Awful, awful, awful books....

[Moos]

"A Kitchen Child, the sad tale of how Daddy Fed Me Brussels Sprouts"

[mockney piers]

Spot on Moos, I wanted to hunt him down and kill him half way through London Fields, and realised it would be easier just to throw it away.

[????]

You could have smashed in his expensive teeth paid for by said book...

[SimonM]

No one mentioned Jeff Archer yet? (*wince*)

[boosboss]

SimonM Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> No one mentioned Jeff Archer yet? (*wince*)

Isn't that akin to mentioning 'The Scottish Play' in the theatre?

(Real play title left out just in case some serious luvvies are reading ;-) )

[taper]

In the "awful books, commonly thought to be good" category, i would put The Sportswriter by Richard Ford. Anything by Michael Chabon would go in there too. And probably a lot of Thomas Pynchon.

[Bellenden Belle]

Wuthering heights.... absolutely torturous.

Yes all those terrible misery lit books.

99.9% of chick lit (The first Bridget Jones doesn't count).

And whenever I see people reading "How to make your first million whilst having no talent or personality at all" I feel nothing short of despair.

[mightyroar]

i just finished the Almost Moon by Alice Sebold.

A crock.

I should have known. The lovely bones was only about 25% good. and this was raging drivel from start to finish.

but i have sort of a rule that once you've started.................you have to finish!

[bignumber5]

Anything that you get snobbed at if you haven't read...

"Oh really, you haven't read Wuthering Heights? Oh...". Feck off.

Oh, and both Kilroy-Silke and Jeremy Kyle have written books...

[Moos]

Ah, thanks for the tip, mightyroar - I quite liked the Lovely Bones (and limped through her autobiography) so will steer clear of Almost Moon.

"Raging drivel" - brilliant.

The Alchemist by Paolo Coelo - philosophy written by Tinky Winky, Dipsy and Po.

[capt_birdseye]

I read a Michael Chabon, courtesy of Asset at the Book Swap, and rather enjoyed it, does that make me a bad person?

Worst book I finished was something by Wilbur Smith - utterly shite.

Worst book I didn't finish was Ulysses by Joyce - utterly unreadable.

[Jimbob]

i just don,t get the whole harry potter thing, wizardary, quiddich, etc fair enough, but a ginger kid with 2 friends, catch a grip.

[RosieH]

the abomination by someone abominable

I once received two copies of the lovely bones for christmas in the same year - I have read neither, nor will I. take your misery memoir and do something quite rude with it.

terrible books are one thing. people buying you terrible books because they're so "you" is something else entirely, and quite possibly merits the return of capital punishment

[VeryBerryCherry]

Good one Rosie,

Talking of books that people buy you because they are "Soooo you!:

How to Walk in High Heels, By Camilla Morton, - "the girly girl's guide to practically everything from what kind of shoes and stockings you should wear for various occasions"

WTF???

I do hope to read it one day to find out if it has any advice on how to drop friends who think that this kind of twaddle is yuor cup of tea.

[mockney piers]

London Orbital Iain Sinclair.

Pretentious twattery with a liberal smattering of namedropping buffoons I'd like to hit with his book.

Typical line "Oh freddled gruntbuggley, thy micturations are to me. As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee. Ooh look there's Bill Drummon, walk with me, pleeeeease be my friend."

[SimonM]

Why do you think I shortened his forename? :)) (Archer's I mean!)

[James]

Apparently Harry Potter and the Late-Night Tromboning is a good one

[Brendan]

Is that the prequel to Harry Potter and the Tunnel of Fire?

[Keef]

Wuthering heights.... absolutely torturous.

Thank you BB, I was going to say that yesterday, but thought I'd get beasted.

The Hobbit. Long long long, boring boring boring! Like the LOTR books, but hobbit is just hard work for very limited reward!

[mockney piers]

With you on the Hobbit Keef, though I find the LOTR a nice comfort read, mature children's reading that crosses over well to adulthood. Actually thinking about it the Hobbit was boring when I was a kid too.

And I found loads of the English classics really turgid, I know it's me rather than they being bad books, but I've given up on most of them in my time.

Dickens not included; boy knew how to write a good yarn.

[Jah Lush]

Oh God yes...anything by JRR Tolkien. Complete airy fairy fecking tedious twaddle.

Oh and yes Jeffrey Archer should be shot for crimes againt literature amongst other things. Give me the gun. Any self-help books like You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay. Utter utter bollocks.

[SeanMacGabhann]

The Hobbit and LoTR are surpassed SURELY by the Silmarillion - oh dear god that fekkin book was painful.

[RosieH]

Am clearly loser - I really enjoyed the Silmarillion

Why you all reading books that are so awful - tell me you're putting them down after 3 chapters right, not struggling on to the bitter end..?

[Brendan]

I loved the Hobbit as a kid and the Lord of the Rings as a teenager. I have reread them as an adult (I use the term loosely) and found the Hobbit not as exciting and fanciful as I remembered and the Lord of the Rings terribly slow moving. Still liked them though.

Could never get into the Simarillion

[Keef]

1984 is a book that I found to be very hard work. Obviously it has a lot to say, and it's well written and all that, but frankly it bored me.