend who is a teacher is going to Botswana or some country around that area for only 200 needless to say her students are subsidising her. 'Devils hat' - Our companies pay for our trips we never have to pay for work so why shouldn't it apply to teachers as well. 'Parent's hat' - Simply ridiculous.

Guess the thread has changed to 'bash hislordshiplane'

jimmyay Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The usual cheap waste of life. We don't get it so > much around here but in some parts of London this > happens every week. > > Why do young black males do this to each other? > Its beyond pathetic and so so tragic. What the > hell are the parents doing. They turn a blind eye > to the culture their kids are falling into. > > > Suppose we can be right on & agree this crime is > all the fault of the tory cuts though, rather than > the parenting or any effort for individuals to > look out for their kids or change the culture they > live in. For God's sake. I suppose young white males (or even females) never shoot or stab each other??

Received a letter from Southwark as I live in the neighbour hood. Apparently consultations will close on the 9th of Feb 2011. They have highlighted areas that will be taken in considerations. Apparently parking might not be one of them as the building will have its own underground parking. Loss of sunlight to property will be considered therefore people on burrow road should consider this. I keep on wondering where they will get space for a garden as the parking space and car wash seem too small. Should take a traffic photo on Saturday evenings, the traffic caused by sainburys is terrible. Just rumbling now from general annoyance.

Moments of madness are usually looking for a pen that's on my hair, glasses that are on my head, nappies in the washing machine and actually washing them and clothes in the nappy bin and actually throwing them away then having to rampage through my bin looking for then 2 hrs later. Or today giving my lovely colleague my pack of crisps to put make me some tea and getting annoyed that she is just standing there and not taking my 'cup'. Need a holiday really bad. Deleting all my scripts today proved that, thank God for IT's vigilance in backing up. Even posting here so much lately is a moment of madness.

Thanks DulwichFox, the English lesson has made me a better person

I have a TV rule of 1 hr a day, my 3 year old get to choose what she wants for the hr. Can be a movie, youtube clip of Hello Kitty or Pepper pig or one of the aired programs. After the hour sorry no more telly.

Mums pushing strollers across the road with one hand while talking on the phone with the other. Dangerous and irresponsible. Enraged beyond belief.

Thanks for organising it was lovely meeting you all.