Gosh, that's horrible - Mockney. I am so, so sorry. I honestly don't know what to say to you as - thankfully - I have never been in that situation. However, I do have 3 friends who currently have cancer. Two are now in remission and doing really well whilst the the third is undergoing her third course of chemo. Whether any of them would have made it thus far without chemo is anyone's guess. Not the same situation, I grant you, but a while ago, I helped look after an elderly/disabled lady who wanted to end her life at Dignitas. For years, another friend and I tried to put her off the idea. We actually succeeded in prolonging her life for a few more years; but, at the end of the day, she went ahead. It is only recently that I have begun to think that - perhaps - I should simply have respected her wishes from the outset. Christ! this is not an easy matter for you to reflect on. Chemotherapy can have some really vile effects on the body. Some fear it more than the cancer itself. Having said that, I can fully understand why you wouldn't wish to watch your mum go without conventional treatment. You love and care about your mum: simple. Just as I loved and cared for this old lady. Sorry I can't give you anything more practical, but my very best wishes go out to you and your mum. BIG HUG. x