maxxi

Ah yes, then the 'experts' turn out to be... British Gas (anxious to prove their own energy saving credentials by pointing the finger elsewhere) and the sample pubs they looked at were in... Scotland (it's cold there) and the assumption about a 'small city' is based on British Gas's estimate of how many pubs would buy a patio heater, then suppose they bought two - I mean what kind of crappy science is this? Oh yes - The Mail's kind of crappy science. I suppose the heat that keeps non smokers warm IN the pub is totally carbon neutral is it? It's also true that if every pub got all their punters who smoke to stop coming to the pub and so were able to get rid of the patio heaters then they could all close down through lack of revenue and turn into nice flats for nice young non-smokers. It's bad enough we have to smoke outside now leave us the fuck alone!

The artist formally known as *Bob* wishes to announce that full-blown Jazz exposure has occurred and, while he finishes his jazz ciggy, he is to be known as *BeBob*.

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Does anybody else like to stimulate the anus with > a large vibrating egg, with the cricket on the > background? > > Or is it just me? And is you ejaculatory cry the traditional "Owzat!?" or the more modern and spicier "Ow Izeeeee!?" (Which is either followed by drinks and a change of ends if successful or an 'ooooh' of disappointment and a return to the 'crease' if the umpire shakes her head).

Enjoyed Shadow Line but find The Hour just too dull - am catching up with Spiral: The Butcher of La Valette recorded back in April. Very hand-help shaky camera thingy going on but it seems to work - maybe because they're all French and constantly shrugging and gasping (in a dynamic manner) in exasperation at the way things are going.

Hurrah! Only 116 days to Lancashire Day! *goes to bed to dream about barm cakes*

... garden overgrown, two separate granny flats (or 'nads') and exact size of house varies depending on mood.

My mother used to make large roasting-tin-sized puds that rose and undulated so they looked like frozen seascapes - and a slice of cold y.pud with blackcurrant jam was a Sunday tea staple.

The co-op have the HP Guinness fiasco next to the Jack Daniels barbecue sauce error, so ones impotent anger can be contained in a small area.

Ohhh, you mean a fellah whose mum left him the house?

(und herauf Schei?enebenflu? ohne ein Paddel)

You'll want to get him in a month or two before then Nette for the gavage to be effective. Avoid the temptation to feed him up by using meat though as that will curdle his pale pink flesh.

Alan Medic Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Did I mention that this guy's mother works for the > company too? Now it's like an episode of Tales of the Unexpected and AM will turn out to be the only one NOT fiddling the company. When the bosses find out they will stab him with an invoice-spike and burn him at the stake/novelty--70s-hatstand Mwahahahahahah! *cue music and dancing babe*

...you long since moved to Wimbledon

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Alan.. you're leaving in a month and it doesn't > even sound like it was a proper job anyway. > > Go out in a blaze of glory and unmask the thief at > your leaving drinks, delivering your evidence with > pre-prepared powerpoint presentation underscored > by a pulsing dark techno soundtrack. Yes, yes... ignore ALL the other advice and do this. And film it.

so... to stick to the point... If Trott is a no-show do you keep Tremlett AND Bresnan as previously suggested or drop Bresnan for a replacement batsman (after he got five) or drop Tremlett for same reason? And who, if not Bopara, do you bring in? The only other name mentioned on TMS was James Hildreth of Somerset but feeling seemed to be (well GB's 'informed' opinion) he's not a Test batsman. As for others, my county knowledge is scant indeed so any suggestions?

Dammit - Boycott has just agreed with me... I can't have thought it through properly...

They have it at Sainsburys DKH. ETA: I know what you mean (bloody HP and Guinness) but the Lea & Perrins special edition AND Marmite XO are IMHO both worth the trouble and expense of tracking them down.

The trouble with the XO is that it is stronger and much thicker so you're meant to use it sparingly which means the jar lasts twice as long - but it is so delicious you smear it on as thick as ordinary Marmite and go into a yeast-extract-induced trance. It's like using the Flying Goose Chilli Sauce (previously discussed) not in little droplets to enhance ones chosen snack but in bloody great trails like ketchup. Result is a burning but sated smile and a chilli-induced trance. However if your situation means Marmite is an exotic import then you may have to settle for the local brew... I can hear the dull brown-ness of Vegemite calling...

You're missing the big picture... Marmite XO http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2010/mar/05/marmite-toast-xo-yeast-extract *drools all over HP memo*

Broad is improving as a batsman and Bresnan will get confidence from his knock. If you bring in another batsman for Trott (if injured) then do you leave Bresnan out? Or Tremlett? I would be tempted to go with the squad as is (i.e. play Tremlett and Bresnan) for one test and rethink it when Trott's recovered. Now Bresnan has a fivefer how can you leave him out?

You're right but I have been seduced by Marmite XO (in glass jar) and so am giving them time to rethink their doomed plastic-squeezy approach to yeast extract containers for now. HP are already in trouble with that bloody guinness fiasco so they're up first.

Excellent news... now where's that memo to HP...squeezy bottles indeed!

Didn't Fred Trueman used to say it at the end of 'Indoor League' back in the 70s? "I'll sither!" meaning I'll see thee?

The way things are going Cook would probably get a hat trick too! Good fielding move for Cook's catch and good bowling by Bresnan means there's a dilemma for next test - do you drop Bresnan after a fine performance or bring Tremlett back and - with the batting strong and deep - drop Trott?

Laddy Muck Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Ted...Nette has slightly parted her nets for > you... I think that's enough innuendo and euphemisms isn't it? Oh, Come on!!