*Bob*

Didn't your wife refuse to marry you unless you got proper haircut, Keef?

I mean, come on.. None of the hairdressers in the area even have any Japanese staff, if you can believe that!

But GUYS, how can it be a proper haircut unless you have a ten minute chat about it before the cut starts, everyone in the salon has at least one unusual piercing, funky art hangs on the walls and the music is Very Cool? Jeez.

I've just had a dump. More to follow.

Thank God I've got work to keep my life interesting! I'm currently working on a new series called 'What Gay Men Waste Their Money On, Pointlessly' Fascinating stuff.

It's too late for me, James. I'm just an ugly, single, bald loser with halitosis, wending my way towards the grave.

You can't polish a turd, James, even if you spend ?30-?40 on polish - whilst tediously cool music plays on a stereo.

Everybody can be devastatingly handsome and chatted-up by thousands on the internet, James. All we know for sure is that you throw money down the drain to look 10% better - for half a day.

If you're particularly ugly, have 'problem hair' or perhaps a mis-shapen head, then I agree you might need to pay a little more, James.

James Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Go somewhere fashionable in East London or the > West End. And expect to pay around ?30-40. Haircut Mug

http://kempfolds.blogspot.com/

Let's not beat around the bush here. Jimi's post for THE CLIPPER reads like an office-scripted 'recommendation' found at the foot of the page on one of those infomercials you see at the back of the Radio Times. Anyway, as I say, I like THE CLIPPER, and I do appreciate the chocolate lime afterwards - but just think it's a bit expensive. So, on balance, I'm prepared to let it pass and not make a big deal about THE CLIPPER. A. Mills, Porchester.

I'll do anything you want me to, Jimi. I'll even try not to mention your blatant plug for the clipper (that's THE CLIPPER, on North Cross Road) - because I like them. The Clipper

I admit I'm prepared to pay a little more for 'no talking'. But I might spread my wings and try the other place. I think the guy in The Clipper who does 'really fast hands' has the edge on 'the polo mint cruncher', cut-wise.

Have you tried the new place on LL yet? (the New Threat to Clipper's business) I like the clipper, but I think ?14.50 is a bit steep for a basic cut though (which is what they do) and I've had a couple of not-so-hot basic cuts in there, so I might try The New Place. Not sure where the 'service' bit is that you speak of, Jimi? You go in, sit down, wait, get a haircut, pay and leave. You get a sweet - is that what you mean? I've never been offered a shoe-shine, advice on matters of the heart or something for the weekend. Not yet, anyway. You get a beer in the one on Barry Road.

Unfortunately it's often all to easy to identify the people who were wearing suits who you wanted to avoid even when they're in mufti. I think they're called 'bell-ends'.

If I walk into a pub populated by people in suits, I try to get out as quickly as possibly. Nothing personal about the people in the suits individually, but suits en masse = a load of people tenuously connected by a workplace they despise, feeling obliged to go out for a drink with colleagues in order to drone on about what happened in the office that week and perhaps try to get off with someone which undoubtedly they will come to regret come Monday morning.

Yep. Case closed.

It's the very latest fad in internet put-downery. ie - your essay mark.

(Louisa-Jeremy) x Sean = Keef

Domitianus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Have we any reason to suppose it didn't? Has Daizie form? Only insofar as having spent a previous life on the forum making-up unsubstantiated spurious nonsense for the purposes of 'fun' and backing them by using different user names in order to pretend to be several people who were all in agreement, rather than one person who was simply 'full of shite'.

So no 'Saved by the Bell' - instead, television was 'Ruined by Bell-Ends' for weeks to come.

Elvis - n/a Diana - Sitting in a golf course bunker, a little light-headed after a party in some deserted mansion somewhere in North London. I was heartbroken, because I knew comedown television would certainly be ruined as a result. Jackson - awoken by a text from my brother which poignantly said "Wacko RIP".

White Lightning was ruled-out on the grounds that you should never buy any food or drink which offered more than 50% extra free - as standard. For a sustained stint 'down the labour exchange' one must seek-out the harder-to-find beverages in order to expand one's palette. I seem to remember that Blue Ocean smelled faintly of piss when you cracked the seal, but wasn't so bad after you got about two thirds of the way down the bottle.

Having spent a few happy years au dole, I have run 'the cider gauntlet' more than most. I have special memories of Blue Ocean, Barnstormer, and of course, Special Red.