Jah Lush

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been e xpecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat". After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," sa id Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh, my word!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted

Around The World - Daft Punk

World Shut Your Mouth - Julian Cope

Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones

Street Life - Roxy Music

Got To Get You Into My Life - The Beatles

or her batwings.

Feltz has got a great face for the radio.

Could be a bit of a damp squib then. Shame.

Beardsley at Carlisle would have been about '78 I think. Only guessing mind.

I think Mockney mocks too much.

And nextdoor to a pub.

You take the bait everytime don't you. Could have been anyone but you have blame it on someone else. You can't contain your hatred of anyone who isn't Arsenal. It's always you. You could have fight in an empty room. Same old myopic Atila. Of course I expect your next post to be full of the usual venom and threats and insults and I'm not even gone bother to stoop to your level deign them with a reply unless by some miracle you undergo a personality change and you start to act rationally and behave yourself on this Forum. I live in hope but somehow I really doubt it.

Don't you ever stop Atila? Give it a rest man FFS.

Potato

To Get Down - Timo Maas

Quite right too! And once again I concur with HonaloochieB (this is getting to be a habit). Only five beers in is for the likes of the pathetic Clapamites who visit our lovely Hamlet on Fridays and Saturdays and leave a nasty smell about the place. I'm sure LuvPeckham couldn't wait to get home and finish off a bottle of Woodford's Reserve before bedtime after a late one in The Drum.

Stuff

Sounds like the only thing he's fit for but we'll see.

shit

Doesn't matter whether he's the owner/manager or whatever you can't have idiots like that treating customers in such an appalling manner and I'm sure he'll be upset at losing the 500 quids worth of business. Also, explain to him in your letter that you've posted your thoughts about the contemptuous treatment you received on a local forum and he might just see some sense when it comes to the way his business is run and his customers are served.

I'll concur with you on that front HonaloochieB. Tea is highly important when having a massive fry-up and you'll be needing at least two or three mug fulls as well. Not having sampled to so-called delights of a Franklins full English breakfast myself though but I'm keen to try but I prefer to make my own or head for the nearest greasy spoon.

Tune! Nice guitar sample with four to floor beat. Video's all right. Really like the album when it came out too. Timo Maas - To Get Down

Apart from my father's side of the family being Crystal Palace fans there are a few other reasons why I'd like them to get promoted this season and I think Sheffield United fans might well agree with me. Crystal Palace obviously are one of the more local sides in the area and are managed by Neil Warnock (love him or loathe him). Richard Scudamore is a Bristol City fan and he perpetrated one of the worst football injustices of recent history when he fiddled about while West Ham escaped a points deduction for fielding an ineligible player (Carlos Tevez) and sent Warnock's Sheffield United down last season. So it would be nice for the Premier League's chief executive to get a small taste of what that kind of disappointment feels like. Come on you Eagles!

What Goes On - Velvet Underground