RosieH

Two birds with one stone - finally going to go to forum drinks AND check out the Lodge - count me in.

I think Clive Owen said on Jonathan Ross last week that a follow up to Sin City was in the offing.

Ah Mike, Mike, Mike, and here's me thinking it was just that the world is full of intellectually-subnormal chauvinist cunts.

bignumber5 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm just looking at my Facebook list, and I can't > believe that ten of my lady friends have been > raped and/or are suffering domestic violence > > Missing the demographic point a little there H. > I'd say the same about my female acquaintancees, > but the strong confident women that are friends > with a guardian reading nancy such as myself are > not perhaps the most likely demographic. I'm sure > that if your female facebook friends were all > teenage crack-whores then the incidence would be a > tad more than 10%. Anyway, the whole point is that > people don't speak out, so you wouldn't know if > they had. Behind closed doors and all that... Thanks for the support bignumber5, but I genuinely think that a lot of men would be surprised. I'm not writing this in a bid to make anyone uncomfortable or to garner sympathy but in an attempt to open some eyes. My mum, my sister and I have all been victims of domestic violence. A good friend was sexually assaulted by one of her boss's clients. Her boss was also her boyfriend. She told him and expected him to cease doing business with the man who assaulted her - instead he sent her back to do further business with this man because "he clearly liked her". Another friend was sexually assaulted in a nightclub. Another friend suffered domestic violence at the hands of her boyfriend that included having her teeth punched out. None of the above are/were teenage crack whores: all nice, educated, middle-class women. That's 6 women that I know about - how many more that I don't? Additionally, none of the above were reported to the police (and believe me that I wanted to) so I don't think the numbers are likely to be that skewed against men. You can probably tell that this is a subject that is close to my heart. If you think it's not a campaign that's worthy of support, that's your prerogative. But to deny that there's a problem is to be very blinkered, and that's what the shocking statistic aims to counter.

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Women on the other hand should take responsibility > for psychological abuse in general - they are the > masters of that one. Mick - there's no denying that men suffer a huge amount of violence and statistically are more likely than women to be victims of violence - as I said above, it's the nature of the violence that tends to differ. But you're very much mistaken if you think that domestic violence doesn't come hand in hand with psychological abuse - that that's women's territory - typically it starts with psychological abuse and escalates to physical. That is not intended in any way to allow women psychological abusers off the hook - just to say that it's both sexes - abuse of any kind is unacceptable.

Holy sh1t, really? Ha, ok, you're right - I'm busted - I am a b1tch of the first order and god help any poor sod who has to work for me. Truly, every time one of my friends asks me why they need to be a feminist any more, and I tell them that equality is not yet won, I will direct them to this not-intended-to-be-patronising post and remind them that this is from one of the nice guys. Huguenot, I understand your concerns, really - in answer to some of your questions, have a read of the map of gaps report - it's a joint project by the Equality and Human Rights Commission and the End Violence Against Women Coalition (which includes Amnesty and Rape Crisis). The figure comes from there - these are organisations that I trust - however I will delve a bit more later to get a breakdown of the stats and come back to you with that. And Mikecg, way to make a grown up argument!

Poppy, may I suggest you change your name to PoppyUNlucky?

F*ck 'em, they're only men. No wait, hang on, Mikecg, I refer you to the 4th post on the thread.

markeddie, I do believe Rough Trade's music club involves a straightforward subscription to get the latest albums - i.e. your basic buying records transaction, no...? however I'm more concerned by *bob*'s picking up rough trade down Brick Lane way, while also servicing Megan - who is this Megan and how does she feel about his extracurricular activities?

Huguenot (oh, and thank you - I love all your posts too - apart from the ones where you disagree with me!) I fully accept that it's a shocking statistic and that, because of the nature of the crimes, it could be interpreted as an attack on men, but it isn't meant to be. It's not saying that 1 in 10 men commits these crimes, but that 1 in 10 women is a victim of such crimes. That's not just semantics, but a genuine difference. The figure is shocking, but that's because the reality is shocking. And some people do need to be shocked out of their complacency (so that rape is properly reported and prosecuted, out of thinking that domestic violence is a crime only committed by Jeremy Kyle's audience members, out of thinking that FGM couldn't happen here - and certainly out of calling it female circumcision which goes no way to describing the horror and butchery it entails). Shock is what gets people talking about it and thinking about it and hopefully changing things.

Thanks annaj - the campaign is building up to International Women's Day on March 8th. Huguenot, I'm with Anna on not being sure what point you were orignally making, and the relevance to raising awareness of the issue of sexual and domestic violence? If we're talking personal anecdotes, I could counter yours with very personal experience of sustained psychological, domestic and sexual violence, but that wouldn't prove anything either. Just one story in a sea of many - utterly subjective and leading to heightened emotions. This isn't an anti-man campaign. Speaking for myself, I'm rather in favour of men. Nor is it at the expense of man - it's not about saying that violence against men doesn't matter. But it is about raising awareness of an issue that disproportionately affects women, and putting that awareness to good use. For instance, London only has one Rape Crisis Centre, it needs more. edited because I took longer than necessary to post this and missed other posts in the interim

I see your point, and it's a good one. But while it perhaps isn't surprising I do still find it shocking and appalling and despicable and, as such, worthy of comment

pk, I think it goes without saying that everyone on here thinks a rapist paedophile stepfather is disgusting scum. What is even more shocking in this scenario is that the church, which should be a source of succour in times of crisis, is villifying the very people who are trying to help this child.

Nothing to be offended by - think I'd remembered your having used the wording "cnut" elsewhere (although forgive me if I'm mistaken - had had some ale last night and didn't bother to do a search). Was simply meaning that I felt that this was a circumstance that fully warrants that level of language.

Hi KK, according to Rape Crisis the numbers break down as follows: 23% of women and 3% of men experience sexual assault as an adult. 5% of women and 0.4% of men experience rape. (Stats from Cross Government Action Plan on Sexual Violence and Abuse www.homeoffice.gov.uk/documents/ Sexual-violence-action-plan) But the Amnesty campaign goes beyond rape (although internationally it is very concerned with rape as a weapon of war). It also encompasses other acts of violence towards women because they're women, so includes domestic violence and female genital mutilation. Some people may wonder about incidences of domestic violence against males, and I'm not 100% on the stats - I think they're roughly even. But it's the nature of the violence that tends to differ, i.e. more sustained and much more likely to result in injury / death when perpetrated by men against women.

I think only if you were being wobbled by a vibrating tongue at the time.

Each year, 1 in 10 women in Britain experience rape or other violence. Act now http://www.oneten.org.uk Sorry if this annoys some people, being a women-centric campaign (I know the subject's raised heckles before), but I wanted to share this as I think the campaign is really important.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the Fat Duck only has 30-odd covers

Hmm, my excellent geography at work again. Well I've ordered the internet ones, so will let you know when they arrive whether they look normal (and you'd be very welcome to have a look at them if you wanted to - that might be weird, come and look at my feet, but you know what I mean). Back on topic, I will recommend that new Davina stock this kind of stuff - surely that's what the good people of ED are looking for.

I think you should sue him for a free lunch for the forum at one of his places (or maybe some free Finish dishwasher tablets if he can't stretch to that)

yeah, I didn't mean to suggest is a bad thing, although to a relative new-comer (which I like to think I no longer am) it can be a smidge offputting - utterly offset by forum drinks and curry club shenanigans and everything else that goes on. Was just trying to balance the argument that the whole "you're shit", "no you are" debate can be tedious. In truth, I totally pashed all you old forumites when I first joined and wanted to be in your very cool CPT gang (although SMG - you were and remain of course top of the list)

Christ. What can you possibly say in response? Now might be the time for BBW to invoke king cnut. Excommunicated? Well they're well rid of such a despicable fucking cunt of an archbishop and if the pope comes out in defence of this, or arguably worse, keeps quiet, then I can only hope that that signals a death knell for catholicism around the world. Although of course it won't/ There are no words of anger or disgust that adequately express how I feel about this.

Sue, that's very good and if I knew where it was, I'd hie me hence to Bridport (is it in Wales?) - mine were stupidly expensive so the drop in price to Ethletic (or indeed Converse) prices is welcome. Let me know if you find them cheaper elsewhere locally. I did read on another website that the Ethletic ones tend to come up large so to order a size below your normal size, but if your feet are really freaky, that might not help. DM - the only ones I've seen in Stella B are weird Emma Hope ones in velvet with a squared off toe - this cannot be what you mean for it is ugly and you will accept only the finest things in life..? And on the Manolo front, the only way I'd look acceptable in them would be to have my little toe removed - so sticking with my Vivienne Westwoods for now.

Don't talk to me about the Highland Way - gave me pneumonia leading to vestibular neuronitis resulting in lifelong vertigo which has just made the walk home from the Clock House a mite tricksy.

Lost Yorkshire Man, may I recommend that you pick yourself up a copy of the Time Out Book of Walks - all walks within easy reach of London (train from major stations and usually no more than an hour's journey - just enough time to read the paper). The walks all have suggestions of excellent pubs for lunch en route (although beware, I have lost the afternoon to good local ciders in the past and had to taxi the last bit of the walk) - as well as lovely things to look at and cake shops. They also do a walking club, so you can just turn up and meet others if you're going it alone. Can't recommend highly enough