Who would you like to smack more? ?Rhetorically like

[Brendan]

Gordon Brown

or

David Cameron?

Adam, from the make-up, break-up, oh for god?s sake just leave the fuckwhistle so he can fall into a pit of depression and off himself already, BT adverts

or

the Volvic challenge, drink ten bottles a day of this stuff that you can get from the tap and you?ll feel fit and healthy and want to play baseball with me, idiot?

[Ted Max]

Cameron, because I feel it would leave a nice imprint on his long, plump cheek. I've a feeling slapping Gordon might leave you with a lot of spit on your hand. And his eye might fall out, which might scare the children.

[citizenED]

Cameron obviously. You wouldn't hit Brown because it's just not on to hit a man when he's already down; Cameron's dander is always so perkily up that its just too tempting to give the guy a slap.

Ant

or

Dec?

[Brendan]

Seeing his eye fall out would be worth getting some spit on you hand for. Especially if you could pick it up and say, ?looking for this??

Jeremy Clarkson

or

Jeremy Clarkson?

[blah]

Cameron - Greasy PR professional

[sanity girl]

Cameron

and most definitely the idiot from the BT ads

[HonaloochieB]

I wouldn't slap Pa Broon but I wouldn't mind kicking his Balls.

[????]

oooh, oooh, both please

[woofmarkthedog]

Peter Mandleson in the "grin"

Then

Alan Clarke, just for the hell of it even though he's dead.

[*Bob*]

Is slapping a corpse considered an assault, in the eyes of the law?

Perhaps some of the legal minds on here can give us an insight.

(Cameron, every time)

[Nero]

Gordon Ramsay

or

Gary Rhodes

(This is a hard one.

My participation in this thread does not denote a support - tacit or otherwise - of physical violence.)

Cameron, obv

['bout now]

As he's just parked his car in the NCP opposite my office, can I just ignore all the above and go and Tw*t Piers Morgan?

[Moos]

Good call on Piers Morgan.

Definitely Gary Rhodes. Although you might impale your hand on his hair.

Paris Hilton

or

Victoria Beckham?

[AllforNun]

Violence is not the answer.

['bout now]

AFN with Piers Morgan it is the ONLY answer.

[HonaloochieB]

AllforNun Wrote:

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> Violence is not the answer.

No AFN, *Bob* recently informed us that jazz is not the answer, violence is sometimes effective.

[AllforNun]

AFN with Piers Morgan it is the ONLY answer.

do you mean in some kind of group video or just straight heavy petting ? will you be bringing your camera and fake buzzer along again ? although last time you seemed to take and age to Buzz.......

[cupid_stunt]

Paul Dacre, Editor, Daily Mail

[Brendan]

AllforNun Wrote:

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> Violence is not the answer.

What, even if the question is, what would you describe an action involving force and intended to cause destruction or pain as?

Jonathan Ross

or

Russell Brand?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Deleted.

[must get out more an stop being sarcastic.]

[bigbadwolf]

I've just about had it with you lot!

Brendan initiates a thread asking for you violent choices of punishment for various 'faces' in the public eye and this is all you can come up with.

You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Well, I suppose that as per usual it's up to me to get things back on the right track.

Who would I like to slap? Well to be honest there are plenty of people I'd like to slap but there are a lot of celebrities that I'd like to subject to heinous acts of unspeakably barbaric violence.

1) Alexander Prior

Alex has only just appeared on my radar but after watching channel 4's 'The 16 year old composer' he's earned himself a position in my hate chart. I think the best course of action would be to tie his parents to a chair and force them to watch as I douse their child in petrol and set him alight.

2) The cast of channel 4's 'Skins'

I've often wondered what sort of punishment I'd subject these cretins to but after being subjected to an episode where they have a party in a forest the answer came to me.

Invite all the twits to a party in the woods.

I wouldn't be present but I'd be watching the event through a military grade night scope viewing the mayhem and tradgedy the acid and E's I'd bought from the north Korean goverment were causing the care free delinquents of channel 4's Bristol. Once they realised that something sinister and 'uncool' was unfolding in the forest around them I'd start firing .50 calibre hollow points treated with Ricin and depleted uranium into their malnourished torso's. Now time for phase 2. I'd instigate a pincer movement using my private military contractors sourced from Chechnya, war criminals from Yugoslavia and Rwanda and a few South Africans for good measure to start mopping up any of the fleeing if not mutilated middle class revellers armed solely with rusty bread knifes and salt n vinegar. Phase 3, locate main cast. The boys will be taken via rendition flights to C.I.A and MI6 black sites in north Africa and Kazakstan where they would be forced to dress normally and do normal part time work but I'd eventually get bored and subject them to a 'Hostel 1+2' style incarceration. The girls would simply be stabbed in the face. I'd then deliver a tape of the final moments of their agony to their real life parents in an envelope marked 'ITV'.

3) P Diddy/Dudleigh or whatever the fcuk he calls himself these days.

This one is easy. Cover him in a sticky substance (you could use spunk) and cover hin in pollen. Stick him in a confined space and release a swarm of Bee's and watch them sting him to death.

4) Gordon Ramsey

I don't like this man and he looks like a scrunched up old leather sofa. I'd turn on a deep fat fryer and stick his head in it!

5) Bob Geldof

I'd give him the money by dropping a ton of pound coins on him, I might even use Euros to add insult to injury.

[Brendan]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> Deleted.

>

Oh come on. You're sarcasm is normally well worthwhile.

[Keef]

Here is a harder one. David Cameron, or George Osborne? (assuming of course that they are actually two seperate beings).

[Keef]

Since everyone seems to be down with some violence at the moment, how about A Cyclist or A Bus Driver? ;-)

[Atila Reincarnate]

Black cab drivers, who sincerely do believe that they own the road and that the highway code doesn't apply to them. GRRRRR