*Bob*

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > C'mon Tim....no photos *Bob*? That one (previously posted) was the only one I had. It was on the front page of his website. An unusual choice, I thought.

Whimper, cower... I am privy to a great becoming, but I recognize nothing. I am a slug in the sun. I am an ant in the afterbirth. It is my nature to do one thing correctly.. tremble. But, fear is not what I owe you. I owe you awe.

Into the semis goes the hump-backed, boggled-eyed pigeon-toed Jock! Can Tim do it?!

Our cat is a merciless killer. Her sadistic pleasures know no bounds. Many have succumbed to her evil clutches. I'm new to cats. The mice thing is great. Not particularly happy about the bird. The frog was a particularly low point. What's the done thing to do? Get a bell for the cat and poison the mice? Leave her to her evil sport, with a shrug whilst mumbling something about instinct and nature blah blah? (no twaddle about humane traps or sonic repellers please)

Let's not confuse irritating, petty beaurocracy - like not being able to have a picnic with a bottle of wine in the park - with stuff like parking tickets, car-clamping, speed cameras and other such Clarkson-Brigade fodder. They aren't the same thing. Tone, you can order a tax disc online in less than a couple of minutes these days, and have it delivered to your door, free of charge. You also get ten days or two weeks grace (can't remember which) from the date of expiry of the disc as an extra privilege if you do it this way. Modern life isn't always rubbish.

I don't think I can, Dave. Essentially it comes down to who has the biggest, coolest computer. I expect Ted probably has 'STP' stickers and on his and everything.

Ted Max Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "Human excrement" tough guy, please. Yeah? YEAH??! You want some? EH?!!

I might just have a 'French Wash' anyway - get the worst off.

Will I be allowed to tidy my bedsit before the 'Hello' snapper gets here?

That would be much less fun though, Ted. Seriously though.. I have some acquaintances also 'big in coding'. They too have skateboards, eat sushi and do other 'cool' things too.. in an effort to sprinkle a touch of fairy-dust glamour around the sheer tedium of doing a job that, quite frankly, no-one gives two tits about apart from the small group of other people who do exactly the same thing. All borderline Aspergers, of course, but then that comes with the territory. At least they do seem to have avoided the delusional God-complex that SKS has acquired - but then they probably didn't quite spend all their formative teen years in a darkened bedroom, bumming themselves with a Quick-Shot II and dreaming of 'a life in computing' (an oxymoron). Isn't this fun! Trading insult on the internet.. ooh, hang-on, that's just for the morons innit. Oh yeah.. Dammit...I'm late for my shift at the toilet brush factory now.

Oh dear. You've gone and soiled yourself again. You should never try and blow yourself off on an internet forum - it always gets messy. Well done RE award-winning computer spoddery. The tin cup will sit nicely on top of your monitor. You can look at it whilst you beat off to code. Au revoir!

PROSouthwark Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I know one such family. A single mum and her > teenage daughter, who just had a baby. I suggest you drop a few leaflets around about contraception. Knowledge is power - I'm sure you'll agree.

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Can I just jump in here, and ask people to STOP > quoting entire posts in order to supply a one line > comment. It is really annoying (much in keeping > with this thread I guess). ok

Indeed. Let's say, for example, we are discussing the particulars of disabled access at a particular train station. By way of an analogy, I might hold-up, say, a hard-boiled egg - and then ask you to imagine that station not as a train station, but as a hard-boiled egg. See? It's not difficult. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who understands me.. jeez

I went past there last week and there were three hundred plasterers sitting outside. It was quite a sight, I can tell you.

And what about those moon landings eh? Eh?!

Don't worry - just leave it for another five pages, then say it again. Double the glory.

These cakes lost their charm when they stopped having the advert voiceovers done by a paedophilic old man. I think he went over to Werthers Original in the end.

Indeed. You can also find this information a hundred years ago, back on page one: Huguenot Wrote (back on page one - a hundred years ago: ------------------------------------------------------- > So logically, it's only a marketing gimmick. > Sainsbury's obviously feel they retain more > business from a valuable customer base by having > them there.

But enough about me - this is all about you. Why are you driving these days? Where do you holiday? Any plans to buy any property, apart from the ones we already know about? I know so little about you - beyond occasional self-aggrandising statements and that video of someone being shot in the head - for real - that you embedded but had to remove. Tell us more.

Ha Ha If only you knew.

Not before the watershed.

(raises hand)

Did he have a comically over-inflated sense of self-importance too then?

Post of the day?