Ladymuck

Actually, this one is just for you Hatchet Boy: A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. "What've I done, officer?" asks the rider. "Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back..." "Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

On yer bike Hatchet Boy!

jimmy two times Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I think George michael will be riding a bike from > now on.apparently he crashed his car into happy > snaps cos he wasn't getting enough exposure. Next! hee hee

Applespider Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I have a question - does anyone know of a cycle > maintenance course locally? Or anyone who is good > at cycle maintenance who could share a few tips in > exchange for a drink or two? I'm conscious that > if I'm commuting, I should be more aware of what > might go wrong and what's easily fixable. Cycling Training do maintenance courses. They can come to your house. Alternatively you could PM mlteenie...he charges very reasonable rates for bike maintenance/repairs/instruction. When he did my bike MOT, he was keen to show me some basic maintenance stuff. He is very professional and reliable as well as good value and very pleasant. He gets very good feedback on this forum - indeed this is how I found him. Failing that, you could ring the London Cycling Campaign and ask them. They are very helpful. Better still, become a member (you get free third party insurance in the event of an accident).

ooooh goodie - looks as though the hat-eating event may be taking place after all! Sorry the head-eating one has had to be cancelled. Brendan, have you got one which will completely buggar up the incorrigible computer's insides? That would be good.:))

Oh gawd...even more embarrassing...just realised you are on there...which means you've seen it...:-$ *crawls back to hobbit hole*

Bums!! Just realised...it was in the lounge...sorry...

Keef... This is my favourite ever thread...it ran on for 7 pages in NO time...utterly utterly hilarious...a bit slow to start, but oh boy...the laughs that come...well worth persevering with...ENJOY!

bbug Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Just posting something on legality of riding on > pavements (to stop another thread being bogged > down). Ignore it if you are not interested. bbug, When I started this thread, it was precisely for this kind of thing as opposed to another "cyclists v drivers" exchange of insults thread (though the latter, in moderation, can result in some good entertainment:))). What you have posted is useful and informative and I'm sure there are many who will be interested (not to mention appreciative). Last time I heard, the fine for riding on the pavement was ?30.

I cannot disagree with anything you have said there Keef. Of course, it is Admin's forum etc. But my point is that, given that they are a reasonable bunch and they do run the forum very well, I would have thought that they would have no problem furnishing Daizie with a reason. A life ban - which (to me anyway) would suggest a contravention of the Forum's rules of some magnitude - would (in my opinion) render the requirement to give a reason to our very amusing Daizie all the more necessary. But who am I eh? Anyway...sorry to divert...back to these amusing threads...

observermum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Think the sports are always on the saturday > > http://www.southwarkirish.com/ oooooh...that also contains a link to the entertaining Declan Nerney. Now I can play him in the background whilst playing on the forum...erm...I mean...working. Thanks observermum. *dee dee dee dee dee dee la la la la*

daizie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > No ones ever told me so i suppose no If I were you (which I am not - granted) I would send Admin a PM asking them why. It's only fair that you should be given the reason(s). What have you got to lose? They are generally pretty reasonable. While you are at it, you could ask them about the duration of the ban...it cannot be for life (can it?). Good luck xx

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I was being metaphorical, or was it metaphysical. > Or I was pissed and quoting Dickens. > It was definitely one of those. *considers Mr. Boogie's defence and decides to allow it on the ground of previous injustice*

Narnia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How are you at parking a car LM? I have a theory > that there are some things women weren't meant > for. Likewise men of course. *looks in horror* How on earth did I miss this? The audacity! I cycle...hope that answers your question. *hopes Narnia will never bump into Lordmuck who might spill the beans over the 2 occasions - within a period of 2 weeks - when ?800's worth of damage was caused to his then brand new car when wife attempted to get it out of an awkward spot. Wife now banned from taking car to that location.:-$*

DJKillaQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > That's what happens if you don't cook the chicken > properly or at all even! Will you stop that DJKQ...I haven't stopped twitching all day...and it has nowt to do with raw chicken... *grabs belly as doubled up laughing*

LadyTaTa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ...and eat it until I twitch :)) That sounds HILARIOUS...may I watch?:)) Oh how funny!

katie1997 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------ > I think thats a FAB idea. Could I please have some > VIP tickets for the head/hat-eating event? I thank you Katie1997 (aka Ms. Katharina Van Der Wotsit) - you are a good sport. Of course VIP tickets shall be despatched to you forthwith - I am certain DJKQ (aka "the Queen") will have no problem with that (*clicks fingers and signals to butler*). We shall ensure you have the best ring-side seats available. Yours, Esme xx

Hey Weegee, How are you and the family doing?...sorry I keep bumping into you and then running off again...I'm not avoiding you - honest...it's just that I'm always late to wherever I'm going... BTW, your car sounds like an aeroplane LOL!!!! Needs looking at I think! And, you don't happen to know of anyone locally who has lost a pair of sunglasses?

*clears throat extra loudly* I can hear you

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LM - don't get too excited, not on my account > anyway: all I need to do is scan in an image of > Brendan's hat - nothing to it! We'll see about that. DAMN YOU!!! DAMN YOU I SAY!!! *calls hench men*

I think what DJKQ is trying to say is that some of the entered names received no votes (i.e. no-one voted for them) - therefore those names got zero points. Is that what you mean DJKQ? Apologies in advance if I've got it wrong.

Yes, THANK GOD, it wasn't Milfwall.

I think the...ahem...event should take place on Peckham Rye...perhaps at Katie1997's picnic. I think we should sell tickets...the money could be used for things like packs of frozen peas, morphine, artificial limbs, heart and lung transplants... What do people think?

Even I know that's not Spanish...I've just returned from the Irish Festival - do you recall? I think the phrase you were looking for was "vete a la mierda"...my friend from Asturias taught me that one!:-S

As I said: "Ah que mierda!" *attempts to look perfectly serious*