Crime in Dulwich (Lounged)

[northlondoner]

This is a classic thread!>:D< Entertaining, witty, scary, erudite, informtative. We even squeeze in some Latin.Respeck E Dulwich, respeck!

[nashoi]

I do wish people would be less cynical about crime on this forum. Over the last couple of months I have become a victim of a clever scam whilst out shopping. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old eastern european girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy tops in a most lascivious fashion. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another supermarket , in my case Sainsburys on Dog Kennel Hill.

You agree and they both get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing, and both get completely naked. Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately, and thrusting herself against you, in the meantime the other one steals your wallet!

I've now had my wallet stolen on October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, and 29th. Also November 1st, 4th, 6th, 10th, 14th, 17th and twice yesterday. I fear this will just keep happening unless the police can stop them soon.

Edited to say them stop them, not me

[panama]

I think you posted in the wrong section, try Fantasies i'm not sure if this forum has one though!.

[Santerme]

panama Wrote:

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> There are some stupid people on this forum

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."

Not my quote, not clever enough, Plato.

[HonaloochieB]

nashoi Wrote:

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I've now had my wallet stolen on October 4th, 9th,

> 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, and

> 29th. Also November 1st, 4th, 6th, 10th, 14th,

> 17th and twice yesterday. I fear this will just

> keep happening unless the police can stop them

> soon.

>

> Edited to say them stop them, not me

Bloody show off. One for the memoirs though.

[Brendan]

*grabs car keys and heads off for the supermarket*

[v_the_gelfling]

Hmm, not sure if crime is 'rising' in ED but, being viewed by many as a 'wealthy' area it doesnt surprise me that it is seen as a 'rich pickings' kinda place. Whether people come from other areas specifically, well, its possible, but, I would imagine there are plenty of people in the vinicity already who know where to traget. ED has not always been such a gentrified place...

[Brendan]

Compared to London in general I don't think Ed is a wealthy area.

[thebestnameshavegone]

Brendan Wrote:

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> Compared to London in general I don't think Ed is

> a wealthy area.

Have you seen other parts of London? It's no Hampstead but people on the breadline are certainly fewer in number.

Dagenham didn't have a shop that sold ?15 colanders last time I looked.

[Bluerevolution]

I've only just moved here and am now hiding behind my sofa-hang on, I lived in Hackney prior to here and Wythenshawe, Manchester before that

[JoeChuff]

panama Wrote:

> i wonder how many people share my views but keep

> it to themselves.

since the invention of the internet comments section, the answer is zero.

[thebestnameshavegone]

Bluerevolution Wrote:

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> I've only just moved here and am now hiding behind

> my sofa-hang on, I lived in Hackney prior to here

> and Wythenshawe, Manchester before that

I lived in Whalley Range...ED is basically Hollywood in comparison.

[5imon]

since we're playing toptrumps:

*pulls out "Longsight" card and wins round on 'home insurance premium' stat.*

[thebestnameshavegone]

5imon Wrote:

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> since we're playing toptrumps:

>

> *pulls out "Longsight" card and wins round on

> 'home insurance premium' stat.*

Ah, you win. My mate got kidnapped by a gang in Longsight and taken to a bank machine to empty out his bank account. They then gave him a lift to his house, where they proceeded to nick absolutely everything he owned.

Amazingly, he laughs about it now.

[5imon]

oof that's rough.

never had any trouble there meself.

ironically i got mugged in wilmslow tho*

*not by rio ferdinand, before anyone asks.

[thebestnameshavegone]

I worked at Oddbins in Didsbury for a time. It was ironically the most dangerous branch to work in. We got done over loads.

Anyway, er, I guess we're straying off topic (Admin, be great to have a dedicated 'Manchester' section where the 3 of us who used to live there can natter on incessantly, cheers)

[HonaloochieB]

thebestnameshavegone Wrote:

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> Brendan Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Compared to London in general I don't think Ed

> is

> > a wealthy area.

>

>

> Have you seen other parts of London? It's no

> Hampstead but people on the breadline are

> certainly fewer in number.

>

> Dagenham didn't have a shop that sold ?15

> colanders last time I looked.

Brixton isn't what you'd call a wealthy area, but Morleys sell 15 quid colanders, which just goes to show.

Joseph ones I think they are, I'll check at lunchtime and get back to you.

[thebestnameshavegone]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> Brixton isn't what you'd call a wealthy area, but

> Morleys sell 15 quid colanders, which just goes to

> show.

> Joseph ones I think they are, I'll check at

> lunchtime and get back to you.

Hmm, maybe my 'colander index' as indicator of local wealth is a slightly flawed model.

Maybe it is more closely-linked to Nissan Figaro density in a given area.

http://modculture.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/nissan_figaro_1.jpg

[*Bob*]

I think we all know the specific mode, make and model of transport that figures in this particular index.

[HonaloochieB]

thebestnameshavegone Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Brixton isn't what you'd call a wealthy area,

> but

> > Morleys sell 15 quid colanders, which just goes

> to

> > show.

> > Joseph ones I think they are, I'll check at

> > lunchtime and get back to you.

>

> Hmm, maybe my 'colander index' as indicator of

> local wealth is a slightly flawed model.

>

> Maybe it is more closely-linked to Nissan Figaro

> density in a given area.

>

> http://modculture.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized

> /nissan_figaro_1.jpg

But didn't Vanessa Feltz own one of those? That must skew the figures.

I don't how or why, but it must mean something.

Mustn't it?

[Brendan]

Nah the Nissan Figaro index may well describe ED by quantifying the amount of people who would like to be seen as interesting by having one of those cars that look old but aren?t and who probably don?t posses the taste or ability to recognise and/or seek out a real classic.

Wealthy people have a Bentley in the garage (which rarely emerges) and a ten year old Ford Fiesta parked on the drive.

[HonaloochieB]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> thebestnameshavegone Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Brendan Wrote:

> >

> --------------------------------------------------

>

> > -----

> > > Compared to London in general I don't think

> Ed

> > is

> > > a wealthy area.

> >

> >

> > Have you seen other parts of London? It's no

> > Hampstead but people on the breadline are

> > certainly fewer in number.

> >

> > Dagenham didn't have a shop that sold ?15

> > colanders last time I looked.

>

> Brixton isn't what you'd call a wealthy area, but

> Morleys sell 15 quid colanders, which just goes to

> show.

> Joseph ones I think they are, I'll check at

> lunchtime and get back to you.

I checked at lunchtime and they are by Joseph Joseph and the handle is designed to fit over the side of the sink.

They are only 11 quid though, so as you were.

They also have folding chopping boards by the aforememntioned two Josephs and I know they're 15 quid as I bought one a while ago.

[TillieTrotter]

I actually laughed aloud reading that Nashoi. Well done Sir.

[legalbeagle]

HB - I have done some investigating for you and have discovered the chop2pot chopping board. It uses the latest technology in polypropylene living hinges, and when the handle is squeezed the board folds into a chute to guide chopped and diced ingredients into the pot. It's made by Joseph x2 as well and costs ?14.95. Is this is the one you bought? Readers deserve to know!

[thebestnameshavegone]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > thebestnameshavegone Wrote:

> >

> --------------------------------------------------

>

> > -----

> > > Brendan Wrote:

> > >

> >

> --------------------------------------------------

>

> >

> > > -----

> > > > Compared to London in general I don't think

> > Ed

> > > is

> > > > a wealthy area.

> > >

> > >

> > > Have you seen other parts of London? It's no

> > > Hampstead but people on the breadline are

> > > certainly fewer in number.

> > >

> > > Dagenham didn't have a shop that sold ?15

> > > colanders last time I looked.

> >

> > Brixton isn't what you'd call a wealthy area,

> but

> > Morleys sell 15 quid colanders, which just goes

> to

> > show.

> > Joseph ones I think they are, I'll check at

> > lunchtime and get back to you.

>

> I checked at lunchtime and they are by Joseph

> Joseph and the handle is designed to fit over the

> side of the sink.

> They are only 11 quid though, so as you were.

> They also have folding chopping boards by the

> aforememntioned two Josephs and I know they're 15

> quid as I bought one a while ago.

*updates london_chopping.xls*