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erm wasn't this thread about meeting fellow forumites?? i'm a lil scared to come along to drinks now, i actually considered coming along & pretending to be one of the lesser forumites, but i totally look like an andystar ( i was given this nickname by several different people independently ) & also pretending to be a lesser forumite is a lil lame..

Moos Wrote:

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> I was described by a charming forumite as coming

> across on the forum as a 'older local lady'.

> However, I'm definitely not TedMax, alas.


If you are referring to the whole "petuniabuttons" thing... I'm actually starting to suspect *Bob*.

I love Moos to bits and she's not adverse to telling me off either. I like to picture Moos as a blend of the ever buoyant and reserved Elinor and Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility.


I see Quids as that rascal Thomas Palmer of the same novel. Or one of the gypo's in Guy Ritchie's Snatch.

No, no, no Keef, it's pronounced Moooz, rhyming with booze, shoes, cruise and snooze.


I do like the idea of being a 'local lady', blow-in that I am - there's a very nice couple a few houses down from me who moved into their house when they got married over 60 years ago, and are always friendly and welcoming to newcomers like us.


To go back to the original point, I think many of the forumites I've met in person are simply slightly exaggerated versions of themselves when online. I don't think BBW is alone in saying things here that he wouldn't say in person - the forum convention in my opinion is to be very frank and quite tough, in a way that would seem rude and aggressive face to face.

Isn't that also part of the medium though too Moos? There's no nuance - other than crass emocions - so things can come over more aggressively than meant, irony missed etc - this is especially true for new posters when people haven't really got to grips with their style.

Yes, I think to an extent it is. You can't nuance what you say with body language and tone, you can immediately post what you write on impulse, you can hide behind anonymity, you don't know the person you may be addressing and have no immediate concern with their feelings. So it's not surprising that people let rip and other people flounce, really. What was Mockers' cartoon about Anonymity + Audience = Fuckwit, or something?


But apart from that I do find that EDF debates are pretty strong and the convention does seem to be that you have to robustly defend your point of view, weaknesses are quickly and without much mercy exposed, and aggressive rudeness is normal. I think I'm quite thin-skinned, so others may not feel this way, but it's the reason I don't often join in debates here.

Keef Wrote:

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> Which is a shame, as you make a point more

> reasonably than most!


I would second that Keef, and add that both Moos and Annaj are among the few forumites whose posts I always read regardless of the topic, because of their ability to bring a calm and insightful perspective to the debate, and often to defuse aggressiveness rather than cause it (which is a breath of fresh air at times).

Not sure If I agree Moos (re debates), some can get very heated as they are about things people have strong viewpoints, strong opinions and put these forward robustly (as they should for a good debate), some get abusive/personel which is poor, some get hijacked by personal ding-dongs..but many debates on here are mere lighthearted flitters through various issues, i quite like those

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