Naive or Cynical - What's best

[Marmora Man]

Arising out of a brief discussion yesterday and a comment in another thread - I ask the question:

Do you believe it is better to be trusting and believing of your fellow man or completely cynical about them and their motives.

I, personally, tend toward the former - and think that's a better place to be.

[daizie]

well, being an employer , i tend to see the worst in people .

[bigbadwolf]

In terms of in every day life I think there are just too many variables to give a decisive answer.

[*Bob*]

You should start-out in life being naive and trusting and then slowly but surely, through a series of incidents which might be called 'life experience', you'll hopefully end-up with a healthy degree of cynicism.

Otherwise I'm afraid you're destined to forever be doling-out ?29.50 'for a taxi fare to see a sick relative' to an implausably wild-haired woman who gets you out of bed at 4am. Worse still, you could end-up on Watchdog, having shelled-out ?10k to have a 'special kind of chimney pot' fitted on top of your caravan - by a company who doesn't exist.

[bigbadwolf]

Judging by *Bob*'s insightful contribution I'd lay even odds that he's about 5 years from his halfway 'crisis'.

[indiepanda]

Marmora Man Wrote:

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> Arising out of a brief discussion yesterday and a

> comment in another thread - I ask the question:

>

> Do you believe it is better to be trusting and

> believing of your fellow man or completely cynical

> about them and their motives.

>

> I, personally, tend toward the former - and think

> that's a better place to be.

I don't think being trusting and being naive is the same thing. Having an initial stance of wanting to believe people can be trusted is fine, provided you learn to read the signs to spot when people are not and provided you take sensible precautions to protect yourself when trusting the wrong person could have serious consequences.

If you take being naive and being cynical as two vices at the extremes of the scale, the virtue of thinking positively about people whilst not being taken for a sucker (which I can't think of a good word to describe) is what I would like to aim for.

Mostly I like to think the best of people, but I've been too trsuting in the past - my last flat mate managed to steal ?3,000 off me - the signs were there but I didn't want to believe them.

[Santerme]

I work on the principle of taking people at face value, whilst retaining a tiny piece of healthy scepticism.

Over many years it has been fine.

I have been disappointed a very few times.

Currently I have 24 people who work directly for me and the only ones I don't trust fully are the half a dozen who have expense accounts.

That is a bit uber cynical of me!!

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Reality is most people are naive when younger and, then, after Decades of experience with multi-farius people in all walks of life they become quite cynical.

I,for example, had no excuse, as I was 40 years old already when I became a Bookmaker and started giving "credit" to various Punters/friends. BIG MISTAKE!...My 2 Partners did not want to insult the customers by not agreeing, occassionally, to their requests/pleas.

So we gave credit and lived to rue the day. One guy did not pay us the ?40 he owed us and then bet with the other Firms who would NOT give him credit! ( How is that for gratitude?). Of course he knew we would want to deduct his ?40 debt from any future winnings and he could keep all his winnings by betting elsewhere.

So we lost a valuable customer who gave the next Bookmaker around ?30,000 worth of Business for 2 successive years after avoiding us!...?60,000 worth of Turnover lost.

The final tally at Catford Stadium alone was around 150 different people taking advantage of our good nature and failing to repay around ?28,000. I could write a Book about some of the jolly japes we got involved in trying to get some of that back.

All those Guys "seemed" genuine.

[HonaloochieB]

Neither is a fixed attitude. If either is a fixed response to all you encounter then I'm sorry for you.

The absolute worst kind of lazy unthinking response is knee-jerk cynism, whether it's directed towards a politician, pop star, footbaler or 'celeb'.

Heard from the greasy-spoon to the work place to the pub to the wine bar to the message board. Ridiculously, unthinkingly easily repeated.

Time after time.

[bigbadwolf]

Isn't there a saying that goes "the naive get married and the cynical get rich" or am I wrong?

[EDOldie]

Can you be cynically naive?

[bigbadwolf]

Ask the contestants on the Apprentice.

[daizie]

when anything involves money, you see exactly what people are like .

[EDOldie]

I was thinking more of this forum.

[macroban]

Did Marmora Man trust the Russian Navy submariners?

[Santerme]

Probably more than I trusted the ISF

[bigbadwolf]

I imagine he trusted his gut and his crew but respected his silent foe non the less.

[Narnia]

Is it not true to say that the measure of one or the other is what you think you have lost by being one or the other? Otherwise you would not ask the question. Sometimes you don't know that at the time. I'd say neither is 'best' but as others have said it's down to your experiences. They must teach you something but hopefully not at the cost of being suspicious of everyone.

[reggie]

I reckon its naive to be cynical

[Marmora Man]

macroban Wrote:

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> Did Marmora Man trust the Russian Navy

> submariners?

On the whole I trusted them to keep depth in metres while I kept depth in feet - and that we would both go for obvious multiples 200 feet, 300 feet etc or 100 metres, 200 metres. With a little thought I could avoid obvious matches between multiples in feet & metres.

[EDOldie]

reggie Wrote:

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> I reckon its naive to be cynical

OK I agree with you, and Ronnie.

[citizenED]

Depends what you mean by best: best for you individually or best for community or society? A bunch of selfish individuals might think that it is "best" to be cynical so that no one "pulls the wool over their eyes", or "gets one over on them". I would far sooner live in a society of trusting souls who prefer to be neighbourly and kind.

[HAL9000]

citizenED Wrote:

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> I would far sooner live in a society of trusting

> souls who prefer to be neighbourly and kind.

In other words, a utopia for every scammer and con artist!

[Tony.London Suburbs]

In theory citizenED is right but after the 150th scammer or con artist turns you over it begins to lose its novelty value.

Now for the joys of "Cut 'n paste...:)

Imagine being conned and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again

and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and agian and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

The above is how ,many times DIFFERENT individuals promised us they would settle debts from ?5 to ?1,000 at Catford Stadium when I worked there and how many times we were let down. How many times Debtors became invisible and uncontactable and, often, when one tried to ask for OUR money WE were the "bad guys"....

Is anyone from Utopia, seriously telling me that, in future, we should continue to believe more people, as all these people had a believable story to tell.

Sorry but Utopians irritate me as they don't usually come into contact themselves, with any frequency, with your everyday common or garden scammers/con artists/liars that destroy peoples faith in others.

[Brendan]

Marmora Man Wrote:

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> I, personally, tend toward the former - and think

> that's a better place to be.

Well being a cynic you would.