Jump to content

Thirtysomething...

JustG

By JustG
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

JustG

JustG

Posted
Posted

OK, a bit of a Carrie Bradshaw moment...


Is it so unusual to be thirtysomething and not really know what you are meant to be doing with your life???


After mucho vino and conversation I am wondering...cos I meet a lot of twentysomethings that seem to have it all sorted: the purpose, the look, the career, the homelife, the lovelife etc.


Am I the only thirtysomething that still doesn't feel grown up? A bit of an imposter?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
indiepanda

indiepanda

Posted
Posted

I think it's pretty normal juding by conversations among me and my thirty something friends. It's certainly something I have experienced. I've got a pretty decent job, but I still sometimes look in the mirror and feel like the women in the suit I see gazing back is a kid dressing up in the clothes of a smart professional and wonder if I am going to get caught out!


And I suspect you'll find some of those twenty somethings will experience doubt the older they get. I'm sure its easier to be enthuisiatic about chosen career in first few years - after 15 it may not seem such a great choice, especially if things haven't gone as well as they might have hoped.


I suspect deep down most of us have doubts about some aspects of our lives, but perhaps it's the confidence that comes with getting older that allows us to admit it?


I think I seemed more confident about what I was doing / where I was going when I was in my early 20s than I am now in my mid 30s. Yet at the same time, I am more confident in myself as a person now. I certainly wouldn't have had the balls to turn up on my own to forum drinks then.


And with that confidence comes the ability to admit I am not sure exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life and that I think some of my past choices weren't the wisest, without feeling the need to beat myself up for it. In many ways I quite like the lack of certainty, more open to different experiences, more fun in seeing how it unfolds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mick Mac

Mick Mac

Posted
Posted
If "one" was 65 and looking back on your life, one might think there is nothing worse that one could have done with ones life other than spending most of it in an office, working with numbers on a spreadsheet - but nevertheless, thats what I do and I can't see that changing - If you are 30something and single, I'd encourage you to follow your dreams, try something different, play to your strengths and don't be a slave to a monthly pay packet/mortgage etc.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
baglady

baglady

Posted
Posted

Fast approaching fourty myself and i can completly understand justg's thoughts, and yours tls. However we've got the old clock going.....or gone...

On the other hand It's best to not compare yourself with anyone, whatever age and just keep going as long as your happy, if your not then have a think,a drink and a gamble.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dukesdenver

dukesdenver

Posted
Posted

I shouldn't worry JustG - I have a theory that big life events happen 10 years later than the average if you live in London - probably because they tend to cost money and no-one has any until their thirties! My mid-thirties chums are only just getting going on the whole houses/marriage/babies thing, for example.


If it's any consolation I am 34 with nothing to show for it except a (rented) flat full of books. No debt and fairly happy, though!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
karter

karter

Posted
Posted

Ok my turn. I am 36 today. I remember having those funny feelings before hitting 30 but as time goes on you get used to being thirtysomething. I have four friends that are turning 40 this month and they don't seem too bothered about it (not on the outside anyway). I have worked very hard since a young age and have achieved lots in businesses and can say i am quite settled now. I have travelled quite a bit and look forward to seeing new places. I have no kids and being thirtysomething can say that i would be ready for that chapter if and when it comes but i am not broody, yet. I love living in ED as it is a great community and you people are great, i have lots of friends and family around but what does the future hold? Who knows but like Emily said the important thing is happiness, health and love too.


Holy Moses did i really write all of that, Ok, you only got this out of me as it's my birthday and i haven't even had a drink yet.:-S


Thank you for reading.


Edited due to spelling mistake.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JustG

JustG

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Happy birthday Karter!


Honesty like that without a drink is to be applauded. Took a few sav blancs for me to put pen to paper - so to speak. Nice to hear that I am not the only one wondering what I'm meant to be doing. The funny thing is - I don't really feel a pull in any direction whatsoever yet. Not hankering after babies, marriage, travel, promotion, to be a size 0, to be a millionaire etc. Still feel like I did at 16 - main interests being boys (obviously men now, otherwise that would just be pervy), independence, alcohol, parties and shoes. Obviously I do have a job now, but definitley work to live.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
????

????

Posted
Posted

I think that one of the good things about getting old is realising that there isn't a sudden 'Euraka' moment when you've sussed 'it', know your destiny etc.....as the older ones have said I don't think you ever get the answer.....generally sometimes thing happen 'cos you've thought them out and planned them but generally things/life unfolds as you go along...and that's quite fun. So chill.....


PS I loved my 30s

Link to comment
Share on other sites
bigbadwolf

bigbadwolf

Posted
Posted

JustG Those twentysomethings you envy so much are probably boring arseholes, I mean who has the homelife 'sorted' in their twenties. I'm 25 and I live in a pokey little studio flat in forest hill with miss wolf who was once an illegal immigrant who is slowly learning English and throws crockery at me when she's pissed off. Don't have a mortgage, view far to much internet porn, drink far to much, work in the freezing cold, frequently break the law, take drugs, have a dark sense of humor, I don't think before I speak (which is why a lot of people don't like me on this forum) and generally have a lot of fun in the process. I wouldn't worry about it JustG.xxx


P.s I WILL NEVER GROW UP!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
indiepanda

indiepanda

Posted
Posted

???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think that one of the good things about getting

> old is realising that there isn't a sudden

> 'Euraka' moment when you've sussed 'it', know your

> destiny etc.....as the older ones have said I

> don't think you ever get the answer.....generally

> sometimes thing happen 'cos you've thought them

> out and planned them but generally things/life

> unfolds as you go along...and that's quite fun. So

> chill.....

>

> PS I loved my 30s


I couldn't agree more.


I wouldn't have guessed you had left your thirties behind mind you (assuming that is the implication of "loved"!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
HonaloochieB

HonaloochieB

Posted
Posted

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> JustG Those twentysomethings you envy so much are

> probably boring arseholes, I mean who has the

> homelife 'sorted' in their twenties. I'm 25 and I

> live in a pokey little studio flat in forest hill

> with miss wolf who was once an illegal immigrant

> who is slowly learning English and throws crockery

> at me when she's pissed off. Don't have a

> mortgage, view far to much internet porn, drink

> far to much, work in the freezing cold, frequently

> break the law, take drugs, have a dark sense of

> humor, I don't think before I speak (which is why

> a lot of people don't like me on this forum) and

> generally have a lot of fun in the process. I

> wouldn't worry about it JustG.xxx

>

> P.s I WILL NEVER GROW UP!


BBW, you may be, as Keith Waterhouse suggested in Billy Liar, always the juvenile lead, never the leading man.

I'm twice your age and I reckon with a tenth or less of your life experience, but I feel the same.

By the way, I like you well enough.

Cheers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SteveT

SteveT

Posted
Posted

JustG would be better off living in Stoke, .....replacement crockery is sooo cheap.



Bigbadwolf I have an affinity with all those who have a dark sense of humour, it is the one most likely to produce a belly laugh.



Karter many happies for your birthday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
  • Advertise Here

  • Latest Discussions

    • vladi
      The Chapel of Rest

      By vladi · Posted

      Kevin Campbell Kevin Campbell (footballer) - Wikipedia  
    • Lynne
      Foxes

      By Lynne · Posted

      Every night a fox is dragging our small solar powered pump out from the pond and chewing through the cable.  Two questions. One, of course, is why? What does it gain from it? Second is how can we stop it . We've tried taking the pump out at night but since most of the cable runs under the path, we can't put it very far away. We've tried weighing it down after removal but the fox, after a couple of days has learned to push the weights away. It seems to be enjoying the contest. We're not. Any fox experts with suggestions would be welcomed.
    • lollol
      How oversubscribed are the local schools? Will they be able to take on students who are currently privately-educated?

      By lollol · Posted

      Southwark and Lambeth may have some spaces but this is not the case of other London boroughs nearby particularly at secondary level. Also this is not just a London issue. There are many regions throughout the UK that have no school places available (eg Kent due to new housing developments, rural areas, Surrey, Guildford, Edinburgh etc). Just because you feel it doesn’t affect you, does not mean it’s right.  You also need to consider the proportion of foreign students in many of the private schools in the area which distorts the impression that local people can pay private school fees and suck up an additional £4-5k per child and per year. And sadly, the psychological and emotional impact on children is not even being discussed.
    • lollol
      Education not taxation - please consider signing this petition!

      By lollol · Posted

      Step in a child’s shoes just for one moment and think what it would be like to have to move schools in the middle of the year away from your friends, teachers, community etc. due to a political stunt. I doubt the money will even go into education. The UK will be become the only European country to tax education. Primary schools have some capacity where I live but I have enquired and there are currently no places for secondary school where I live. Again, so easy to be smug and say we should have pre planned a potential outcome 5 years ago when you live in your £2-3m homes next to the best state schools in Dulwich (like Keir Starmer!)

East Dulwich Forum

Established in 2006, we are an online community discussion forum for people who live, work in and visit SE22.

Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...