dulwichmum

Wanders elegantly into quiet room, singing to self. "Gosh I look stunning in a full skirt. I don't think that the red suits you though Michael..." http://www.clown-ministry.com/images/white-christmas-danny-kaye-bing-crosby.jpg

My cute little doggie is a force to be reckoned with - rather like his mistress. Anyway, I couldn't fit that great big porker in my handbag unless I wanted the biceps of a prop forward!

http://www.dogguide.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/jackrussell.jpg "Speaking of "tagnuts", Batdog here hasn't had his supper, go get him boy..."

"Loofah Mr Popadopalus, and bring this with you too!"

To the showers with you!

Dear Michael, I think you will in fact find that it is a picture of you dressed up as a laydee, and the caption should read something along the lines of; "Please Michael, would you wash your pits and use some lifeguard? The overpowering stench of cabbage is terrifying the livestock"

Dear SimonM, Send the wreath to the Quiet Room, where Michael will be lying in (a) state... My caption; "OHMYGOD, Michael! You could almost have passed for a lady if it were not for the overpowering smell of cabbage"

Thank you kindly sir, you really are my knight in shining armour. I wonder if Batdog will ever return (sigh)...

*Waves hand from beneath favourite chair where I have been lying in a drunken haze since yesterday evening* "OHMYGOD! I drank so much of that free Champagne - where has the time gone! Please Michael, help me to my feet..."

Could I pour a splash of Baileys in that for you?

Oh God Zebedee Tring, for once I am speechless. This just puts everything in perspective. That must be the worst and most crushing event that could ever happen. I apologise, sometimes I cannot help myself, I just like being a bit controversial. I hope that Christmas is not too difficult for you.

I love this forum! You guys crack me up.

I am looking forward to it! I shall be practicing the words until then. Has anyone got a song sheet they could let me have?

If you didn't visit this fair today, you have missed out on something super special. My children loved the Santa in his special grotto at Thatch and Co, and the Ice Queen on stilts and her outragous elf were a scream! There was free Champagne in the garden centre (well this is West Dulwich darling) and the mulled wine flowed outside Threshers. Everyone was on top form and we even bought our Christmas tree and had our au pairs face painted (it took three of us to hold her down - perhaps we drank too much... hic!). I have bought some super organic bread and cheese, and the hog roast was perfect. I am off for a quick lie down before supper (sigh).

Darling DC! How very kind. Can I offer you an olive with that drink?

Dear Caron, You really should try Dulwich Books on Croxted Road, it is just fabulous. I spend hours in there, the imaginative window displays, engaging layout and terrific staff just draw you in. I know it might seem a little out of the way for some in East Dulwich, but it is well worth a trip. A local treasure. Chener is a useful resource, but it could be fabulous.

Oh Brendan, indeed - WestEastDulwich! I shall be looking out for you. I am just putting the final touches to my pedicure and then I shall parade around the shops sans enfants and purchase a selection of strangely shaped veg from the farmer's market. Michael, it will take more than a Winchester long rifle to fight me off with my enormous turnip!

*Smiles to self, stands up and has a lovely stretch. Trots off for a shower* *Thinks to self "it is the West Dulwich Fair today, hurrah" (it really is terribly good fun!)*

How very dare you Ratty! It is divine over here, we are terribly cultured, why even the muggers drive Volvo's...

Why not come over to West Dulwich today (from 10am-4pm) to see how the other half live! There will be the most super farmers market and Christmas Fair, with live music, face painters, mulled wine and mince pies, Father Christmas in his grotto, the Snow Queen and her elf, delicious hog-roast and veggie roast, music by James Allen's Girl School and special offers in all of the shops!!! Hurrah! I shall be hiding in Cafe rouge on the au pair and my darling munchkins if anyone cares to join me for a glass of Chablis or two... http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2169/2094401341_34922648a0_o.jpg

I have been looking at this site for the last 28 hours, wondering why I couldn't download this track and I have only just managed to... OHMYGOD!!! It is stunning! Well done.

Lightly pads into quiet room, realises that Jah Lush has lowered the tone substantially by turning it into a drug den - summons the local constabulary by text. Sits quietly into favourite chair, and watches as he is pounced on by large very muscular men in special uniforms and escorted to a place where he shall be unable to powder his nose for some considerable time... "What a shame, he seemed like such a nice person...it is the family I feel sorry for"

I am sure she did. God only knows how low she would stoop. Bagpuss78 would never hurt a soul, and she stole her man. Shame on her and her dress made from stolen popples!

In the name of God Michael! Shame on you for lowering the tone...

I am sure she is! I just know that she is breaking Bagpuss78's heart, and how could she. Bagpuss78 has never felt this way about anyone before, and I think that it is most unfair...