Thirtysomething...

[JustG]

OK, a bit of a Carrie Bradshaw moment...

Is it so unusual to be thirtysomething and not really know what you are meant to be doing with your life???

After mucho vino and conversation I am wondering...cos I meet a lot of twentysomethings that seem to have it all sorted: the purpose, the look, the career, the homelife, the lovelife etc.

Am I the only thirtysomething that still doesn't feel grown up? A bit of an imposter?

[indiepanda]

I think it's pretty normal juding by conversations among me and my thirty something friends. It's certainly something I have experienced. I've got a pretty decent job, but I still sometimes look in the mirror and feel like the women in the suit I see gazing back is a kid dressing up in the clothes of a smart professional and wonder if I am going to get caught out!

And I suspect you'll find some of those twenty somethings will experience doubt the older they get. I'm sure its easier to be enthuisiatic about chosen career in first few years - after 15 it may not seem such a great choice, especially if things haven't gone as well as they might have hoped.

I suspect deep down most of us have doubts about some aspects of our lives, but perhaps it's the confidence that comes with getting older that allows us to admit it?

I think I seemed more confident about what I was doing / where I was going when I was in my early 20s than I am now in my mid 30s. Yet at the same time, I am more confident in myself as a person now. I certainly wouldn't have had the balls to turn up on my own to forum drinks then.

And with that confidence comes the ability to admit I am not sure exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life and that I think some of my past choices weren't the wisest, without feeling the need to beat myself up for it. In many ways I quite like the lack of certainty, more open to different experiences, more fun in seeing how it unfolds.

[Mick Mac]

If "one" was 65 and looking back on your life, one might think there is nothing worse that one could have done with ones life other than spending most of it in an office, working with numbers on a spreadsheet - but nevertheless, thats what I do and I can't see that changing - If you are 30something and single, I'd encourage you to follow your dreams, try something different, play to your strengths and don't be a slave to a monthly pay packet/mortgage etc.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Well I'm 54 and single(no kids) and have thought for a while thats its time I,maybe,settled down,started a Family and decided on which career path to take,but I don't want to rush any of these things as you are only middle-aged once.

[baglady]

Fast approaching fourty myself and i can completly understand justg's thoughts, and yours tls. However we've got the old clock going.....or gone...

On the other hand It's best to not compare yourself with anyone, whatever age and just keep going as long as your happy, if your not then have a think,a drink and a gamble.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

baglady Wrote:

...just keep going as long as your happy, if your not then have a think,a drink and a gamble.

U R so right baglady!

I'm thinking right now

"Where can I have a gamble this time of the morning apart from Australian Horse Racing at Wakipedia":)-D

[????]

TLS - I hope you're up this early 'cos you haven't been to bed yet. I dunno, the youth of today.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

???? Wrote:

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> TLS - I hope you're up this early 'cos you haven't

> been to bed yet. I dunno, the youth of today.

I've had me 4 hours kip and I'm ready to rock 'n roll but first Match Of The Day right nowwww(tu)

...though not botheringwith Poke City/'Pool in the background...

[????]

You'll see the mighty Hammers soon

[Tony.London Suburbs]

???? Wrote:

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> You'll see the mighty Hammers soon

Am I seeing things or is Carlton Cole beginning to look like a Striker?

Bellamy is a live wire for sure!

[dukesdenver]

I shouldn't worry JustG - I have a theory that big life events happen 10 years later than the average if you live in London - probably because they tend to cost money and no-one has any until their thirties! My mid-thirties chums are only just getting going on the whole houses/marriage/babies thing, for example.

If it's any consolation I am 34 with nothing to show for it except a (rented) flat full of books. No debt and fairly happy, though!

[Jah Lush]

I'm 51 next month and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Don't worry about it. Stay happy. Remain positive and be true to yourself. You after after all a unique individual.

[karter]

Ok my turn. I am 36 today. I remember having those funny feelings before hitting 30 but as time goes on you get used to being thirtysomething. I have four friends that are turning 40 this month and they don't seem too bothered about it (not on the outside anyway). I have worked very hard since a young age and have achieved lots in businesses and can say i am quite settled now. I have travelled quite a bit and look forward to seeing new places. I have no kids and being thirtysomething can say that i would be ready for that chapter if and when it comes but i am not broody, yet. I love living in ED as it is a great community and you people are great, i have lots of friends and family around but what does the future hold? Who knows but like Emily said the important thing is happiness, health and love too.

Holy Moses did i really write all of that, Ok, you only got this out of me as it's my birthday and i haven't even had a drink yet.:-S

Thank you for reading.

Edited due to spelling mistake.

[KalamityKel]

Have u been drinking already karter?

[JustG]

Happy birthday Karter!

Honesty like that without a drink is to be applauded. Took a few sav blancs for me to put pen to paper - so to speak. Nice to hear that I am not the only one wondering what I'm meant to be doing. The funny thing is - I don't really feel a pull in any direction whatsoever yet. Not hankering after babies, marriage, travel, promotion, to be a size 0, to be a millionaire etc. Still feel like I did at 16 - main interests being boys (obviously men now, otherwise that would just be pervy), independence, alcohol, parties and shoes. Obviously I do have a job now, but definitley work to live.

[HonaloochieB]

Many happy returns Karter. Now get yourself off to Kebab and Wine for a celebratory meal and piss-up.

[karter]

Thanks Honaloo but will CYPRIOT TURK be waiting there for me?:-S

[HonaloochieB]

karter Wrote:

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> Thanks Honaloo but will CYPRIOT TURK be waiting

> there for me?:-S

Hope so. Remember - kissyface.

[KalamityKel]

*quietly starts singing* "Oh I do like to be beside the seaside..."

[Damian H]

Happy birthday Karter. You are looking well for a man of fifty-seven!

[????]

I think that one of the good things about getting old is realising that there isn't a sudden 'Euraka' moment when you've sussed 'it', know your destiny etc.....as the older ones have said I don't think you ever get the answer.....generally sometimes thing happen 'cos you've thought them out and planned them but generally things/life unfolds as you go along...and that's quite fun. So chill.....

PS I loved my 30s

[bigbadwolf]

JustG Those twentysomethings you envy so much are probably boring arseholes, I mean who has the homelife 'sorted' in their twenties. I'm 25 and I live in a pokey little studio flat in forest hill with miss wolf who was once an illegal immigrant who is slowly learning English and throws crockery at me when she's pissed off. Don't have a mortgage, view far to much internet porn, drink far to much, work in the freezing cold, frequently break the law, take drugs, have a dark sense of humor, I don't think before I speak (which is why a lot of people don't like me on this forum) and generally have a lot of fun in the process. I wouldn't worry about it JustG.xxx

P.s I WILL NEVER GROW UP!

[indiepanda]

???? Wrote:

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> I think that one of the good things about getting

> old is realising that there isn't a sudden

> 'Euraka' moment when you've sussed 'it', know your

> destiny etc.....as the older ones have said I

> don't think you ever get the answer.....generally

> sometimes thing happen 'cos you've thought them

> out and planned them but generally things/life

> unfolds as you go along...and that's quite fun. So

> chill.....

>

> PS I loved my 30s

I couldn't agree more.

I wouldn't have guessed you had left your thirties behind mind you (assuming that is the implication of "loved"!)

[HonaloochieB]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

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> JustG Those twentysomethings you envy so much are

> probably boring arseholes, I mean who has the

> homelife 'sorted' in their twenties. I'm 25 and I

> live in a pokey little studio flat in forest hill

> with miss wolf who was once an illegal immigrant

> who is slowly learning English and throws crockery

> at me when she's pissed off. Don't have a

> mortgage, view far to much internet porn, drink

> far to much, work in the freezing cold, frequently

> break the law, take drugs, have a dark sense of

> humor, I don't think before I speak (which is why

> a lot of people don't like me on this forum) and

> generally have a lot of fun in the process. I

> wouldn't worry about it JustG.xxx

>

> P.s I WILL NEVER GROW UP!

BBW, you may be, as Keith Waterhouse suggested in Billy Liar, always the juvenile lead, never the leading man.

I'm twice your age and I reckon with a tenth or less of your life experience, but I feel the same.

By the way, I like you well enough.

Cheers.

[SteveT]

JustG would be better off living in Stoke, .....replacement crockery is sooo cheap.

Bigbadwolf I have an affinity with all those who have a dark sense of humour, it is the one most likely to produce a belly laugh.

Karter many happies for your birthday.