Jah Lush

Me? Messing about, don't be silly Mockers. Anyway, just remembered Paul "Elvis" Chan played at the wedding reception of a friend of mine a few years back and he was bloody fantastic. I wish him a speedy return to good health.

Are you being serious Fish? Do you drink like a fish, Fish? because I could probably put you in touch with a local AA meeting place if you feel you've hit rock bottom and need to address your problem. Otherwise see you down the pub and mine's a pint.:)-D

These catchlines are getting a bit long aren't they. 1. Yes. 2. No.

There already is one.

*Wonders when MW74 is going to come off the wagon* *Slurs "Come on darlin' come an 'ave a drinkypoo* *Falls off stool in fit of giggles*

Sorry, Mockers well spotted, but then you'd know that wouldn't you. Must looks that one up if it's half as funny as the title.

A wunch...I'm guessing here but is it White Urban Neo-Conservative Hoorays?

I've just fallen off my chair with laughter reading that. Brilliant! A marvellous rant for a first-timer to the EDF. You've made my day. Welcome to the forum Strictteacher.

Thanks Incitatus. You won't meet a bigger Bonzos fan than me. I worship Vivian Stanshall and I love the answerphone quote. Also they used to play at the Bird In Hand in Forest Hill. Thanks again. "Can blue men sing the whites or are they hypocrites"

*Pops head in the door and sees MW74 a quivering wreck in the corner of the room* *Sympathises, knows that MW74 is off the sauce and had a bad day at the office *straps on a battered Martin acoustic instead" *Starts strumming an old tune that we can empathise with" *Hope this cheers you up mate, bursts in song* "Blue Monday how I hate Blue Monday You got to work like a slave all day Here come Tuesday, oh hard Tuesday I'm so tired got no time to play Here come Wednesday, I'm beat to my socks My gal calls, got to tell her that I'm out 'Cause Thursday is a hard workin' day And Friday I get my pay Saturday mornin' oh Saturday morning' All my tiredness has gone away Got my money and my honey And I'm out on the stand to play Sunday mornin' my head is bad But it's worth it for the time that I had But I've got to get my rest Cause Monday's a mess *Puts down guitar, blows MW74 a kiss* *Pours self large JD & Coke, slumps in chair*

Oh alright then..well done Arse...I'm sorry it's a real struggle. How about well done all the British teams in Europe last night?

Hey Alan, well done...you're playing some right crap for the old folks today. But as a man who worships at the Presleytarian Church of Elvis The Divine may I suggest you play Kirsty McCall's There's A Guy Works Down The Chipshop Swears He's Elvis, followed by some great stuff from The Pelvis himself like - Marie's The Name, His Latest Flame or Heartbreak Hotel and Always On My Mind. It'll be a good tonic for oldies. Cheers!

Good to see Man Utd struggling already, snigger snigger. Well done Pompey.

Declan, were you an only twin?

There once was a lady called Asset Who enjoyed the Mail's Fred Bassett but her pedandtry to rhyme and get the limericks in line were akin to a borderline fascist.

*Bob*, have you been on the Paedo Grigio again?

It's always my bleeding round, that's why I'm perpetually skint. Anyway, sorry you lot were having a serious conversation weren't you so I'll let you get on with it and I'll go and be silly somewhere else.

I used to see Tom Baker in the Coach & Horses in Soho back in the day, Jeffrey Bernard too, obviously.

Everyone should believe in something and I believe I'll have another drink.

They both do Alan. Enjoy your jolly-up.

What's your team then ratty?

You could always switch channels or read a book though.

Also, it's an ongoing story as it has now gone to court and the accused is pleading his alleged innocence.

Bog Standard more like. It's another crap publication from the owners of the Daily Mail, Associated Newspapers.(td)

I don't know what I want but I want it now!