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It would have to be someone who can do a plausible Seffriken accent, which rules out any American or British actors. As she grew up in my hometown Charlize Theron may have a stab at it but there would be certain anatomical problems like for instance she has the wrong colour hair. Anyway I question her acting abilities and feel that a Benoni girl running about in foreign parts and winning Oscars is just showing off.


Actually giving it some thought I reckon it can?t be done. You couldn?t capture this on celluloid.

Hmmm Keira Knightley, then in a bid for northern gritty realism I would force feed her Fray Bentos pies, dumpling and endless bowls of steamed pudding and custard. After 12 long months of filming and scoffing she would be a right heifer and Hollywood just doesn't do plump, hence the world would be saved from her wooden vacuous performances forever... splendid.

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    • See my post about this made up thread https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/372139-post-office-lordship-lane-is-broken/#findComment-1732485
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