BBW, it's very clear from your posts that you love and in many ways are in awe of your father. It sounds as though he has a very definite view of what his place is in the family, and what his rights are - and that you too either consciously or unconsciously are reinforcing that view. Dad treats your home as his own? You react exactly as you might expect a child to - by being cheeky and flicking a rubber band at him. The adult part of you is furious that he treats you as a child, but the child part of you invites him to. Sounds as though he could still beat you in a fight, and if that's your criterion for who gets to be top dog in your home, then I suggest you let him have the chair. But if you really want to be the adult, you need to stand up to him on your own terms. And maybe buy an ashtray.