maxxi

There is no science that can help unless it is psychology. This information comes from the "Advice to Carer Volunteers" (responsible for looking after students who get drunk and need help to get home) at St John's College, Cambridge. The kind of drunk you get depends on the kind of mood they are in before getting there. The kind of mood they are in will determine their chosen means of transport. e.g. 1. If they are feeling wildly celebratory then a pint of mild or a brown and bitter may not cut it. They will have champagne and, because they are celebrating, drink too much of it without eating or drinking water to help rehydration. They will be 'gaily' drunk and have a grand headache in the a.m. which they will decide was worth it. 2. If they are angry/fed up they may hit the top shelf and drink with a vehemence that means they end up at the same destination but with more spite/vindictiveness to the fore than philanthropy. They will end up with a headache for the same reasons as 1. but it will be accompanied by shame at the memory of their misanthropic demeanour and worry about what it might have led them to. 3. If they are in a normal 'wanting-a-drink-or-two-with-the-lads' frame of mind they will choose beer/lager which - by dint of the volume of liquid (and the company they are in) - will take longer for them to reach their destination (with more pit stops) and the transition will be more manageable and one they are well used to, so much so that they may even vary their choice of ill-advised take-away from kebab to curry to chinese to pizza etc. 4. Wine is drunk to try and convince the people their OH has invited to dinner that they are civilised and is rarely of sufficient quality for them to truly enjoy so is rather gulped down like slightly off-tasting Ribena. This leads to a feeling of resentment that it isn't a cold beer and, because of its dryness, causes them to drink more to assuage their thirst and, of course, to eat a lot of funny looking/smelling cheeses. This means they often arrive at their destination without knowing how or when they got there, just that they are there now and wish everyone else would fuck off home so they could go to bed. Oh, and the bottle/can thing is all in the mind.

Or serving time for chewing gum offences

RosieH Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Last seen in Lymeswold up to his neck...

Frankito Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I have been bottling big dog urine for some time > now, It's nice to have a hobby.

Iceland (who else) are doing the same - sanctions - including a ban on all fish products from both countries - being talked of as the only answer.

And I'm an atheist but I'm not going to campaign to try and persuade churches in the area to stop catering for the locally deluded. I am happy to let them kneel down and murmur all they please - so either campaign to have FG made illegal through parliament etc. or leave it - and local businesses that may want to serve it - alone.

Re the serious OP, I have heard all these statements on booze in the past: "I can't drink whisky - it makes me 'fighty'" "If I drink red wine I fall asleep" "Gin turns me into a loony" "If I get drunk on cider I could be missing for days" "Another couple of these and I'll need a kebab" "Guinness gives me a rotten headache" Eventually I bought her a Malibu.

Frankito Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Shoot.... I can't blame fat-fingering for that...! snork snicker phnarr! Please, we're supposed to be grown ups.

Beer Googling - a brand new term referring to the crap you think is interesting - and so insist on posting links to - when 3 sheets to the wind but which, when viewed in the harsh noonday light, turns out to be so dull it's ugly.

Resting in the Quiet Room and waiting to see if anyone misses him? *Okay, who had Franki at 26 days?*

I believe it was their favourite Post Gestive TIPple... La Premier Th? Anglais no? Or has television been lying to me again? Now I'll never get that piano shifted.

RosieH Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > silverfox Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > > > the odd > > butterfly on a misshapen cellulite buttock > aren't > > going to help him put bread on the table. > > Nice casual misogyny silverfox. You chose your > forum moniker from a sense of irony or genuine > egomania? Phew! For a moment there I thought it was MY arse he was talking about - okay a butterfly with Richard Nixon's face IS a bit odd but cellulite?! I had just been sitting on a gravel path is all.

Not to mention all that tea they used to get through.

Either way we shouldn't eat too much of them. FSA guidelines recommend only 2-3 portions (of any oily fish) a week because of dioxins in the fish (wild or farmed) caused by industrial pollution. Oily fish attract/absorb much more of this poison than non-oily fish which is safer to eat in greater amounts.

Damn, I hate those cold callers.

veggie fundamentalists are the worst - they won't even eat lamb's leaf lettuce, cow parsley or beef tomatoes.

Does this mean we're getting a TK Maxx or not?

Buses that travel down this road keep stopping - and all at the same place! what's going on?

Shouldn't Foxtons have been told?

With the curry club seemingly going great guns and edf drinks re-establishing themselves, surely there is an opportunity for an 'EDF Friday'? Way I see it is: forum drinks followed by a ruby. Or, snaring another thread, a pub/curry house crawl - pint in one, bhaji in next, another pint, chicken pakora, pint, poppadoms and samosas, pint, chicken naga, pint, etc.. *and no, not culminating in a pavement pizza that the camera club could photograph and display on NorthX Rd!*

I prefer to weave all over the shop - just to keep others awake.

Alan Medic Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Will Junior be allowed in? Not until he's finished sewing all those sari blouses.

stoppit stoppit stoppit!!

Loz Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I bet a few punters will be hoping they are > crushed and devalued... I presume you mean their pingpong balls?

If not then I hope there is at least some Treacle involved.