I enjoyed this (written by Nicholas Pegg): The Tale Of The Priceless And Irreplaceable Antique Dining Table by Hans Atheist Andersen Once upon a time, some dear old friends were sitting around a priceless and irreplaceable antique dining table. What made this table so precious was that it had been fashioned many hundreds of years earlier from the remains of not one but several ancient tables, making it a unique and beautiful piece of furniture. And so the old friends sat around the priceless and irreplaceable antique dining table, eating and drinking and chatting, occasionally disagreeing about this or that, but on the whole being very nice to each other and enjoying the most pleasant dinner party. Then some of the people sitting at one end of the priceless and irreplaceable antique dining table declared that it would be a good idea to saw it in two. Not everyone thought the same, so they decided to have a vote on the matter. It was agreed by all who sat around the priceless and irreplaceable antique dining table that those sitting down at the other end wouldn?t have any say in whether it was sawn in two. All, that is, except for one little boy, who timidly put up his hand and enquired, ?Please may I ask why I don?t get a vote? Because, you know, I?m sitting at the table too, and I think sawing it in two would be rather a pity.? And the people at the other end of the priceless and irreplaceable antique dining table told the little boy to shut the f**k up because he was an ignorant bully who didn?t know what he was talking about and in any case he had no right to an opinion because he wasn?t sitting at their end of the priceless and oh anyway you get the general idea.