Ladymuck

Narnia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > I didn't mean to imply you are American LM. > It's > just that Americans are, well, you know......... Don't worry Narnia - I think I know what you meant. Having re-visited all of the comments/links on this thread whilst most people were asleep, I now recognise that, yes, the offside rule is complicated and that perhaps HB's earlier post was well-intentioned and not as patronising as I first took it to be (in fact I see that now - so, apologies again HB - I think my inability to understand coupled with the ensuing frustration that this promoted within me contributed to my outburst). Anyway Narnia, having "worked" on understanding this rule through part of the night, your "American" link has actually proved to be enormously helpful (that combined with the computer's most succinct explanation: "...just make sure there are always two opponents between you and their end of the pitch" - ever thought of entering the teaching profession HAL9000?). As a consequence of this thread, the rule is finally becoming clearer. As for the reason for the rule, well that remains a mystery to me! However, one thing at a time:)). How much my pea brain has assimilated will manifest itself when, hopefully, I play again in a couple of weeks' time. Thanks all.

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Of course I'll join you LM, but I insist on > paying. > As for the knee/groin incident, think nothing of > it. A mere bagatelle. As it were. > The main thing it did was to get Susan Cadogan's > 'Hurt So Good' playing on repeat in my head. > How bad? Cheers HB. *clinks glasses*

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- >(Hint: I've changed the names to > protect the innocent.) Oh don't tease...tell all...

Yes and as for yoghurt...oh dear... "eh eh"...as people from the West Indies would say...and they should know... Sorry Katie, but I'd sling that cookbook if I were you xx PS: I'll still give you a hand in slapping HAL9000 though...been meaning to do it myself for some time now...

INNIT!

DJKillaQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Been a long day HAL?....:)-D The incorrigible computer is always like this! (Aren't you HAL9000)!? Very clever that post...though not sure how Katie1997 is going to deal with him. We might have to come to her aid later...should she wish to give him a big fat slap! I know I would! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Funny though!

Yeah right...what about this then...where you omitted the "r" in "classes"...hee hee Re: The Off Side Rule in Footie Posted by: DJKillaQueen Yesterday, 10:50PM LOL footie is a common term used by people in my home town of Liverpool by ALL classes.............defined as 'slang'. You say classes... I say clarsses... You say bath... I say barth... *limps away as fast as possible*

Dunno about that, but the main singer of the band (who I thought was marvellous - gorgeous accent) was called "Declan". So Declan, where were you between the hours of 10.00 and 20.00 earlier today?

Interestingly this website cites "FOOTY" as modern slang for football. So DJKQ is quite correct. Ahem...DJKQ...lost your scouse accent did you say? I'm sure I heard you say the word "bath" without the incorporation of the letter "r" earlier on:)). Speaking of which, I'm orff to have a barth!

OK, just had to check this out. First things first: footie Definition from Wiktionary, the free dictionary Singular footie Alternative spelling of footy. Then: Football - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Association football, also known as football, soccer, footy and footie ..... So there we have it: footie, footy, football, soccer - all the same.

Agree with Quids...Costa de la Luz is lovely, though it can be a little blustery. At the other end of the country, Asturias in the North is stunningly beautiful and there are far, far fewer tourists (you may wish to learn a little Spanish - it will enhance your visit for sure). Have a lovely holiday.

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm convinced most linesen don't understand it.... > Especially in Old Firm matches. Seriously Mick Mac? That makes me feel a teensy weensy bit less stupid. But when playing, you don't really want to be subjecting your team players to constant penalties...I mean...it's so embarrassing... But I think I am beginning to understand it now (thanks everyone)...although it seems a silly rule to me. Surely your opponent's failure to position players appropriately so as to prevent a goal from your team shouldn't result in your team then being penalised? Oh good grief...am I getting confused again?

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It's Football. > > "Footie" is a middle class, prawn munching > construction *yawns and flings left-over prawn tails/shells at Quids* Besides, his Lordship HB has spoken...rather...has granted a special Dispensation.

May I have a bottle of Champagne please (only this one is on me). Two glasses please...and if you could join me that would be lovely. (Might numb the pain in a more pleasurable way than the sweetcorn).

I loved the Irish music...what a fabulous band! And all for free. Bumped into lots of friends/people that I knew. I found the atmosphere very pleasant and relaxing. Can't complain at all.

kpc Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It's nothing to worry about. Many footballers have > had successful careers at the highest level being > blissfully aware of the offside law. *bursts out laughing*

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------ > *looks aghast at the Muckatollah's seemingly > irrational outburst, but resists the urge to opine > 'Chicks, eh'? Wanders away deep in puzzlement at > LM's vexation at what he thought was a helpful and > supportive post. > Walks away limping, but resolves not to attend to > his groin area until in the privacy of his own > spare room where the self-massage necessary will > not excite comment* *hesitates* erm... *shifts about uncomfortably whilst avoiding all eye contact with HB* I'm...erm...sorry HB...but your post was a bit patronising and condescending. And as for defaming my beloved George Best (RIP Georgie), what were you thinking (*minor sniff*). But I cannot remain cross with you for long. Hug? *passes HB pack of frozen sweetcorn*

PeckhamRose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Did you play today, LadyMuck? I did PR...it was a great game...though I am currently limping around with a packet of frozen peas inside my jeans::o. >People learn better > through actions than words. And DJKQ knows it. Well, I am ashamed to say that I was offside at least 3 times today and I just couldn't see why. (But I did save 2 goals!! hee hee) DJKQ is a fantastic coach/mentor bye the way - as well as a brilliant player...BIG respect to her. (Thanks DJKQ).

Narnia Wrote: > Have you thought of being a goalie? Funny you should say that...I hope that isn't my fate... ...though I did save 2 goals today (and exacerbated an existing groin/hip injury in the process:-S) Perhaps I ought to take up crochet instead.

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LM, just make sure there are always two opponents > between you and their end of the pitch. > > Does that make sense? hmmmmmmm - no...sorry:-$ Oh dear, maybe HB is right and I shouldn't worry my pea brain about such a thing. This would be fine if I didn't now play. And to think that for years I have been quite content watching footie in complete ignorance...such bliss...but now... *sinks into mild depression*

Narnia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Offside for Americans > > This should do the trick LM. Well, I am not an American...but, I think I am just beginning to get the gist of it (a bit). Thank you Narnia. I think one of the reasons I am having such problems with all these explanations is that I understood (quite incorrectly it seems) that, when players spoke of "their goal", they were referring to the goal in which they need to shoot/score, when in fact "their goal" refers to the goal where their goalie hangs out (i.e. that place where their opponents are attempting to shoot/score). Have I got that bit right at least?

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I reckon you shouldn't trouble your pretty little > head Do not make that assumption - I might have two for all you know! >honestly it's too > complicated. *flares nostrils and widens all four eyes* > Even some men can't understand it And...? > Until his death George Best thought you could get > away with it by giving the referee a 'wink, click > and guns' as you passed him. Now you have really overstepped the mark with that comment! *kicks HB in the groin...* *...and then...* http://www.friendsandrelations.com/images/user/15_1.jpg > So, pet, settle down and diven't pay the matter na > mind. AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH *logs off and pisses off to the Irish Festival*

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Don't know how helpful this will be - but here are > a few offside sites illustrated with diagrams: > http://www.sidelinesoccer.com/offsides OK HAL9000 I've just "studied" your second link...it's a bit more helpful...but will need to "study" it properly - later. But I thank you for taking this seriously...talking of which...

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Don't know how helpful this will be - but here are > a few offside sites illustrated with diagrams: Nope...confused at first para: A player is in an offside position if: * he is nearer to his opponents' goal line than both the ball and the second last opponent This is just not clear to me...arrrrggghhh the frustration.... This is genuinely driving me mad - especially when playing... Is there no-one out there who can explain this in a way that I could understand it? *loads revolver*

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Flag goes up, LM offside, possibly forever. *keeps on playing as referee hasn't blown whistle*