sillywoman

I'd agree with Fuschia big time, bumpy (Hmm, where have I heard that name before?;-)). Get you downstairs to your telly & your man, & just chill (as far as possible wth a fractious 'evening' baby on your breast)! It also does sound like completely normal 7 week old behaviour (I bet if you ask around you'll find that loads of babies did the same kind of thing at that age), evening fractiousness is quite common, you're tired & your breast milk isn't as rich & satisfying as it is earlier in the day. The more you can put your feet up & relax whilst he's feeding, the better. Also, as Pickle rightly pointed out - this is definitely the time for wine, chocolate & cake. It will help boost you & maybe your milk supply too (guessing there, no research AFAIK to back it up - yet!) Molly's advice re feeding is good too, feeding 'til one breast is empty (you can tell by feel) then switching to the other - as long as both are being used it doesn't really matter though. Although I did know one woman who fed her baby to 9 months, but only from the right breast - he wouldn't feed from the other. So I guess maybe use whichever he prefers (if he has a preference)? Relax and enjoy him, the rest will all follow . . . . .

No, you're probably right - the wouldn't be anything left to save anything with. But it seems to be a question of weighing it all in the balance for you, what will be more important to you over the term of your life, a family, or a wodge in the bank? I am biased though, we were in your position & chose a family, now 14 years on we've got 4 beautiful children and not a bean in the bank, quite literally. It's scary, but to us they were worth it (most of the time!). Only you can decide, but there's rarely a 'right time' to have kids. 'Go for it' I'd say.

My 14 year old has just had her first boyfriend. It lasted 2 weeks before she finished with him. In that time they held hands, and that's about it (I think!). She usually met him as part of a boyfriend/ girlfriend group with some of her friends, & I think she was more interested in the experience of 'having a boyfriend' rather than the reality of it. It was all very sweet really, but she has a good group of friends and I think she's more interested in hanging out with them, a 'real' boyfriend would take up too much time - a bit like a hamster or new pet, all very exciting initially, but it's not long before interest drops away & Mum that ends up cleaning the cage (only there's definitely no 'Mum' in the boyfriend scenario!). Still, it was a lovely first experience, & it all seemed entirely age appropriate to me. Wonder what's coming next?!

It might be good news if it hadn't taken them 11 years after the suggestion was first mooted to instigate it. I've grown people in the time it's taken them to realise that this approach could work (well, it might if they handled it properly). Rubbish response time from Alleyns really.

Hi Samstopit - well it could be a few hours (if Mum was already starting to go into labour when they began the induction), or it could be a few days (more common), if the pessary doesn't work to start contractions after 24-36 hours, then they'll start a drip to make them happen, if that doesn't work after 6 or so hours then they'll go to Caesarean to get the baby out. However all sorts of things can might happen along the way to throw this process & these timings out. Sorry I can't be more helpful. Congratulations on your impending "Auntie-hood"! SW

Domitianus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > Alternatively, you could tell them that you and a > group of ED residents had decided amongst > yourselves that the road in question was to become > a toll-road and that you were there as designated > collector to take ?10 of all the other users, so > hand over the dosh! See how they react to that. LOL! I'm so gonna try that one! Perhaps TheAllSeeingEye could join me?

Aaargh -mea culpa, mea culpa "runs off weeping & beating breast to try and repair the damage she's done with some sellotape".

I've seen this kind of mutually agreed one way system work extremely well in a similar situation in North London. However the school there worked very hard to have strong links with the local community. Sadly Alleyns doesn't, & the parents have set up this system whilst neglecting to tell 80% of the local residents of their plans. Note I say 'tell' not, 'negotiate' or 'suggest this course of action to'. They did post notes to those on Hillsborough rd, but not to anyone on the Dutch Estate, or Thornecombe, Glengarry, Tarbert or Trossachs Rds - all of whom use Hillsborough to get to & from their homes (when we can). It could work well with a little good will and effort, I'm sure many in the local community would be willing to give it a go, but it needs to be mutually agreed & adequately policed (by this I mean two or three parent volunteers out each drop off, pick up time for a week or so informing people of what they're doing, plus some basic signage reminders of which way the traffic should be flowing pinned on Alleyns fence - nothing fancy)in the set up period in order to work sufficiently well enough to ease the congestion. It does seem to me to be another typical Alleys "we're doing this & *!%* the lot of you" scheme. they've been very cackhanded in their approach & management of this. Poor show from them again. Shame really.

Yes, earlier in the evening I read Easties post to sensibleman, it made him think & he recalled noticing a couple of men hanging around on Glengarry this past week late at night (he often comes home from work between 11-12pm). There's nothing going on round here so reason to be hanging round if you see what I mean. So when we heard an odd thumping noise from the street outside we were extra aware of the possibility of something untoward happening. SM was out the door - like a rat up a drainpipe, while I stood on the sofa in our front window craning my neck to see whatever I could. What a right pair we must have looked, luckily it paid off in this instance.

Well done for your perseverance Vangough, fingers crossed for you this time around. Don't forget to let us know how it goes & what you get. SWx

Nah, though they were pretty prompt. Did a drive round to see if I could spot the rat-bags but sadly no joy. Neighbours back now & wondering about the big boot-print on their front door!

Thanks for this Eastie - we live on those streets. Our neighbours are away & we've just heard, & seen 2 young men trying to break into their house. Am calling the police now. thanks for the heads up.

Easties, can you describe the cars, & where the men are hanging out?

Really really sorry if this has been answered already, am putting off serving up dinner to my starving family & getting a bit of grief so haven't read through whole thread. But have to ask whilst it's in my mind; Is it considered OK to pick broken daffs? You know, the ones that have been knocked over by dogs or kids playing, or even a heavy rain shower? I sometimes do this on my early morning run, but always feel as if I'm doing something very bad. What's the form on this? Thanks - need 'moral'guidance here!

Hi reren, I've just put something on your other thread, and as I'm on a roll tonight I'll post here too! Yes, I am the SE22 antenatal teacher (outed!!), there's only one of me here at the moment, but I'm about to be joined by another (Alice, who has already taught some classes & is brilliant at it), & there's Becky in Nunhead (she's just fab & funny - see Iaineasy's pre-baby thread!), Sarah in Herne Hill (also fab & has probably forgotten more about antenatal classes than I'll ever know - she was my teacher!), Maria near Brockwell park (just lovely & kind, & soooo brainy), and the delightful Xenia in West Dulwich (if you've had her you'll never forget her cheeky sense of humor & naughty giggle. She's a lot of fun) We all teach at different times & different lengths for our courses, and all balance teaching with raising our own families - so we've all been where you are now & remember only too well the heady mix of excitement and anxiety. Check out the NCT website for a comprehensive list of when & where our classes are (I'm opposite ED Hospital), or contact Alison Johnson as Pickle suggested (Thanks Pickle), or PM me & I can tell you what I've got available - but sadly I don't have details of the others. Good luck with your booking, I'm sure you'll have fun whichever classes you choose. Love SW P.S. All our teaching has to be evidence based (i.e. we have to be able to back it up with up to date research wherever it's available), so never fear, the days of yoghurt-eating-lentil-weaving-give-birth-in-the-fields NCT are long gone (though I do like muller light & sometimes wear sandals in the summer). We try to be as balanced as possible and give you useful, accurate, information on which you can base decisions that are right for you & your individual set of circumstances. Ok I'll shut up now & go & feed my starving family.

Hi reren, and congratulations. Apologies for the long post that follows. I'll try and make some sense of the very fragmented maternity services that are available in our area. My information may be a little out of date as things change quickly, but I know that if I'm mistaken then some friendly forumite will correct me (please). The way the system generally works in the UK is that once you're pregnant you see a midwife for antenatal care once a month or so until the last month when the appointments become closer together. Any health issues that aren't pregnancy related are still dealt with by your GP. In my opinion the advice to switch surgeries is sound. If you're in the catchment for Oakwood midwives (based at Forest HIll Road surgery) then you're very lucky - they are one of the midwifery teams people fight to get into - but you need to move fast, they get booked up quickly and can only book a certain number of births each month. I would check before you switch GP that Oakwood can, in fact, take you. Once with one of these community midwifery teams (Oakwood, Brierly, The Lanes etc.etc.) then all your antenatal care will be with them. Oakwood & Brierly are very pro homebirth, they aim to have one of their midwives attend you through your labour and birth, without changing shift, wherever you have your baby. This is only an aim & the ability to provide this service depends on a lot of things (who's available, how many hours they've already worked, how long your labour is, whether the team is running at full capacity, all sorts of stuff really). each of these teams is autonomous & operates in a slightly different way, but they all aim to practice 'caseload midwifery' i.e. you get allocated to a midwife (or a team of 2) & she's yours for the duration. At the Gardens, your antenatal care will be done by either Stella or the other midwife now based there (whose name I can't remember - sorry). If they are busy (and I must say the feedback I've had is that often they are & it can be quite hard to get appointments - though this may have improved since just before Christmas?) They won't attend your labour or birth, you will either have hospital midwives on the labour ward (watch 'one born every minute' to get a sense of a busy city labour ward & the care you can expect there), or a midwife from King East Team, if you plan a homebirth through them. After the birth you will be visited at home, for the first 10 days by your community midwives (if there's an issue for you or your baby they may keep you on their books, i.e. carry on visiting you, for up to 28 days post birth. If you stay with the gardens you'll be visited by a community midwife from the East team. Once you & baby are signed off from the midwives at 10 or 28 days, your care is then shared. Any general health issues for either of you will be dealt with by the GP, any developmental issues for your baby are dealt with by the Health Visitor (there's a thread on them somewhere on here). There is a certain amount of crossover in the early months, but generally then things settle down and it becomes clearer as to who deals with what as your baby grows. The main advantage of the community teams is that you have the opportunity to get to know your midwife, and for her(or him!) to get to know you. So the chance of you having a midwife with you through labour & birth who knows your history, fears & anxieties is high - though not absolutely guaranteed. The same midwife also has a high chance of being the one to care for you & your baby once you get home. You don't get this opportunity through the antenatal service at the Gardens as it is just a standard hospital based service. Hope this helps, PM me if you think I may be able to help you with any further info.

MitchK Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > If you can convince the government to bring back > selective grammar schools that promote excellence > then you will have my support. Until then, thank > God for private schools. unless you can't afford them of course . . .

Hi Millsa, Congratulations. The gap between my first & second is 18 months. We told her once we were past the 12 week stage, she didn't understand of course as she was still a baby herself, but it meant that as I grew larger, her understanding grew too & when I was 8 months gone, the size of a small house, & unable to carry her upstairs easily, or uncomfortable with her on my lap for too long, she had some small understanding of why - and that it was the baby making Mummy uncomfortable - not her. Also, as someone else has said, we knew other people would be talking to me about it & children can absorb so much information that we are unaware of - I wanted her to be getting the information about what was happening from us, not second hand from overheard & partially understood,conversations. Books we found helpful were "Za-Za's baby brother", by Lucy Cousins (really bright colours and simple text), and "Ellen & Penguin and the new baby" - can't remember the author (PM me if you want me to look it up) but Clara Vulliamy (Shirley Hughes daughter) did the beautiful illustrations. These two were the stalwarts of our collection - the "Ellen & Penguin . ." one in particular saw my girl through some tough times! And our experience was different to Ann's. Our Girl was jealous of her newborn brother initially, we did have issues even with one that young. She & I were so close that she took it very personally and wouldn't speak to me or let me do anything for her for a month or so. Luckily she has a great Dad & he picked up the pieces until she & I got onto a more even keel. So I don't think age has anything to do with jealousy or lack of it toward a new baby. I think it's just down to the individuals personality & relationships. My advice would be; prepare your boy gently, and be ready to go with the flow at the end of your pregnancy and in the early days with a new baby. With love & patience you'll all come through it fine, and have a slightly larger family to make you glow with pride.

Was just looking in the NCT catalogue and saw that there's a CD designed to reduce morning sickness - don't know how effective it is or anything (though it claims to have a 90% success rate in reducing nausea). It might be worth a go?

lyndsey83 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LegalEagle-ish Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > What's wrong with public transport? My kids > went > > to Pimlico and they had kids from all over > London, > > but they all went on Public transport. > > > > Are the private school kids too posh to sit > next > > to state school kids on public transport? Why > the > > hell should they be allowed, because of their > > wealth to block everyone's way when there is > > perfectly adequate public transport in London. > > > > The excuses for their segregation from the hoi > > polloi make me sick. Stop beating around the > bush > > and call it what it is, segregated transport for > a > > bunch of people who think the little people > whose > > way they block should be grateful to breathe > the > > same air as them > > > > Get the traffic wardens outside their schools > > instead of stalking Peckham. > > > Wow. That is so generalising and presumptious > thats it's borderline amusing. Do you know anyone > that actually went /goes to Alleyn's to justify > such comments? Yes, Sensibleman went, several of daughters friends go, several sons & daughters of my friends go - comments entirely justified & accurate as far as I can see. Social segregation is exactly what it is.

I'm quite suprised by how many of you, and others that I've spoken to about the programme, are a bit ::o at the 18 year old son being there. I thought it was lovely. Despite the Dad of the family seeming rubbish at the labour, they were obviously a close & loving family, and it seemed quite natural to me that an (almost) adult son would be interested in the process & want to be with his Mum through her labour. Also what a fantastic way for him to have one of the greatest learning experiences of his life - surrounded, and protected by his parents, who can answer questions should he have any, and shield him from the worst of it should he need it (in fact I'm convinced that this is what the Dad was doing with his mad antics - attempting to keep the atmosphere light for his son). It's certainly unusual for an older son to be present at a labour, but really - why not, if it's the right thing for them? Should birth & death really be kept so hidden away from the younger members of our society - even if their parents think they can cope with it?

Would agree with the other posters; you need to notify your midwife of this as it could be hyperemesis (continuous vomiting). If that's the case you easily run the risk of becoming dangerously dehydrated and needing hospitalisation with an drip to rehydrate you. Please get it checked out, as jollybaby says, there is stuff that they can give you, but even if they can't you need to be aware of the health implications this may have for you & take what steps you can to counter balance them. Jojo's advice re this is very good, but from what you say it sounds as though you may have a more severe case?

Linzkg, how about you balance it out a bit by watching some of the 'homebirth diaries' (I think they're on sky?)? So you can see that a straightforward labour & birth can be different, & some even say enjoyable! Particularly as I rather think the whole 'one born every minute' series will continue in similar style to the first programme.

Michael Ryan, whilst your information is interesting it's unfair of you to hijack a thread that specifically pertains to the situation surrounding the Albany midwives. Your information, though possibly linked, isn't specifically relevant to the topic under discussion here. Please start your own thread.

Pickle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Interesting about the "holistic" approach... from > a purely personal point of view I would have hated > it if the midwives were touchy feely with me > during both of my births. I wouldn't even let my > husband near me, my way of dealing with it was to > completely withdraw into myself and deal with the > pain - I found being touched made me lose my > concentration. So for me, a midwife getting on > with her job was exactly what I wanted. > > But Pickle - no good midwife is going to force 'touchy feelyness' on you, just offer it up should you want it. But that's not really even my point. Loads of women don't want to be touched in labour (me amongst them), but that's not the same as wanting to have you're experience respected & having physical comfort & reassurance there on offer should you want/ need it. A good midwife will take her cue's from you surely? I didn't see this even being offered, or possibly even thought about. As Mellors said it's probably just busy hospitals for you, but I felt there were plenty of missed opportunities in the situations we saw. I'm feeling so sad, disappointed and disillusioned by the 'sausage factory' aspect of that labour ward. Women deserve so much better.