Offered: Tea-Leaf Reading (Lounged)

[*Bob*]

Dear SE22,

Offering my services as a tea leaf reader. ?50/hour, plus expenses (tea, kettle maintenance)

I have a Diploma from the renowned Stonebridge Associated Colleges. Feel free to check them out - they have a website, a logo and some photo library pictures of people learning stuff.

I generally do PG but can work with Typhoo as well.

Thursday night special: BYOC (bring your own cup) - 20% off.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Would you care to rephrase sentence three, please?

I don't like tea - could you branch out to instant coffee readings?

[david_carnell]

You should put up a notice in Le Chandelier - lots of gullible tea drinkers there.

[MadWorld74]

You guys are such wankers. So what if people have readings of any description? What the fcuk is it to you? Go sit on your flat earth and stick your teapots up your arses.

(Not edited once for swearing or bad language)

[*Bob*]

I saw that coming.

The tea sees all.

[JackDaniels]

Is somebody in this room having a caffeine withdrawls?

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

*Bob* I'm interested in your service but I need to know if you can read tea bags.

[jim_the_chin]

look out, the tarot card thread has been censored, this might be next

top lols for this *Bob*

[RosieH]

In this time of credit crunching, I would need a guarantee that the teabags were not being dried and reused - I wouldn't want a mixed reading from someone else's aura

why are the scientific evidence types always referred to as flat-earthers? surely is t'other way round, no?

[*Bob*]

I guarantee that any tea used will be organic or free-range (whichever rakes-in a greater profit).

Tea (loose, bags); coffee (beans, ground, pods, Instant, Mellow Birds).. In fact if you blow your nose onto a saucer and slip me a twenty I'll do my best.

Free tall dark stranger* with every reading - can't say fairer than that.

*height of your tall dark stranger may go down as well as up

[macroban]

You could hire a musician to write a jingle for you.

[*Bob*]

Sounds expensive.

[Administrator]

Moving this to the Lounge area.

[HonaloochieB]

MadWorld74 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> You guys are such @#$%&. So what if people have

> readings of any description? What the fcuk is it

> to you? Go sit on your flat earth and stick your

> teapots up your arses.

> (Not edited once for swearing or bad language)

I couldn't agree with MW74 more, her cogent and reasoned argument puts this thread to shame.

And yes *Bob*, I'm looking at you, oppressor that you are, I hope you have the humility to seek out a patch of flat earth and stick a teapot up your arse.

For then and only then will you find true peace.

And as for the rest of you @#$%& you are and @#$%& you shall remain.

[TillieTrotter]

Sorry Hona, you've been demoted to Prince among Men. *Bob*...you rule.

Edited.. because I'm slightly tiddly:)-D

[David Mc]

I'm most disappointed that censorship is happening here now. Free speech anyone? Plus - I donated in the time-of-crisis to pay the now blue-pencils. Not again. Unless I get an explanation.

[Administrator]

There is no more censorship on this thread. It has just been moved to the Lounge so that it may continue without the Forum team receiving complaints about it being in the wrong area.

[Huguenot]

As a teenager I was driven to open hearts such as your own *Bob*...

Twixt 12 and 17, too old for my mother's bosom and too young for a mututally exclusive relationship, it was only the gentle hands of a plam reader that offered me the intimacy and a sense of shared travails that kept me from the abyss.

Perhaps MW74, through the fog of your frustrations, this is the solace that you seek?

I have little doubt that within *Bob*'s aura, gently caressed by the cradle of his cool hands and entranced by his dark soulful eyes, your life will find meaning.

[SeanMacGabhann]

A genius post for sure - I was actually in a comedy club when I was notified about the kerfuffle around the thread, and I laughed out loud when I read it. Kudos *Bob*

I will agree with Sue, Madworld74 and the various PM'ers who appear too shy to support them in public inasmuch as the threads in Wanted section shouldn't be invaded by us cynics. The Reiki share group has been going for some time without anyone wading in with their size 9s which is think is decent and respectful

HOWEVER

Outside those threads we should be able to call it what it is - arrant nonsense.

Complete the following sentence:

"Without Astrology/Reiki/Tealeaf-Reading we would be unable to..."

I can think of two possible responses

1) "We don't need poetry etc but the world would be a duller place without them." Which is true.. but it assumes we are to take the practices above as artforms and tehrefore subject to the same critical reviews

2) "Astrology/Reiki/Tealeaf-Reading etc provides me and others with comfort and hope and guidance." But you can say that about ANYTHING - some people find solace in teddy bears but you don't, to my knowledge, get to claim any great input to the human condition or need any "qualifications" to do so. And in any case, all of the events which the practices "help" with will happen anyway

But I'm open to genuine answers from Sue and MadWorld and any others. Really - if I'm missing out on something I want to know

I will say I take personal offence at being called a flat-earther. The fact that it seems impossible to debate reason with some practitioners doesn't make me all that keen to enter a debate.. to the question "so what if people have readings?" I can only reply I'm not that bothered if you go and have a reading - but talking about it in public means it will elicit response. But disagree as I might, I'm not endeared to anyone who needs to respond

"Go sit on your flat earth and stick your teapots up your arses.

(Not edited once for swearing or bad language)

"

and who takes pride in not editing for swearing or bad language - enough to make it clear!!

i don't know much about Reiki Madworld, but I understand you are a practitioner and isn't the deal with reiki that it leads to some form of inner peace (I'm paraphrasing so please don't rip me a new one to say how little I know) - all I'm saying is I don't often see much evidence of said inner-peace

[Keef]

Sorry Hona, you've been demoted to Prince among Men. *Bob*...you rule.

Agree, *bob* is king, long live the *bob*!

Can I be Jack among men please, or page among men? :-S

[Jah Lush]

You're all fcuking peasants as far as I can see.

[SeanMacGabhann]

thank you JL (ooh just realised - same initials .. JahLush = John Lennon)

[Keef]

You're all fcuking peasants as far as I can see.

Fair point, can I borrow some money please?

I want it to buy some tea.

[Huguenot]

One need only review the Scientology debacle to know that such aggressive responses from these divine mystical pedlars broke no benefits. MW would do well to discuss this with their PR department.

I take the flat-earth jibe to suggest that somehow we are mired in a medieval backwater, whilst MW and chums have advanced to a hypothetical 'next step' for humanity. Perhaps a kind of elevated state that has moved further along the evolutionary road? One that clearly takes its strength from empirical evidence.

It neatly puts in our place by pointing out that for us to criticise her on her lofty perch is akin to a child chastising Kant's 'Critique on Reason' for spelling mistakes. Her nose is raised, her disdain apparent.

How miserable we must seem, floundering in our primoridal soup. Conversely, how impressive and awesome do the new age tribe appear in their citadel? They're like Philosopher Kings in all their gold and finery. I would be honoured to polish their stools.

[mockney piers]

In the current climate shouldn't we be encouraging spending on home grown industry?

Tea reading ticks all the boxes, local, rather than outsourced skills, stimulating spending on PG and Typhoo, and the growth in staffordshire teapot production?

Get's my vote, plus if the world was round, why aren't there hills in the middle of lakes?!