Muley

Saucysofa! High Rentals- History?

Turned on the TV about 6.45 yesterday morning and GMTV news were doing a report on swine flu. The reporter was outside the GPs surgery in Crystal Palace Road (nothing ED specific, just a general report with an establishing shot with the big 'doctors surgery' sign behind him). The ITN outside broadcast van was still parked up by the surgery as we passed on the school run a bit later. School run today, and the OB van was back again- was there anything reported about the area (or perhaps the surgery have got themselves a deal going as a location for any health-issue related reporting?)

If the bottle installations are causing the noise then have a word with the head, Mr Block, pretty sharpish- Heber breaks up for summer holidays tomorrow. It sounds like something the caretaker could easily sort out with a ladder and a few squirts of WD40.

So has this thread bottomed out now?

lenk Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Muley Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > BUT NO BLOODY KIDS > > > > > > Awlright Lenk? > > > A 'kid free' area of the park would be fantastic. > > > That cafe would be a whole lot nicer if kids were > banned, they sold booze, you could smoke in there, > and they had a jukebox full of thrash metal and > Czechoslovakian jazz. Now Lenk, you know what we said about sharing- it's not nice to be selfish, is it? You weren't being clever, and no-one else is laughing are they? No. Now, any more silly behaviour like that and it's the naughty step for you, young man, and I mean it.

I know. I was on one recently and there was a young woman scratching her arse and twittering at the same time. Couldn't believe it!

Four Horsemen- The Clash

BUT NO BLOODY KIDS Awlright Lenk?

Lots of bikes

But you can have bikes

Right, Lenkington Fields it is then. And no soddin' kids allowed, right?

The young people appear to be getting somewhat restless. I for one shall be retiring to the parlour and shutting the curtains early tonight.

All Lost in The Supermarket- The Clash

Remove ham from sandwich and leave on desk for weekend. Revisit ham on Monday morning. There's your answer.

* Goes all Hugh Grant-ish* "Oh. Right. Yes, of course, erm, thanks. Sorry to have, er, bothered you. I'll just, er... 'bye..."

am removing dead arse-skin flakes from under fingernails?

Nah, invest in your jeans, but pay a sensible price for your haircut

The Clipper- OK, but pricey. And what was that pish about being open 'til 7pm on Thursdays? Twice I left work early to make it back for 6.30ish, both times closed. Meh! Jazzes- only been once, but pretty good haircut- ?12. BUT, you can't beat a proper Turkish barber who'll take a blazing torch to your lugs to singe off that embarrassing sprouting ear hair, do a cut throat razor wet shave, not bother with extraneous conversation, and address you as 'sir' at the end of it. Then you know you've been properly served, as a Gentleman ought to be!

Thanks for everyones' feedback- advice, opinions, experiences. Am giving the tablets a go, as the bruising is mostly internal, along with the vodka (best to cover all bases, eh?) BTW Mockney, erm, where do I stick that dock leaf?

To be honest I wouldn't have a clue if it's homeopathic or not, that's what the girl who suggested it to me said (but she's probably not the most reliable source about....well, anything really!). Just trying to get patched up 'cos we're going kayaking at the weekend and a sore shoulder will take the fun out of it. The vodka and dock leaf combo has to be a strong contender though!

Feeling a bit sore after coming off my bike last week, and a 'friend of a friend' (OK, my mother-in-laws best friends dippy, several-sandwiches-short-of-a-picnic, in fact at times frankly f*ckwitted, daughter) has suggested arnica as being a good homeopathic remedy for bruising, etc. So I thought I'd ask some sensible, intelligent people if they reckon it does any good. (Also thought I'd ask here, too!)

Another classic, posted in response to the suggestion that everyone take time off to get drunk and watch cricket, and that Honaloochie would provide us with a covering note: "Dear (INSERT YOUR/ employer's/probationer officer's/pimp's/ponce's/director's/publisher's/social worker's/higher echelon drug dealer's/Chief executive officer's/Brave executive officer's/Squaw executive officer's/Headmistress's/Othermistress who won't do that's/manager's/the other one who can't manage it's/record producer's/record producer who isn't attempting to shag you's/ record producer who's actually produced a record's/ community pyschiatric nurse's/foreman's/forewoman's/ NAME HERE I scribe on behalf of (INSERT NAME HERE, PREFERABLY OWN). I have been his/her (your choice) personal guru, numerologist, dowser, ethical medium and nutritionist for a good part of his/her (again your choice, but I'd advise consistency) current existence, as for his/her's previous one I am not at liberty to discuss. The files I may (or as I am strongly advised to say) or may not have contributed to then, are the subject of a legal dispute with his/her late (for everything if you ask me) medium. I have checked (NAME'S) aura and I have never seen it so yellow, and it was all yellow. I can treat this by bleeding myself dry, but unfortunately (YOUR NAME) does not have private medical insurance and bleeding myself dry is not available on the NHS. I could comment, but won't. I carried out a reading of (YES YOUR BASTARD NAME AGAIN)'s numbers, and was greatly concerned to see them in a what I as a qualified numerologist can only describe as the worst sort of two and eight I've seen in years. The above can only lead to one conclusion, his/her guts must be utterly putrid. I would be failing in my duty as a responsible nutritionist if I did not recommend that my patient take several days off in order to rebalance his/her insides and soothe his/her chakrakhan. Thank you, may I wish you long life and obedient children who are young dudes and carry the news. HonaloochieBeatific" Masterful.

Hold on a minute, this is huge- Flipper and Skippy are dead? Are you absolutely sure? When? How? Why?

Noise Annoys- Buzzcocks

Brendan- sheer class. Lets all head down to Tesco right now for these essential supplies then settle down for the cricket in front of a wide-screen telly. Maybe take the rest of the week off. Don't worry about work, tell 'em the EDF said it was OK- Honaloochie will write everyone a note to say we're allowed, and everything. It'll be just like the snow day all over again (but with purple vomit and alcohol poisoning). Yay!