Jah Lush

MrBen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Almost everyone who moans about it now either: > > A: Has never actually been themselves OR > > B: Is one of those "you should have been here in > 1985" types Arf! So true. I fall into the latter category. My one and only experience of Glastonbury in '83 or was it '84? Can't remember and anyway, who cares. I'd been up a few days on the powder before I arrived in the early hours of Saturday morning, took some acid, drank a vat of bloody awful cider, smoked large amounts of marijuana and woke up on Michael Eavis's pool table back at his farmhouse before venturing off to do pretty much more of the same.

Nobody Knows - The Faces

Sprat

Pretty Vacant - Sex Pistols.

Brenda.

Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison

Woman Gotta Have It - Bobby Womack

Tears

Just Like A Woman - Bob Dylan.

Coming In From The Cold - Bob Marley & The Wailers.

Snorks, you must be gutted the Queen's horse didn't win the Derby on Saturday. How much did you lose?

Oh huncamunca, you really are the worse kind of hypocritical, guilt ridden middle class ponce.

Rooney was on a one match ban. He's gonna get the piss ripped out of him for the hair transplant though.

"Outside of a dog a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx.

No.

Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground.

HonaloochieB. Enough said.

Behind The Painted Smile - Isley Brothers.

I'll drink to that. Happy birthday Ian. Quite a week for rock star birthdays this is. Ronnie Wood 64 on Wednesday and Charlie Watts 70 yesterday. Cheers!

Plastic Smile - Black Uhuru

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Racist Where the fecking punchline?

Feck off.

Brother, My Cup Is Empty - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds.

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, and the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs, "Oh, no" he says, "everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!