dulwichmum

I have just been to Sainsbury's, and they were selling "Vanilla Risotto with Rhubarb compote"... My mother was laughing so loudly - I feared they would call security! Apparently, in olden days it was called rice pudding with rhubarb jam!

This is filth - shame on the lot of you. You know Mr Batdog is back in town don't you? He will have the lot of you. He really is the most clever and handsome forumit, and he has big shiney teeth!

OHMYGOD!!! You have returned!!! I need to lie down, I can feel one of my heads coming on... You made my heart skip a beat when I say you signed in - but first let me explain! I am a working mother - did I not say? I thought we were at The Penthouse together? I thought we understood eachother? I feel sure that we have met!

Fair enough Mr Buzzard, I understand that concept well...;-) It is just that people seem to think that simply because we are stinking rich, it is ok to take a pop at us...(sigh).

Dear Mr Buzzard, Indeed there are nappy changing facilities. They had one of those great big plastic thingies in the ladies toilets. The staff were so perplexed at your lack of interest in availing of it, that they removed it from the toilet and set it up (eagerly) next to you in the bar area. When the bar filled up it was subsequently placed on a bench and table outside the bar and was carried away by robbers. Shame on you Mr Buzzard. I am sure they will install another changing facility forthwith... Indeed Chavwivalawdegree, you say you don't like classism and yet on another thread you said... "I also think you lot all went on the defensive cos none of you can kick a ball straight. When the oil runs out and climate change hits, there won't be the kind of civilisation you lot are propped up by now. If you can't build your own house, grow your own food or protect your land, you are gonna be in trouble." What would you say the above quote indicates then sweetie?

Dear Mr Buzzard, We dined at the Rosendale today, and if you will allow me to be completely candid, your baby stank the place out. The waiters actually gave you bad service as they wanted you to clear off. There is indeed ample room to change a baby's nappy, but as you seemed unwilling to sort the infant out, despite several hints, we (the customers) unanimously agreed that you should not be allowed to join us in the fine dining area and should be served only grilled black pudding and chips. Darling - you were in West Dulwich today, please remember to behave yourself accordingly.

"Loud" churches are not all black. Have you never heard of the Charismatic Renewal? I wish I hadn't heard of them, but they have been clapping loudly at every family event I have attended for years. Look around.

Dear Maurice, My mother and her chums park in an antisocial manner outside a church on a regular basis. I have not joined into this thread because I thought it was about her. She is not African. She is Irish. She is one of the loudest churchy religious types you could ever hope to avoid. Fact... Brenda not only attends her own parish church in Beckenham, she also hangs out with a group of anti social Roman Catholics at St Thomas Moore in Lordship Lane. Have you ever seen The Reverend Ian Paisley on TV? He is terrified of my mother...FACT. Have you ever been to an Easter Vigil or a Christmas Midnight Mass? They do not confine their worship to normal office hours either. Fact. Can I suggest that if you have a problem with our African community or any other ethnic group, you take it somewhere else. The Forum will not accommodate racism.

"Ah well, if nothing will upset you Mr Palaeologus, I shall use these spare corporate entertainment type tickets for the World Cup Final to light this pretty tea light on the mantle piece. I am sure there are lots of spare tickets, just lying about all over the place. James had said I could pass them on to a chum." *Lights tickets with a match, lights Diptique candle with paper and tosses burning paper into cavarnous fire place* "Look how brightly they light." *Stands back and admires the pretty colour as the paper sizzles in the fire place...*

*Underneath big gun in handbag, finds small but dangerous dog, sharpening his teeth with a nail file* *Places small dog on floor and says "Go get him Mr Batdog..." "Covers eyes as Mr Palaeologus loses his undercariage!"

"For once Michael, I am speechless..." *Takes big gun from handbag...*

OHMYGOD!!! PechamRose! Don't lets dwell on the nipple clamps... We could end up on the cover of the South London Press... again!

In the name of God! Where did those chips come from?

In the name of God ... Mr Mockney - is that some sort of vile perversion?

Darling Michael, How ever could you come out with such a thing? I am a married lady after all... Or am I? ...er hold on, I read her book and I really don't have the first clue what nipple clamps are for, and as for her entry on fisting... OHMYGOD - boil these people in oil ... Doh! You don't suppose I will end up mis-quoted again do you???

Darling LuvPeckham, I cannot join in the conversation during the day as my employer will chop off my... internet connection.

Indeed Mr Brendan, I like to think of my name as a nom de caviar. Do you smoke roll-ups yourself?

I am not seeking fame with my blog. I am simply a retired brickie from Penge with an active imagination... My blog provides me with a creative outlet, nothing more. I have an active imagination, and blogging helps me to spend less time smoking roll ups (Old Shag) and fawning over my snake/scorpion/great big hairy spider collection. I am hoping to sell the screen rights, and wish to turn Dulwich into the next Notting Hill - just to upset the locals. Watch this space...

Indeed she would, but she is busy polishing the coal.

*Thinks to self - "You boys are so predictable! You like to dress like a ladies, play around with the hired help and then become incredibly particular when it comes to bar snacks..."*

PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT SPIDERS!!!

My husband said I needed help when my first son was born... So I employed a fully time house-keeper and live in nanny and it has been substantially better ever since ... (sigh)

*Smirks at Michael and orders him a Martini* *Texts Ana (au pair) to bring along a dress from James's stag do wardrobe (at least I hope that is what it is for!) for Michael to wear* *Offers Michael a bar snack (deep fried shredded Paecock beak)*

Mmm I fancy the Hairy paw pie with giblets! I can cook up a great peacock beak here at home...

We had a meal there a couple of weekends ago with friends, and the food and wine list was really outstanding. It is definitely more on a parr with fine dining than gastropub, and if you consider The Rosendale in those terms, it is a bargain. The service was amazing.