My nightmare Birth!!

[Smiler]

Oh dear Kenzo, best wishes for your birth. People have such varied experiences with giving birth! Hope yours is a good one.

[nickyp]

Hi Heidi

Congratulations - hope you are both getting on well. Sorry to hear it started so horribly but can only get better. I'm planning a home birth - due on 26th - so hopefully I can avoid situations as you decribe, if things don't go to plan I shall follow your lesson to trust my instincts and yell!

Nicky

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Kenzo

I am really sorry to scare you, that is not my intention. Please ensure you have a qualified midwife, not a trainee, I will PM you the names of the two women who did me and avoid them if you can. I am going to pursue this as the whole experience has left my mum and OH and myself in shock, They broke down in tears quite a lot, simply because the staff, especially the nice staff just didn't care and the whole attitude was a shambles, saying that there are lots of women who gave birth there without problems, they seems to be ok and nothing like me, it is just my luck that I had all the horrible staff, I thank my lucky stars for that one midwife who took notice of me and helped me, even though the damage had been done.

I am just one part of a story, thousands of people pass though kings and have different stories, I am sure yours will be a positive one, Keep strong, make your voice held and make sure you birth partners speak on your behalf, dont accept any less than you deserve, otherwise scream and holler the place down, which I had to do because I was in THAT much pain and they could not igore that.

My friend is being induced today and is having an ok time, she is not in pain, and she is doing well, so you can have that positive birth story too! xx

[plimsoul]

i was induced and that first pessary was so painful that i too was thinking 'what the blazes is the rest going to be like'. felt like hot acid between my legs.

i was at st thomas' and they were great, but like all things to do with children and child birth one experience is totally unique to the next.

good luck with everything,

a

xx

[Keef]

Huge congrats Heidi, and I too am sorry to hear it was a bit of a mare!

Throughout the whole time until I gave birth, my son's heartbeat was going sky high and very low, I was constantly on the monitor and his heartbeat was not consistent.

Is this not totally normal though? It certainly matches our experience. I only say this, as if you complain, and include this, they'll jump on it, and tell you it's perfectly normal, and forget all the other points you make.

I know everyone has different styles, but it is amazing how a different personality, as well as experience can make a lot of difference. We had at least 5 different midwives dealing with Mrs Keef, for varying amounts of time, and with some, she felt so comforted, while one or two of the others, I think she'd still gladly swing for!

[kenzo]

Girls, thanks:)

I really hope things will go OK, trying to be positive but it's very hard!

My pain threshold down there seems to be very low cos I do have very painful periods with fainting and other attractions as well. I just hope the midwives will be as helpful as those ones in MAU unit and I'll mange to avoid all the bad ones...

Heidi, I would definitely complain and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get at least apologies, unfortunately they will not be able to change your experience. I just hope that keeping that little bundle of joy in your arms makes the whole thing worth it! I was waiting for your birth experience actually, hoping it would be positive.

I will not let my partner read your post with the birth description, think he would not let me go to hospital tomorrow at all!

Going to make a birth plan after all (was told it won't be necessary with induction) and there is only hope pain will not stop me from being able to communicate in English with midwives and my partner;)

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Oh Kenzo - it will be a doddle. I too have pass out periods and labour came nowhere near that pain. I was swanning around going for fags at 8-9cms dilated to the astonishment of the nurses.

You will breeze through it!

Edited to add, having a baby will probably cure your period pains.

[iaineasy]

you have a beautiful son, well done you should be very proud of yourself!!

hugs

Iain

[scotlass]

Firstly, congratulations on your beautiful baby boy, he's adorable!

What a horrendous birth story, I hope you start to feel human again soon. I had stitches and found that lots of salt baths were very soothing.

Good luck with everything xx

[Polly D]

Many congrats Heidi - he's completely gorgeous. Hope you and your little family are getting lots of support and help especially after such a traumatic and dramatic start. I know from reading your posts on here how prepared you were. Welcome to mummyhood xx

[KateMontero]

It's not normal for a baby's heartbeat to go up and down I don't think (although I am not a prof). During my birth my LOs heartbeat stayed steady for 24 hours apart from on one occassion, at which point the midwife got quite panicked. Although it turned out to be fine, apparently he was just holding the umbilical cord or something....

I am sorry that your birth was traumatic. I don't know if it is any comfort to say that they are not all like that and your next one might be completely different. Also, to be controversial, my LO is 9 months old and I've not forgotten the pain of childbirth! I think people who forget are very lucky :)

Beautiful boy. Many congratulations. Kate x

[Fuschia]

A baby heartbeat is supposed to show some variation, but not to deccelerate too much with a contraction

http://www.enotes.com/nursing-encyclopedia/electronic-fetal-monitoring

[intexasatthe moment]

What a gorgeous boy !

What an awful time you had ...heartfelt sympathies.

Be warned that if you have to go back to hospital environs ,some small unexpected reminder can bring it all back.

I was completely undone by smell of hospital handcleaner which left me a quivering heap.

Look after yourself .

[intexasatthe moment]

Aargh - just read your other post.

Sure smells and reminders are the least of your worries.

So sorry - keep strong.

[damzel]

Oh my, what a terrible experience you had! Enjoy your baby HH, he's beautiful. You will forget the nightmare eventually.

[ClareC]

OMG I am due in Jan and already worried! Why exactly are elective ceasarians frowned upon so much? Sound a sensible solution having read some of the stories on here :-(

Congratulations Heidi on the birth of your gorgeous son, I hope you are feeling a lot better really soon :-)

[Moos]

Hi Clare

If an elective C-section is what you want, then you should go for it, and never mind what other people think. But as someone who had an emergency C-section, if I were to have another baby I wouldn't choose a C-section. Having your stomach cut open is a big deal, and the recovery time is quite long. I'd say it was at least 2 months, perhaps more like 3, before I was mostly healed. The first few days and weeks are really tricky, you can't walk far (initially you aren't allowed out of bed, and you have to be catheterised - awful) and you have to rest a lot. Also you can't drive for weeks. Add all this to the normal tiredness and difficulty of having a new baby and recovering from the rest of the birth, and you can see why it's not a decision to take lightly.

Hope that helps! Happy to give more details by PM if would be useful. Maybe it would be helpful to ask people you know what their experiences were, it will give you a good picture. I had a longish labour ending in surgery but I felt very well looked after by the staff at King's and you can get a long way by just dealing with each thing as it comes, and relying on the support of the people around you. And I very quickly forgot the labour and concentrated on learning my new job, which is excellent distraction for the mind.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

If I ever have another baby I have to have a C section because of the scarring I will get down there, to be honest, after seeing my best friend who had her baby last week recover amazingly after her c section, I am jealous! She had a major op but seems to be coming on in leaps and bounds and she actually feels sorry for me!!

[Moos]

Well good luck to you both in getting back to full health.

[millie42]

Hello there.

I had a total nightmare with the birth of my first son and so when I fell pregnant with number two I made it very clear that I was determined to have a section.

Everyone was totally supportive of this decision and made it clear it was totally my right to chose. I feel very strongly that if you really dont want to deliver naturally you should try and insist on one. Sections are major surgery so should not be undertaken lightly but natural births are also very dangerous proceedures both for mother and child. Although I have the ugly scar and my lower abdomum is still slightly tender, my delivery via section was 1,000 times better than my experience of a natural delivery. After the section I was up and about within the day.

Having spoken to many doctors on this point it is clear the anti-section mood at the moment is purely due to funding with many recognising extreme government pressure to keep elective sections statistics down. That all said - most women deliver perfectly easily without sections and recover very quickly so it really is down to personal choice.

If anyone wants to chat about my experience of both - feel free to pm

[sillywoman]

Having spoken to many doctors on this point it is clear the anti-section mood at the moment is purely due to funding with many recognising extreme government pressure to keep elective sections statistics down. That all said - most women deliver perfectly easily without sections and recover very quickly so it really is down to personal choice.

Ooh Millie42, dangerous talk.

[helena handbasket]

I had a wonderful c-section. I chose a small incision across my abdomen over the "front to back down there" variety that my medical team predicted. No problems at all. No regrets. Perfect birth under the circumstances.

But I have never given birth the other way so........

Helena I'm so sorry it went that way for you after everything you did to prepare, but it will get better. I find it shocking that in 2009 someone as informed as you could have such a horrible experience. What does that say about the women out there who don't have a voice or someone advocating? Truly unacceptable.

[shoshntosh]

dear heidi hi

i'm so sad to hear of your awful and traumatic labour. i had a similarly bad experience (tho not at kings) and we complained and did receive a verbal apology. but that did not help... i actually think i was left feeling really traumatised (almost like post traumatic stress, though not that severe) and angry about my experience. only two things helped resolve those feelings: 1) talking to a counsellor about it and 2) giving birth a second time (this time in the comfort of my own home).

finally laid many ghosts to rest... and am only telling you this in the hopes that you don't underestimate how profound and lingering your feelings about your birth experience can be.

congratulations, btw, on your gorgeous boy. xx

[lorraineliyanage]

Having had an unplanned C-section (after an unsuccessful home birth) which went well and was really easy to recover from, I would still try for a vaginal birth for a second baby. It's a massive surgical procedure to go through, I just wouldn't fancy being cut open again in the same place. I'd also still give the home birth option a second go! I really think having the support of The Lanes midwives at home and at hospital really helped me get through it. That's the advantage of the home birth - the midwives stay by your side till the baby comes out, however that may be!