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If I was boss of Southwark or East Dulwich and had total power I would . . .


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1. Pedestrianise SE22

2. Re-introduce electic trams and rickshaws.

3. Issue all residents with an I-Real

4. Make Jah Lush resident borough DJ with music piped to all main roads via lamp post mounted Bose sound system.

5. Make Brendan head of Bar and Pub Licensing (to include wallpaper approval).

6. Only allow retail chains on LL if they pay an additional chain tax (=100% of rent) plus offering a 50% discount to residents.

7. Connect Peckham Rye Park and Dulwich Park with a canal down Barry Road.

8. Introduce a no fly over zone (sorry Clapham >:D<)

9. Enlarge Northcross Rd Market and ED Warehouse

10.Turn ED Leisure centre into an Olympic standard health and fitness centre.

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Banksy Wrote:

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> 11. & a small velodrome on the Palm roundabout so

> that ED is well represented at London 2013.


Well done on changing the next olympics to 2013 Banksy, never liked the idea of 2012.

I may well make you my official sport maven.

Please send me a short CV and a long administative fee.

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Annex into East Dulwich all of the Grove up to Camberwell Church Street.


Then build a huge wall between Camberwell/Peckham and East Dulwich.


Oh and sell off Council Housing to outfits who can run it properly and weed out the deadbeats.

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Applying Logan's Run to ED would be an interesting experiment. Since most of the buggy-pushers look as though they're in their thirties, it would leave a lot of unattended Bugaboos, and a lot of bemused groovy young things with no idea what do do with the howling contents.
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1. Compulsary 2 hours per month voluntary work for all residents between ages of 13 - 65.

2. More facilities for young people - bowling alley/cinema etc

3. Free memberships to any sports clubs/gyms for us fatties to encourage us to exercise more.

4. Parents/guardians of school age pupils forced to attend one event per term at their childs school, failure to do so would result in fines and ultimately removal of child from that particicular school.

5. Make parents more responsible for their children.

6. Build a new Community Centre on site of East Dulwich Community Centre, so that they can hold/encourage more groups to attend and be less reliant on party bookings to bring in revenue. Give centre 3 years funding to cover basic costs.

7. Encourage people with large house to turn them into residential homes for the elderly.

8. Build more sheltered housing in area no higher than 2 levels, build more wheelchair friendly properties.

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...replace the palm tree on Goose Green roundabout with East Dulwich's very own version of Speakers' Corner.


Right to speak/order of speaking would be conferred by a ticketing system much like a supermarket cheese counter, and I'd implement some kind of XFactor style voting system where passersby could vote speakers off.


Thursday nights would be reserved, however, for famous ranters: Kevin Keegan, Alec Baldwin, Louisa* etc


*TFIC for the avoidance of all doubt - I think Louisa's fab (in her current incarnation)

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Thanks Honaloochie. "Contribution to campaign expenses" in the post to you.


Of course the Olympics will slip to 2013. "Who put this velodrome in for you? bloody cowboy whoever it was. We'll have to bish, bosh and bash this bit to make it safe. It'll cost you mind, and I have got other work on so.......2013".


Re: dealing with the oldies. Anyone remember Soylent Green?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green

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Local ED currency a good idea - it works in Totnes so why not here?


Apart from that I'd like to rule the skies and make it hot all day every day (at least 32 degrees) and if that is too hot for you then you can move somewhere cooler.


Then make a beach on Dulwich Park lake - with a cocktail bar and a selection of ice cold world beers.


And a total ban on ANYONE wearing sunglasses indoors - you do not look cool you look a tosser!

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. . . live there. No-one should be allowed to live in any other area other than that which they represent.

Then I'd ban all the big stores and have local currency and bartering systems and local shops and still allow the busses to go through and build a big underground car park where the Dulwich garden Centre is now. And build a swimming pool there in its place. With men only days, women only days, child accompanied by adult only days and child free days, and everyone and their dog days.

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