*Bob*

Anyone can shove some malty-flour-with-bits into their machine and retrieve a compact brick a few hours later. But the perfect white loaf is the true test. The Baker's Test.

Can you rise to the challenge? This year, our very own Alan Dale, The Camberwell Curmudgeon, will be judging entries for the coveted award of Best Home-Made Loaf 2008. Entries must be photographed on top of your machine for the purposes of scale. So.. without further adough, weighing-in at 400g.. here is my entry. Your statutory rights are not affected. The management reserves the right to change the rules or lose interest at any point. Smart casual dress only please. The top of your loaf could go down as well as up. Alan Dale? is a trademark.

Perhaps there's a way we could sympathetically update the Co-Op and keep everyone happy? For the long-term residents who simply adore the place, it could continue to sell bread which is stale four days before it ought to be. And for the yuppies, they could sell new-fangled exotic delicacies like, say, garlic. Now.. has anyone seen my filofax?

As a loathesome pushchair-jockey, I'd say that the sliding door of the Co-Op is actually it's USP. Or should that be it's OSP?

MadWorld74 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > what would you have their instead? I like the idea > of a co-op...it's like old times. How about a good Co-Op, instead of a shit one? I hope this comment isn't too bourgeois.

If I don't get a Your Eggsellency? egg this year, there will be hell to pay. Mrs *Bob*.. are you reading me?

The last time I uSwitched, a bloke turned-up from the company I was switching from and attempted to dissuade me. His masterstroke was: "Sir, do you realise that uSwitch is a commercial company.."

Ahhh.. the magic of the Co-Op. Let's take a stroll down there. Push past those empty giant cages permanently obscuring the entrance and you're IN. MARVEL at the unstocked ice-cream freezer chest. PERUSE at your leisure the dreadful selection of wine TRIP over the boxes of good littering the floor waiting to be shelved. WONDER at why they don't sell garlic. ASK why they keep instant coffee behind the till, like it's a box of fireworks. Don't forget to use the cashpoint when you leave.. and then find another one which actually has cash in it.

This price rise will make the headlines everywhere today: print and broadcast - just like all the other times it has happened (either with British Gas or any other company). And yet it will happen again and again. The fact that British Gas are making so much money is not because they are thieving bastards, it's because people are lazy and have the memory span of a goldfish. There's only so many times you can say to people "hey - spend two minutes on the internet or telephone and save ?150!" before you get bored of saying it and lose sympathy.

These days it's less trouble to change your energy supplier than it is to post a complaint about British Gas, innit?

BJL Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Perhaps someone could explain why transporting > natural spring water from France is somehow worse > than transporting wine from Australia, New > Zealand, South Africa, Chile or the USA? Have you tasted English wine?

karter Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > which turkish deli are you talking about *bob*? The one you mentioned that sells bottled water at 49p for one and a half litres. You're right - it does sound a lot better value than the water they sell at the Carling Academy. But I just wondered if the acts they have there are just as good?

Who's playing at the Turkish Deli this weekend?

There are certain plants which hold a few gulps of water in their stems too. Only I don't know what they look like.

It'd be wonderful if there were municipal water fountains available throughout London. But they'd most likely just get vommed in on a Saturday night.

I saw the crappy Panorama Fiji expose (or at least I saw the 'trailer' the Beeb helpfully scheduled in its six o' clock news). I haven't seen much Fijian water myself though. Well done, Beeb! Relevance factor: 0.0000002% of the population. I can't see how it can be 'stupid' buying bottled water, full-stop. I usually fill-up a bottle of filtered tap water on those rare occasions I do manage to leave the house. But if I haven't, or I've run out, I buy a small bottle of bottled water. It beats going home to re-fill, pulling into Sainsbury's just to use their lav, or knocking on a stranger's door and asking them to fill 'er up.

If there's one product which certainly is named beyond lampooning (to coin Sean's phrase), it's got to be Um Bongo, which I'm fairly certain they don't drink 'in the Congo'.

BJL Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Why is it worse than buying cola or other soft > drinks, wine or beer? It isn't. Personally I think it's a minor miracle that teenagers choose to drink water instead of Um Bongo.

I realise that a woman in, say, Chad, may have to walk fifty miles to a well and return with a 50Kg pot of water balanced on her head - twice a day - but I still don't see the relevance. In the UK it's just a commodity like everything else. Personally I think anyone who bulk-buys water in a supermarket and takes it home to take-up room in their fridge must be bonkers, but it's their money. And even if you are a lazy good-for-nothing, 50p for a bottle water every day (if you must) is still 50p better spent than on a can of Quattro or some other tooth-rot.

Haystacks from 4b gave him a rough time - but he always gave as good as he got.

fmay Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- Isn't there a saying about 'size doesn't matter, it's what you can do with it' anyway? It's true.. there is a saying along those lines. It's what girls say to men with small cocks when there's an embarrassing silence. (So I'm told)

What sort of a sweet shop doesn't sell Gray's Herbal Tablets? Very disappointing.

I keep getting emails about gaining inches, not losing them. This is all very confusing for fat men with tiny cocks. I mean.. er... it must be. I wouldn't know, of course.

You should have just taken one home last night and left the others in the pub. Three is greedy.

Surely the british taxpayer's hard-earned would be better spent on investigating more deserving cases rather the Diana crash? I FOR ONE am still not 100% decided as to whether that bear did or didn't sh*t in those woods. And as for that Pope guy.. well.. is he? Or isn't he? Answer me that one, eh?