sillywoman

Oooh, lovely stuff. I watched it last night (but fell asleep as can't seem to get much past 9.30pm these days!), so I watched it in it's entirelty this morning. Agree with extremely irritating husband, but also agree that clearly wife understood the way he worked his antics didn't seem to p** her off as much as they did me! She did say that they were a joking kind of couple. Thought their son was lovely, completely understood him looking to see as baby's head was descending - surely human instinct. Not 'bits' he was looking at, rather the birth of a baby. Who wouldn't want to witness that miracle if they got the chance? If Mum wasn't OK about the possibility of him seeing her bits at some point in the process then I'm guessing she wouldn't have allowed him there in the first place (though she did say earlier on she want him to - but as things become more intense that sort of stuff i.e. dignity seems to matter less)? Don't entirely agree about the Midwives though. I was very disappointed and saddened by how out of touch they seemed to be with the 'sacred' element of birth. I recently read a lament written by a local Doula about the loss of this, and how she wished that birth took place somewhere like a library or a temple; somewhere where the process of birth and the birthing woman were treated as sacred - requiring absolute attention and a hushed, respectful atmosphere, and this was very much in my mind as I was watching this programme. The Midwives asked the woman questions and issued instructions whilst the woman was in the full throws of a contraction - how disconnected is that? She was having discussions with the Son & Dad when she should've have been focussing her attentions & ministrations on Mum. Whilst I understand that maybe she was seeking to reassure Son & Dad of the normality of the process somehow her actions didn't sit easy with me. Also I didn't see any physical contact between the midwives & the women having their, where were the reassuring hugs, or supportive touches, where was the face to face eye contact. It may be that these bit's ended up on the cutting room floor, but I was greatly saddened by the care these women seemed to receive in this programme. Technically fautless, but surely midwifery is more than technical know-how? Where was the love?

Sarah Savaskan is the Herne Hill teacher, She's on; 020 7737 5777 [email protected] or you could try the Southwark & Lambeth booking secretary; Alison Johnson on 0844 243 6921 [email protected] HTH.

If it's after 3pm you might be able to get a local lovely schoolgirl (or boy) to come & mind your little one for an hour?

Although I think it may be illegal for an au-pair to have sloe charge of any child under 2, so depending on the age of your youngest it might not be an option that could work for you?

Bicarbonate of soda in the bath (or the oat bag thing). And it's calamine lotion that Molly couldn't remember the name of - I certainly found it helpful when mine had CP. I used it in conjunction with Piriton & my lot all seemed to like the soothing, cooling feel of it, each to their own I guess. A trip to the library to stock up on new books, story cd's & dvd's might be worth while if you can find someone to mind her for an hour while you go? Poor you, but it seems to be so much better if you get it over & done with early. Wishing you good luck & loads of patience!

> Batgirl - I don't think it's very helpful to post > that bald statement without any clarification or > context. Feedback from parents who are very happy > with the school and who are willing to back up > their perceptions with hard facts is far more > trustworthy IMO. Yes, I agree, hence the request for more info. It may be that the Mum just wanted the facilities a private ed could give her son & realised she'd made the wrong choice by going state. Kingsdale has, as you say, gone from strength to strength over the last few years.

Do you know why batgirl? (e.g. will she be going private, was he bullied etc.etc.) Also which year is he in?

Once we got someone to come & help when child 2 was a new baby. Nice lady asked me "where's your hoover?", Me: "Errrr . . .I don't know?". Oh the shame!

First 3 babes fed with no problem for varying lengths of time up to 9 months. Number 4 was a nightmare with me sobbing in the bath at 1 week old, crying that I couldn't carry on (& really knew that I couldn't). Sent husband out for nipple shields & they saved my bacon. Was able to rebuild confidence, give nipples a break & fed him 'till he gave up just after 2nd birthday. Had lots of advice from lovely midwife (Sophie, who now helps run the breastfeeding workshops at Kings), but in the end he was a 'lazy feeder' & just didn't open his mouth wide enough. It's not necessarily easier/ better with subsequent babies. You do have more knowledge & confidence, but sometimes it depends on the baby. I had the afterpains ryedalema mentions. I got them successively badly with each baby - none at all with first one, last one felt like strong contractions - which is what they were of course. Paracetamol helped. I do know women who've had them with first baby though.

hmmm, Clare Byam-Cook is something of a hot potato at the moment. She had no breastfeeding qualifications and last registered as a midwife back in the 80's - so her credentials are really dodgy. Add to that she recently likened breastmilk to being like coca-cola to a childs teeth (hence the hot potato) and you might want to steer clear of her. As Candj said - stick with your local recommendation (but make sure you check her credentials - there's a few dodgy one's out there, as in any profession). Agree with Ryedalema that actually Clare Kedves would have been your best bet. Local, free & impecable creds. Good luck with whatever you do though, sore nipples & breastfeeding troubles are just a nightmare. edited to say; this might give you a sense of the currently raging 'claregate' http://one-of-those-women.blogspot.com/2010/01/urgent-appeal-for-coca-cola-for.html (apologies for going off topic Iain, & that I don't know how to hyperlink)

Well I think you've found your leaflet dropper ryedalema! Surely no-one who wasn't the subject of your original post would have any cause to post such ignorant guff?

Try 'simply childcare', I'm sure if you google it it will come up. It's a listings magazine for anyone wanting, or offering, childcare in SE London.

Then sadly the system isn't working! I feel your bitterness womanofdulwich -it would be so much more bearable if we didn't have the stepfords in 4x4's too.

I think your decision is a wise one. It would all be so much easier with another adult with you.

I think it would be more correct to say "there are 4pm coaches" *Anna*. I've regularly counted 11 coaches parked on Townley rd at school pick-up time.

sharp intake of breath - I can only imagine that you're joking MitchK?

Why out of the question candj? We went to France on the ferry when I was 38 weeks with my last one. It was fine, in fact being on the ferry meant I could move about & stretch a bit rather than being confined to a small airplane or train seat. Also the kids could run about, play in the play zone, & generally be entertained rather than being cooped up in a train, plane, or car. The ferry journey was only an hour, but I wish it had been longer (& I'm not a good sailor) as traveling by car was much harder for me at that stage. Does your daughter have daytime naps still, if you do the 45minute ferry option can you time part of the drive so that she'll nap during it? I found mine could (can) all do about 2 hours in a car then they needed a break. If you broke up the 4hr car journey into 2x 2hr journeys it might be more do-able? I think though I'd consider whichever plan gives you least time in the car. And having defended strongly the ferry option, I have to say in your case I'd probably go for the plane, but buy your daughter a seat too (cos you won't fit her on your lap!). I had sensibleman with me the whole time, so it made the ferry really do-able, doing it on my own though, hmmmm, well that's a different matter . . . Good luck with whatever you do.

Huggers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh no! it has been so dangerous for school > children to cross this crossing in the morning > without any obvious indicators of when it is safe. Oh Huggers, you were so right. you said at the beginning of the thread that it was dangerous to school kids. And now you've been proved right in the worst way possible. What a terrible tragedy for the little girl & her poor family. :( (sorry Huggers - Pm'd this to you by mistake)

Nope, not rising to the bait. I will not bite, I will not bite. (goes off muttering to self).

Don't get me started ITATM!

Oh that poor little girl, and her poor poor family. Sensibleman heard it on LBC too. They'll certainly be in our thoughts and prayers. Poor truck driver too. What an awful tragedy.

Phew - thanks taper. I can sleep easy in my bed again!

I was wondering that too Jah? Where on earth is East Dulwich Park? Also, if it's the London recumbent bikes in Dulwich Park you mean, then they've been running a few good years now & I think if their death rate was creeping up we would have heard about it! I agree with other posters. You share the world you live in - this creates an element of risk to it whether you're an adult, child, cat or dog. A poor whinge really pinkcustard. Sorry. No sympathy here.

Very succinctly put Craigy, good advice too.

Also be aware that Stella doesn't do births, just antenatal care (does she do postnatal visits too?). So if it's continuity of care from start to finish you're after you might want to research some of the the other groups (Brierly, Lanes & Oakwood). But be quick, they're popular and places go alarmingly quickly.