Jah Lush

We are normal and we want our freedom!

I did a gig in Cardiff once and had a bit of a run-in with the Welsh Mafia. They made me an offer I couldn't understand.

LOL!! You've certainly suffered for your art Keef. DTA is pretty good though.

I've no idea Mark. Being a Spurs fan I usually refer to them as The Scum or Arsene Wenger's Foreign Legion.

Alas, I'm afraid not Mockney, other sports just do not compare to the passion, joy and sheer exhileration I get out of the beautiful game. It's going to be a long summer without it.

Not sure if I can make it yet. But, I could be there in mind if not in body.

You're probably right SimonM, it will be a tough game as you're both in the relegation mire but I feel that Wigan are in freefall and the Blades should survive along with West Ham. We'll see next Sunday though. Anything can happen in football as you probably well know. With no World Cup or Euro Championships to look forward to this summer. I shall be having serious withdrawal symptoms well before next season begins.

Commisserations to any Charlton fans out there but it's one less London derby we'll have to play.

I was lead throat in Public Nuisance.

This is terrible news. Just about all of the pictures hanging in my humble little abode were framed at the Arterie. And a very good job they did too.

My pink half of the drainpipe seperates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life in all it's minute and tedious attention to detail and was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Who cares, for if it wasn't so then I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life and I will baffle you with cabbages and rhinceroses and the kitchen and sets of quotations from Now We Are Six through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So there! all my lunch, Vivian Stanshall

Yes, very good result for both of us last night. Europe beckons for the Spurs again and it's bye bye Charlton. I wouldn't worry too much about the Hammers game at Old Trafford because I think Sheffield Utd will stuff Wigan and, well after the result against Bolton at the weekend I reckon you're pretty safe. Best of luck though, just in case.

My pink half of the drainpipe I may paint it blue My pink half of the drainpipe keeps me safe from you...

A young woman in London was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Thames. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said: "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the mroning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added: "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later however, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the Captain replied, "this is the Woolwich Ferry."

Welcome to the Forum ruffers. I'm on Melford Road too but I certainly wouldn't be seen dead in the Harvester. Awful place, should turn it back into the Grove Tavern as it originally was.

The management at the Dulwich Woodhouse changed hands a few years back and unfortunately since then the standards in the restaurant part of the pub have dropped dramatically. You can still get a good pint though.

If you go back earlier in this post you'll see that the Italian restaurant in question opening up on Forest Hill Road is the good people of Lorenzo's in Crystal Palace who are opening a new branch of their esteemed eatery where the Two Trees used to be and Hurrah! to that.(tu)

Perhaps he was suffering from Gingervitis?

Forget to mention that one, Keef. I can drink all the fishes under the table.

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Kenyan refugees. I write award winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and Godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. I cook thirty minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I had trials with Manchester United Football Club and am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have appeared in "Through The Keyhole" and won the Nobel Peace Prize. Last summer I toured eastern Europe with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. I run the 100m in 9.65 seconds. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only some vegetables and a Breville toaster. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in Madrid, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and chess competitions in the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet. I have performed open heart surgery and I have spoken with Elvis but I have never been to Bluewater. .

It will have to be a good thing otherwise it won't survive. The last couple of times I went in there it was terribly disappointing.

Yes, good idea DM. Vote insanity, you know it makes sense.

Probably earlier than that. I lived on Lacon Road, just off Northcross in '86 and I'm pretty sure it was the 7-11 then, can't remember what it was before but you're probably right. The early 80s are a complete blur for me as I was off my tits for most of it.

No, that was a Co-op Keef, surely?

Bad news indeed. Tescos exercising their corporate might again, it's not something we really need at this end of Lordship Lane is it? Man the barricades now!(6)