Pregnant woman smoking down Lordship lane!

[Ligaturiosity]

Just saw a woman brazenly smoking whilst heavily pregnant. I could not help but give her a filthy look, which she reciprocated...and then I let loose and told her how selfish she was and how disgusting is was to be smoking whilst pregnant, and so publically. I told her she should be ashamed of herself as well. This woman was rendered speechless but I am glad I said all this. My husband says I was wrong to say anything and should have minded my own business but I was left so mad by what I saw I couldn't help myself. What do others think?!!

[chantelle]

I think you should mind your own business. It's not ideal but it's probably not putting her child at severe risk either.

IMO, it just opens a can of worms if everyone thinks they can comment on others' choices and parenting styles. Some people think it's fine to berate a formula-feeding mother, for the same sorts of reasons. I don't.

[Goodliz]

Ligaturiosity, i think you are messing about and winding us up! :-)

[Ligaturiosity]

No I am not Goodliz. I am still really taken about by this. I hardly ever see it these days, thanks God. My husband and I were talking about it in bed 'til quite late last night. I can't help but feel really strongly about it. If she is going to smoke whilst pregnant, at least do it in private.

And Chantelle, I am afraid it is very selfish to continue smoking whilst pregnant, and to do it brazenly in this day and age beggars belief. It is putting the unborn child at risk. It is a proven medical fact that smoking is fatal to humans, and babies in the womb have no choice in the matter....THERE'S NO EXCUSE FOR IT!

[Monkey]

I think you should mind your own business too. I would also add that berating a heavily pregnant woman on the street is really quite insensitive.

[supergolden88]

There is no excuse for it but at the same time it's not your place to tell her what to do.

[Ligaturiosity]

True it is not my place to tell her what to do, and I did not 'tell her what to do'. I expressed my negative opinion on what she was doing.

Monkey "I would also add that berating a heavily pregnant woman on the street is really quite insensitive". I think it is more insensitive to be chuffing away on thousands of toxic chemicals knowing the dangers it causes, to an innocent unborn child.

[louloulabelle]

not really your place to berate her.. its her body, her choice however inappropriate others thinks etc. I dont advocate it at all but wouldnt dream of telling someone - a stranger no less- off for doing something like that!.

[Ligaturiosity]

Well we are all different. I did not expect everyone to agree with me, even my husband didn't. However, I am surprised that I am getting it on here by all and sundry! I will continue to be opinionated nonetheless as I personally think it is wrong to do something like that, let alone so publically.

[Princess]

I'm afraid I'm with Loulouabelle on this one.

[Helen GV]

Hmm, wonder how the stress of being publicly attacked is affecting the heavily pregnant woman?

[giggirl]

I think you should butt out (pun intended).

[Indiana]

I too think you should have left alone. It's her choice afterall - everyone knows you shouldn't smoke when pregnant but it's not illegal and we live in a society when people make their own choices and take their own risks. I understand that it is shocking and makes you feel angry but it really is none of your business.

On the topic, a very well educated colleague of mine in New York went to her doctor whilst pregnant saying she had ridiculous cravings for a cigarette and was finding it hard. The doctor said she should have a cigarette as (he said) one or two during pregnancy has no effect!

I think most people would disagree but interesting view.

[Ligaturiosity]

I hope said person wasn't led ashtray Indiana. Thank you for understanding my anger. Perhaps I should have kept schtum but I was so shocked I couldn't help myself. Incidentally, I am sure that this pregnant woman was well aware of what she was doing yesterday and in this day and age had to realise that she would get some filthy looks and negative comments.

[Moos]

Has jrussell got a new posting name?

I'm especially liking "If she is going to smoke whilst pregnant, at least do it in private". I mean, by all means poison your foetus. But at least have the decency to be ashamed of yourself while you're doing it.

Priceless.

[ClareC]

Was it today or yesterday?

[elderflower]

Ligaturiosity, so your own husband gave you his view on your actions (he's right btw) you don't like it so you've come on here expecting people to stand your corner and say you were right. I sense you have control issues and you need to think about yourself for yourself and leave other people to deal with themselves. If she was your friend or family member then fair enough but just attacking people on the street is unfair and uncivilized no matter what prompted it.

[legalbeagle]

Moos and giggirl, you're out of order. The woman is a total disgrace and I for one would have her in the stocks asap. There are the remains of the old Dulwich stocks next door to the village book shop. Just the place.

note to self - must find pitchfork. Haven't seen it since the child snatching clown incident.

[plimsoul]

do people consider drinking less bad? i am always shocked by people who drink or smoke when pregnant but somehow it seems socially acceptable to have a glass.

i agree it's clearly not good to smoke and personally would not have said anything but i actually respect you for caring. just like it is her right to spark up so it is yours to tell her what you think...to a sensible degree (whatever that is). i think 'attacking' is quite a strong thing to call it...

ultimately everyone should stop smoking cigarettes full stop but that's a whole other conversation...

[legalbeagle]

Plimsoul - medical research shows that small amounts of alcohol do not cause harm during pregnancy. My doctor at St Thomas's told me that two or three glasses of wine a week was fine. Most pregnant women I know don't drink because they don't feel like it, rather than because they are told not to.

[Ligaturiosity]

Plimsoul, you are right to put the 'attack' in inverted commas, as I did not 'attack' the woman at all. My points were made firmly and eloquently, because I DO care and perhaps in saying something it may make her realise that she should stop (smoking). In remaining silent, which everyone so far has said they would have done, aren't we condoning what she is doing?

A baby in the womb gets everything from its mother, and smoking not only exposes the foetus to toxins in tobacco smoke, but it also damages placental function. This can cause the foetal heart rate to rise as baby struggles to get enough oxygen. To be pregnant and continue to smoke is awful, and I feel very sorry for the child.

[njc97]

People like this should be birched. It's the only language they understand. Why will no one think of the children?

lb - small amounts of alchohol may not harm a baby, but heightened levels of stress due to, for example, trying to give up a chemical addiction, may well harm your baby.

[peckhamboy]

Are you sure she was pregnant? She may just have been fat, and have started smoking to suppress her appetite and help lose weight.

But back to the topic - whether a pregnant lady has a cigarette or a glass of wine is frankly no business of anyone else's. There is no evidence whatsoever that an occasional glass of wine or other alcoholic drink has any negative impact on an unborn baby. Yes, heavy drinking (even as a one-off) can harm the baby but you have to drink significant amounts before sufficient quantities cross the placenta to cause any harm. But the hallmark of our previous government was a refusal to allow people to make up their own minds so they preferred blanket scaremongering because they thought if they said the odd drink was ok, pregnant women would think it was ok to get absolutely legless. With cigarettes, there is a greater risk to the baby but the risks are well documented. As long as it continues to be legal to smoke, people are free to make their own decisions about whether to smoke or not. I may not like the idea of a pregnant woman smoking but I will defend to the death her right to do it.

And what about pregnant women driving, or crossing roads? They are both voluntary activities, and there is a risk of death by doing either, but I've never seen anyone shout at pregnant women who do them. Maybe the OP should extend the range of her vigilante-style attacks to include this sort of dangerous activity as well.

[giggirl]

I was born in the 60s and my mother smoked throughout her pregnancies. We were all born healthy. I'm not saying it's good for anyone to smoke (obviously), I'm just saying that one cigarette is not the end of the world as we know it.

[Ligaturiosity]

"I may not like the idea of a pregnant woman smoking but I will defend to the death her right to do it. "

"I was born in the 60s and my mother smoked throughout her pregnancies. We were all born healthy."

Oh right. So that's OK then. Sigh.