Twas The Night Before Christmas

[macroban]

snorky

[lozzyloz]

Ahhh!! Yecannywakrrrammmm!!! Shouts Snorky as he hastily sprays a Banksy copy over the Foxtons plate glass frontage.

[fish]

From no where, a Southwark Warden appears and soon he is joined by our illusive old bill. They cart off old Snorky, such a serious crime, but ignore the old lady, who is being mugged nearby.

[TillieTrotter]

And then..................? (I love a good story)

[Keef]

A weather beaten and travel weary Huguenot moves along Lordship Lane staying always hidden by the shadows. What could his intent be?

[citizenED]

From his place in the dark he spies three grumpy old men strolling down the strip, carrying gifts. They are heading towards the sound of Ana's pussies cavorting on Goose Green which, he notices, is illuminated by the spotlight from a police chopper. These grumpy old geezers Huguenot does not recognise; Is it Maurice, Alan and *Bob*?

[lozzyloz]

On closer inspection it appears to be Asset, Louisa and Dulwichmum. Each bearing a gift, Prada, Zara and Primark. As the chopper closes in they disappear through the backdoor of the EDT.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Inside the hostelry the three ladies are gathered around a large bubbling pot. Each is clutching an unfortunate creature - Prada the Toad, Zara the Bat and Primark the Newt. "So" quoth Dulwichmum, her nose mole wobbling alarmingly, "who brought the sharp knife for the removal of eye, tongue and tail respectively? Hmmmm?".

"Not me" ejaculated Louisa, "but I do have a sharp tongue which will do the job nicely, and there's no mistakin'"

"Thith pot, how come its bubblng? There'th no water in these partth" slurred Asset through her raggle-taggle dentistry, she was wearing in a new top set for a friend. "We improvised, we dont like water do we, just think of what happened to our sister in the West" said Dulwichmum, "Too right" said Louise "their Forum is crap - no sense of humour". Dulwichmum looked a little shifty.

Outside the pub a by-now 11 month pregnant Lithuanian (or Latvian?) au pair stands shivering in the frosty shadows, the dim light creeps through the EDT windows. Overwhelmed by hunger and the need to play table-football she creeps closer, peers through door, sees the aged crones gathered around the bubbling pot and wonders what ever happened to he ED WI?. This having fought her way through the dozen smokers polluting the atmosphere outside the pub and tripping over numerous scabby pine sapplings that have mysteriously sprouted around the Tavern.

Dulwichmum spies the Unfortunate and beckons to her, using a beautifully manicured talon, "Come here my sweet, we would like to invite you for supper, quite literally". Poor Ana flees into the dark and polar night.

Meanwhile .....

[macroban]

The Wicked Witch of the West went to change her red shoes for another pair from the selection she kept in her carriage.

[fish]

Meanwhile, in Iceland (the store, not the country), two women are fighting over the last prawn ring. The security guard has been bashed over the head with a bottle of Lambrini (such a waste of a fine beverage) and is being stitched up by the famous Crazy Nurse of East Dulwich, who's back after her stint in Maudsley - as a patient.

[fish]

fish Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Meanwhile, in Iceland (the store, not the

> country), two women are fighting over the last

> prawn ring. The security guard has been bashed

> over the head with a bottle of Lambrini (such a

> waste of a fine beverage) and is being stitched up

> by the famous Crazy Nurse of East Dulwich, who's

> back after her stint in Maudsley - as a patient.

Ah yes, that's why chavs go to Iceland.

[EDOldie]

The chavs in Iceland were disconcerted by her presence as she stacked the shelves. Little were they aware that she was an MI6 agent deep under cover and attached to the net monitoring unit, her brief the EDF and observing the contributors on a day to day basis.

She was soon to meet her match. An after work drink and a chance meeting with the smooth talking Jah Lush was to change her life forever. Little did she realise he was the main quarry of her superiors, she was, like a flower on the ocean, swept away.