HonaloochieB

Moos Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I never! > > And it's Moos. Are you a grocer, Luv? Oh, I say Moos. I never had you down as an honest barrowboy-bashing punctuationist. Just goes to show, sometimes even apparent liberal's have their breaking point.

Baby I'm Drunk - The Reverend Horton Heat

Thanks RonnieMama, that one's going on the Mitzvah menu. So who's having what? Oh to flip with it, RM's Christmas Cocktail, and Snowball chasers all round. What's this now? Chris Rea's 'Driving Home For Christmas' Nice. Time for a bit sit down and get us breath back after our exerting worselves with The Wombles.

SeanMacGabhann Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Now, I'm not saying I AM Jesus... that's for you > to think about in the comfort of your own homes... > but if I was Jesus, this is the sort of forum I > would come to isn't it? A small humble forum... > not some loud, vulgar, national place like the BBC > or Times .. And is there not photographic evidence of you being inside the Magdala..? The Daily Express have run a front page on flimsier evidence.

That's the way Rosie, get this snowball down your neck and we'll all dance round LP's beautiful tree. Hurrah!

You Are One Of Us - Mott The Hoople

LuvPeckham Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I just put my tree up - Bl**dy thing will be dead > in a few weeks. Put a tree up!!??? WHAT??? Up your @rse I hope.

LuvPeckham Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I just put my tree up, it looks beautiful. I had to cut the last part of your post LP. It just upset me too much. Come on have a snowball, I'm buying.

Why wasn't Jesus born on the EDF? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Over Under Sideways Down - The Yardbirds

No let's stick with Boho. And speculate on what the decor, music etc will be like. I reckon signs on the door will have to include, 'SQUARE? BEWARE' and 'NO SHADES NO BERET NO SERVICE'

Cheers *Bob*, some b@astard nicked the dart board from the Humbug so it'll come in handy. I'll make sure it gets to look even holier.

Thanks *Bob* I'm going to print off a large copy for Bar Mitzvah. It'll be decked in tinsel and holly and given pride of place behind the bar. It feels as if the festive season has begun in earnest. A happy and holy Christmas to you and yours.

You Nearly Did Me In - Ian Hunter

Michael Palaeologus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I am single. > > I have a fine collection of comics, all in order > and sorted by theme. > > My spare room contains a scale model of the Berlin > S-Bahn system. It is fully operational and runs > ABSOLUTELY on time. > > I iron my own clothes, all of them, especially my > underwear, with starch. > > My kitchen knives are sharpened every Tuesday. > They glitter. > > I have a cactus called Fluffy, he ran away and > then came back. > > Shoes are polished on Wednesdays, never before, > that would be excessive. > > I also had a lactating donkey called Mrs Dobbin. > Dulwichmum killed her in the Quiet Room. > > I am currently building a half scale model of a > Blue Whale from matchsticks. It is taking some > time as I do not smoke. Once completed I hope to > create a diarama combining the S-Bahn with the > Blue Whale. > > I rather like the Tijuana Brass and am looking > forward to playing their Christmas themed long > playing record during the Festive Holiday. On my > own. > > Strangely, I am still single. > > I feel it is time to find a life partner. This > major departure has been stimulated by an > unexpected need. > > I need to fill the header tank of my central > heating system with more water. It is a two person > job. It will need to be refilled regularly, hence > the relationship would be a long term commitment. > > Interested? Touching, needy and at the same time sinister. Fine work from MP.

Keef. Me. Dancefloor. People = Shit - Slipknot. Perfect.

I love seeing people who don't venture into pubs and bars during the year, dipping their toe in the water during the Christmas period. I take pride in helping them when they can't decide what drink they might want, there's such a choice nowadays, isn't there? Almost too much some might say, but we won't 'go there'. So when a group of strangers comes to 'your' pub, think in the spirit of the season and the innkeeper who offered Mary and Joseph a night in the barn. Think about him and improve on his offer, give them the 'stable' environment of your local and send them away with your hosannas ringing in their ears. And if Terry has Mud's Greatest Hits behind the bar, then so much the better.

Frigging bloody bastard once a year drinkers, infesting my watering holes, inserting their malodourous carcasses into chairs that I have come to think of as mine, causing a back up at the bar because their rat-sized brains can't take in the fact that pubs have a choice of alcoholic drinks, the men's clumsy, inappropriate flirting with the young female bar staff (taking bread from the mouths of aging Lotharios, the bastards), trying to make conversation with 'regulars' ('the door is the rectangular thing in the wall behind you, kindly use it') and just the general hogo of twattishness that surrounds them. Bastards.

Well you say 'lower your standards' LP, not really good enough where I'm concerned. EMC would have to renounce them completely to be in with a shout. And I'd never put her through that, we Honaloochies have a strict code in such matters.

You don't need to go that far *Bob*, Westfield at Shepherd's Bush are offering just that 'experience'. Book it here www.madbastardsonbikesinshoppingprecincts.co.uk

Stay With Me - The Faces

April Skies - The Jesus And Mary Chain

April Showers - Al Jolson

People Are People - Depeche Mode

Love Missile F1-11 - Sigue Sigue Sputnick.