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A Wetherspoon, which as we all know has a policy that the Gents' are as far away and as deep down as possible from the bar area.

This one could set the record for furthest and deepest.


On that basis I'd name it The Status Quo and hope it remains as that and never changes.

I'd also have a doohickey linked up to a gizmo that played the chorus of 'Down Down' every time a chap went down the stairs to 'pay a visit'.

At weekends as the punters returned from their ablutions there'd be a basic recording of a mariachi band intoning 'Urine The Army Now'.

Quite how the jovial Mexicans will be able to present/emphasise the piss-based play on words and indeed if it's even worth bothering with is something I'll muse upon for about the same amount of time I'd listen to a Muse record.


If it goes ahead I'll talk it over with Tim out of Wetherspoon, like as not over Beer 'n' Burger deal.


My treat.

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