Am I being unreasonable? (upstairs neighbour noise)

[Moos]

Spadetownboy, are you trying to wind everyone up? The original poster made it clear that s/he is trying to understand both his/her current neighbour and the previous neighbour, and is trying to be reasonable and flexible. When you say 'i doubt that this noise goes on constantly day after day' and similar comments, what are you basing this on? Have you been to OTE's flat?

I also think it contributes nothing to a previously polite and neighbourly thread to start name-calling, show some manners.

[atila the gooner]

Well said Moos. You tell 'im.

[SteveT]

I'm with moos annaj and atila;-)

I don't understand why you are being so (6) abrasive either spadetownboy

[chocaholic]

i love the east dulwich forum! ;-)

[DulwichNanny]

I think SpadeBoy is OTE neighbour and is feeling embarrassed about his kid being up at 10.30pm!:)

[ontheedge]

Spadetownboy I think you are being somewhat vitriolic, if you would like to come to my flat now you can hear him run up and down. I work shifts including nights and never would dream of asking any of my neighbours to keep noise down during the day as most people don't sleep during the day. I don't feel I should have to defend myself but I actually do know plenty about children. What I do know is children need routine and most children I know of toddler age are in bed by about 7.30 with the occassional wakeful night when not well.

Everyone else has been extremly supportive with some good advice thank you.

[lorraineliyanage]

I sympathise with you. Our neighbour upstairs has a wee one who likes to run up and down for hours, sometimes till about 1 in the morning, and I'm sure he's only about 7. Luckily on a weekday he wears himself out around 11pm so I've managed not to go up there and have to make a fuss, although sometimes when I fancy an early night, it can be a bit of a bore. Hope you managed to sort something out!

[snorky]

Kids do make a noise and often at the most inopportune times =- but usuallay, their parent/s really dont want the hassle either and unlikely to be making noise on purpose - you cant shut a kid up unless he/she eants to shut up sadly, although a suggestion for your neighbours to attend parenting classes may get a hostile response

converted flats are usually very bad news noise wise - i got used to mine, but it was only when I got a house did I realise how bad it used to be - and most of the noise isnt designed to personally irk you, its just the way it goes - high turnover of tenents/ owners, rubbish landlording , cheap conversions and lack of proper lease caveats being present or enforced with regard to floor coverings is behind it all.

unless you move, sadly it will always be at the back of your mind and you will hear literally everything as time goes on & you become attuned to what once seemed harmless background noises

[lozzyloz]

Unfortunately most flat conversions are rubbish when it comes to noise insulation between floors. Even if done according to legal guidelines the cavity between ceiling and floor is still not enough to properly absorb noise especially in old Victorian houses. Bare wooden floors or newly laid laminate only multiplies the problem. It is sometimes worth checking the freehold lease as some contracts specify that upper floors must be carpeted. The only other option is to report the family to the Services, for beating their kids and have them taken into care.

[spadetownboy]

:-$

[Amelie]

I live in a converted Victorian house and my upstairs neighbours have laminate flooring, however only my flat has a lease with conditions about carpeting. Moreover, that prize fool John Prescott arbitrarily picked a date in the 1980s so that all houses converted before that date do not have to comply with the current noise regulations. The Victorians themselves of course had carpets everywhere, and these houses simply are not designed for bare wooden floors and multiple occupancy.

It is my experience that most noise is not caused by people trying consciously to be noisy but is just the noise made by day to day life.

I think OTE has a point about such a young child being up so late at night, if you are genuinely worried OTE you can always telephone Children's Services at Southwark and ask them to send a social worker round to check that everything really is alright.

[snorky]

lozzyloz Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Unfortunately most flat conversions are rubbish

> when it comes to noise insulation between floors.

> Even if done according to legal guidelines the

> cavity between ceiling and floor is still not

> enough to properly absorb noise especially in old

> Victorian houses. Bare wooden floors or newly laid

> laminate only multiplies the problem. It is

> sometimes worth checking the freehold lease as

> some contracts specify that upper floors must be

> carpeted. The only other option is to report the

> family to the Services, for beating their kids and

> have them taken into care.

Yes. I agree. This is a better option than having to move flat yourself - lets start a forum section where we can nominate the neighbours we dont like and in a " I'll scratch your back / you scratch mine " symbiotic arrangement, we can report each other neighbours without the guilt of actually knowing that we personally made the calls that got next doors kids taken into to care

[blinder999]

this thread is a timely reminder for me to count my blessings, my upstairs neighbour doesn't have kids and is quiet and considerate. And she says she never hears our kids - being on the ground floor works out well in these circumstances!

[Asset]

"I think OTE has a point about such a young child being up so late at night, if you are genuinely worried OTE you can always telephone Children's Services at Southwark and ask them to send a social worker round to check that everything really is alright."

I'm not sure OTE suggested the child was in danger or being neglected. It seems a bit strong to suggest a call from Social Services. A hyper-active child that doesn't sleep for one reason or another does not equate to a child that is being abused or neglected.

Better to speak to the neighbours before wading in with Social Services no?

[*Bob*]

Until you've had to live in a properly piss-poor conversion (not just your average run-of-mill piss-poor one), there are simply no words to describe how cack it can be. You won't understand unless you've had the pleasure of one - you just WON'T. I have.. sounds like Mokkers has too. Moving was the only solution for me.. the quality of my life improved by about 10000% overnight.

btw.. Is it possible to have your children taken into care for a short period? Like a weekend?

I only ask because Mrs *Bob* and I would really like to go out clubbing over the Bank Holiday, but we'd a few days at it to make it worthwhile.

[Brendan]

Bit short notice Bob but if you had let us know a few days ago I'm sure someone would have been good enough to call "the social" on you.

[giggirl]

Yes you are being reasonable and you have my sincere sympathies. Excess noise can drive you nuts. We all have to live together and sometimes that is really hard to do when properties are poorly soundproofed. My advice is to drop a note through your neighbour's door saying that there is a problem and you would like to discuss it and would like to fix a time to talk.

I don't think you're being unreasonable - but your neighbours aren't being unreasonable either - it's just that most conversions were done on the cheap and corners were cut on soundproofing.

I lived in a house for many years but before then I lived in a flat on Melbourne Grove - the slightest noise travelled between the flats.

Good luck.

[Keith]

thinking about it all the time is making it louder. Some people live beside rail tracks and they invite people over. Or But the child shoes with sponges on the end. :)

[spadetownboy]

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Until you've had to live in a properly piss-poor

> conversion (not just your average run-of-mill

> piss-poor one), there are simply no words to

> describe how cack it can be. You won't understand

> unless you've had the pleasure of one - you just

> WON'T. I have.. sounds like Mokkers has too.

> Moving was the only solution for me.. the quality

> of my life improved by about 10000% overnight.

>

> btw.. Is it possible to have your children taken

> into care for a short period? Like a weekend?

> I only ask because Mrs *Bob* and I would really

> like to go out clubbing over the Bank Holiday, but

> we'd a few days at it to make it worthwhile.

pm amelie and see what she can sort out for you.

[Amelie]

I mentioned social services as a POSSIBILITY if OTE was really worried, obviously mere noise is not a reason to call them but keeping children up so late can be a sign of more widespread neglect as any health visitor could confirm. If of course we still had enough to around.

[spadetownboy]

;-)